Sacrifices ☆H.S☆

65

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I couldn't sleep so I just looked at him do it. I sat at bed with my phone in my hand just rolling it in my hand and I looked at him exist. His breathing relaxed and silence, he needed that rest, I knew he hadn't sleep in days so I stood as quiet and still as I could for not to wake him up.

But I was already getting tired of being seated so I ended up getting out of bed and started pacing in the room. I felt the pain in my wound but it was the thing that hurt the less so I just ignored it. I was so used to the pain in so many ways by now that just a small wound was nothing. That was one of the things the doctor said, he couldn't believe how well I was coping with all of that and I had to bit my tongue for not to say "It's not the first time I get shot so..."

I didn't even know how I felt at the end of the day. I wanted to laugh for how stupid and ridiculous this all sounded, and I wanted to cry for how sad and hurt I felt and I also wanted to scream for how frustrated I felt and I wanted to run but I couldn't because of the pain. So basically I had all of that building up inside of me, waiting for one more thing to happen to finally explode.

I decided I needed to move or I'll have an attack so I walked out the room slowly, I had no idea where I was going but I had to move. I walked down stairs and went to the back yard. It was freezing but for the first time in my life I didn't care about it, I just hugged my self and stepped out feeling the cold and wet grass under my feet. 

I stood there looking at nowhere. Maybe at the sky, but honestly I wasn't looking at anything. My gaze might be directed to something but my head was not concentrated on it. I could hear my own heavy breathing in the silence of the night, the darkness of the back yard hiding whatever that was there that by now I had no Idea what it was. Maybe harry left it as before, maybe he didn't.

Maybe he left the entire house as before but the yard. Maybe he didn't even remember the yard.

In any case it didn't even matter because I couldn't see it.

I took a few steps more hugging myself even more feeling the cold take over me but still ignoring it. I sniffed and placed my hair behind my ear and went back try to mitigate the cold even tho it wasn't working. But I wasn't coming back in there. I felt pressed inside there, I felt I needed that cold breeze, even if it was choking me.

I sat slowly on my spot. I didn't bother to look for a chair because I couldn't see so why to make the effort. I started to plug out the grass from the ground as I looked at nothing once again. I tried not to think it too much, I tried to get a conclusion as well, I tried to make it make sense over and over again. But I was missing too much information to make it make sense. All I knew was nothing because everyone knows but me all the important information was always kept away from me and I was supposed to save them, but with nothing, how clever.

I stood up slowly again and walked in the house, again it was preety dark but this time I knew what was there so it took me less time to get back to the second floor. I stood in front of the guest's room and opened it carefully, then walked to the bed and stood there next to it, I didn't want to wake her up but apparently she was awake already.

-"Can I sleep with you?"- I asked right away.

-"Of course"- She answered. She sat on the bed getting closer to me. -"Are you...? Davina you're freezing baby are you ok?"- She asked concerned. I nodded feeling rather well actually. She reached out to turn the lights on. I liked it dark better.

-"I'm just fine... can I?"

She moved a side to let me some space to lay on. I got comfortable under the blankets as she did the same by my side. Her hand went to scratch my scalp as she used to do when I was just a girl to make me sleep faster.