Sacrifices ☆H.S☆

59

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-"I'm going to be back love"

I woke up in the moment he kissed my forehead but was too sleepy to react right away. But still saved the words in my head.

I sat at our bed looking around a little bit confused by the fact that my husband was not by my side as I believed he was. The words kind of kicked in after a while as I reacted and woke up properly. I felt tired and my throat hurt for some reason but I had no energy for anything else so I just threw my self on the bed once more hugging the pillow to my self and getting under the couple of blankets, I didn't remember to use that much last night but they where there and I wasn't going to complain.

Last night.

It was as if the hours of sleep had erased all of the feelings but as the minutes passed and my head set up again the memories and the things that happened yesterday sank in and started with the torture again.

He's dead.

I remembered my self saying those words and how awful it felt. Just like now. The most I thought about it the worst it felt and the worst it hurt.

I hugged the pillow more to my chest trying to not to cry but failing miserably. Still I tried to be less loud, I didn't want any of them to worry about me, if they cared of course.

I thought about my mom and how she must felt right now. My sisters and brothers, and my niece that loved her "abuelito" to death, and the fact that I couldn't be there for them. Or them for me.

I reached to grab my phone, unlocking it and going through the notifications. A message from harry assuring me that he will be back and another lots from people that I didn't even remembered but that apparently they were sorry for what happened with my father. I ignored all of them. I just wanted to talk to mom. I called a few times and when I was ready to give up and cry a bit more she finally answered.

-"Que paso?" (What happened)- was her first response.

-"No te puedo llamar sino pasa nada?" (I need a reason to call you now?)

-"No mi amor, I'm just... worried lately"- She sobbed at the end of the phrase and I hand to hold everything in me for not to do the same. -"How are you?"

For some reason we both chosed to ignore the real reason of the call even if it would have to come sooner or later. But still we acted as cool as possible.

-"Sad, I guess"

-"Know the feeling"

-"How is it going there?"

-"Better than I thought"

-"How are them?"

-"Valerie hasn't step out her room but that's normal, Saima've been crying all day, Emilio broke up with his italian girlfriend so he could come here, victor hasn't shown up his face, he's probably drunk somewhere, but over all we're fine, it's normal I guess"

I wiped my tears and snot, sniffing loudly to then take a deep breath and speak again.

-"and how are you?"

-"I'm... I don't even know how I am"- She answered sincerely. I heard her sniff as well and then broke down at the other end of the line. I moved the phone away from my ear and allowed myself to cry a bit more freely, just for a few seconds tho, and then came back to hear her. -"I was expecting it, I really was but... it didn't shock me less... I... I already miss him"

-"I wish I could be there"- I told her in the middle of my sobs.

-"I know, I know, but we need you there more than here, and we're going there anyways so you just have to wait"- She tried to sound more calm but still I could sense her struggle.