Sacrifices ☆H.S☆

36

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Something didn't added up in my head but I knew one thing and It was that if I was going to blame someone it would be her. Mia.

I needed to blame someone, direct my anger to someone, because I couldn't against harry. I was the wickest of all of the wick when he looked at me like that whit those pleading hurt eyes. When he kissed me so desperately, hugged me so tight. I just couldn't.

-"I'm going to kill that bitch"

-"no you won't"- he said somehow worried.

-"Yes I will, she caused all of this mess"

-"No she didn't, I did"

I pulled my hands away from his and he panicked again, so I stayed in my place, but didn't let him touch me.

-"You almost kill that guy... what happened last night?"

-"sorry, I was-I don't know"

-"you're not sorry, I can tell"

He just took a deep breath and looked up.

-"I'm going crazy"- he whispered. -"I don't know"

I wanted to hug him but couldn't give in that easy. But I wanted to hug him so bad. God help me.

I walked to the bed and sat on it. I didn't know what to do, I was much more calm now but I still had so many doubts. I didn't know why I thought about it so much if I knew I would end up staying with him anyways. I just knew one thing and it was that I loved him with my entire soul and heart and life but still he hurt me and I loved myself as well.

He came to me and knelt in front of me, took my hands and kissed them.

-"baby, please don't leave me"- he said with glossy eyes.

-"stop pleading"- I said looking at him somehow coldly. -"stop pleading harry, and stand up I don't want to see you on your knees"- he looked at me a little sock. I stood up and made him stand up as well.
-"You shouldn't kneel in front of anyone, never, much less me... and stop pleading I'm trying to look mad"

-"I just want you to forgive me and stay with me"

-"I know"

God! Why is so hard to do this? Why does it hurts so much? Why do I love him so much?

I looked at him look at me, Waiting for me to say something. He looked so tired, there were a thousand feelings in his eyes. His entire body was a mess, all dirty with blood, especially his hands but he didn't seemed to care. It scared me for a minute, how violent he got and I just disapared for one night, what could've he done if I go permanently? The worst thing is that I started to justify his actions as soon as the thought crossed my mind and that scared me even more.

I took one of his hands in mines, blood even in his nails. I walked slowly to the bathroom bringing him with me. I closed the door behind us and started to unbutton the button on his wrists, and then few ones remaining buttoned on his shirt. He just looked at me. He had stopped crying and his breathing was steady now. I could see how tired and sleepy he was.

-"I love you"- I started lowly. -"but things are not going to be as they were before... just, give me time"

He nodded looking sadly at me.

I took off his shirt and threw it to a corner. I'm not washing none of this, not even mines, I still have to clean enough in the living room.

I continued with his pants and then his shoes and he just stared at me. I left him with just his boxers and started to undress myself.