Sacrifices ☆H.S☆

55

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-What should I pack?"- She asked me as we walked into our room.

-"Just clothes, the other house has everything"

She nodded quickly and walked to the closet. I walked behind her thinking of helping her to pack everything having into account that it would be a lot but she pushed me out and told me to pack the rest. I did as told taking everything important from the bathroom and throwing it on the bed so she would pack it with the rest. Then went to my office and gathered everything that seemed important, every document, good or bad, just everything honestly. Also took davina's pictures and my personal documents that always ended up in one of this drawers.

Then went up stairs with two of my cases full of papers. I walked pass joshua's room and as I've been doing for the past days I didn't even looked at it. But I knew I had to walk in but still, postponed the act the most.

But after a few minutes and with nothing else to pack I decided I had to do it. I walked in slowly, taking a deep breath as I opened the door.

Have you ever walk into somewhere and feel that specific smell that characterize someone or something, and it sticks to your mind and every time you smell it, even if its just a smell alike, the memories and feelings fly to your mind and it's all so real. Like the smell of the first time you walk in someone house... it's just different in everyone's house and you wonder if your house has it own smell but you just don't feel it because you've always lived there.

That was that smell that was so his, not an specific cologne, nor anything like that, it was just, joshua's smell. Joshua's room smell.

And it hit me like a fucking truck. I had to take a step back and breath for a few seconds to then try again. I decided that I wouldn't cry for him because he wouldn't like that but it was hard to not to.

Still I gathered all my strength and walked in closing the door behind me.  The room was in perfect order, I knew it had been davina but apparently she knew him enough to know how he used to organize him room because it looked just as if he was going to walk in at any moment and apologise because he had been gone all day. Or maybe not, lately he wouldn't apologise for anything.

I stood there not knowing where to start. I felt that weird feeling in my stomach that hits when I get nervous or anguished and my hands felt wet. Apparently I was already sweating.

I took a deep breath and took a few steps close to the bed. It was perfectly made and that was what told me that davina was the one who organized this because when he made the bed he just threw the cover on top and that was it. What was under it was not his problem.

I smiled at the thought. He was always so free, so careless. The only thing that I felt he cared about was me.

My smile disappeared faster that it appeared, a frown taking over, tears threatening to come out so I looked up and breathed deeply to calm down. I hugged my self before a tear rolled down my cheek all the way down my chin. But just that one escaped.

Next to his bed, on the nightstand was a picture of his daughter that he had drown a mustach on but she thought it was fun and cute, I never saw him smile more than that day when she showed the slightest empathy to him. And that picture was his everything. And next to that picture were a hundred of me.

The one of my graduation was my favourite. We were outside the Chinese spot and we asked some stranger to take the picture, I could've take a selfie but he wanted me to show the dam diploma. And at the end the one holding it was him, and also using the cap. It was a fun night.

I took the picture and opened the whole thing to take just the actual picture. And so with the rest that were all over the room. I walked out the room and into mine to ask to davina for a box, she gave me one not paying much attention to me and I went back to joshua's room.