The Cold Star |Seventeen FF |

56: Game on

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"I hate to admit it, Soonyoung... but he's someone that will always has a special place in my heart." I said out of deep thinking.

"Special?" Hoshi quietly asked.

"I thought I can run away from the memories we've created together, but it was too beautiful that it hurt me when I tried to erase it. " I finally breathed out and looked at Hoshi with a bitter smile.

"He's my man.... but in the past."

For a brief moment, Hoshi was surprised to hear the sudden confession from me, but from a curious expression now his face turned serious.

"How did you lose him?"

His inquiry made me flinched inwardly. It somehow gave pain somewhere in my heart. Everything suddenly replayed in my memory box like a movie which made my lower lips quivered and I was breathing hard but I tried not to make it obvious as I immediately turned my face away from Hoshi.

I was sick of the same emotions everytime Wonu's topic to get involved. I was tired and wanted to get rid of it. It was getting lame because I kept holding on something that wouldn't come even I waited, because the string of hope almost gone. Deep down, I thought maybe its time for me to accept the reality now, and moved on.

I took a deep breath before answering him.

"He could've tell me, you know..... If he had explain , at least I would've gotten some clarity out of it, but he wasn't. He wasn't, so all I can think about is that he tired of me so he left." I uttered out silently.

"He took care of me very well. That only make me depend on him too much, and now I regretted it. I shouldn't had depend on him. He almost everyday with me, but when I woke up from my comatese state, he's already gone." I added with a bittersweet smile.

Hoshi listen to my confession in silence. He slightly gaped at me after I had confessed out everything to him - from my past relationship with Wonu, his mother hatred towards me, the accident until the last day I met him.

"Are you sure this is not a kdrama?" Hoshi gasped as now both of us were seated on the sofa in the hotel room.

"No.. Soonyoung," I slowly let out a sigh.

"I mean, your family , your childhood friend... I can't seem to believe it," He frowned and I smirked.

"I'm telling you the truth bro, you can ask our uncle." I chuckled softly, as if it didn't matter to me anymore.

"I know you're telling the truth seeing how you lashed out on me when I asked about him before. Wait, so the bracelet you've been wearing since.... was it from him?" Hoshi continued with his eyes glinted with much curiosity.

A faint smile formed on my lips as I looked at the bracelet wrapping your wrist. Why did I'm still wearing this?

"Yeah.. I was not a happy kid before Soonyoung-ah. And he was the one who would always give me strength. In fact, I can faced all the darks and hell moment is because of him, he's my hope to bear another day after I lost my mother." I smiled to myself as I spoke.

"God, does that hurt." Hoshi murmured, clutching his heart and I inwardly thanked him, appreciating the way he would always care about me as brother.

"But you think you're moved on now?"

I was quiet for a moment as I was thinking. I didn't know if it was a mistake to say the truth because I have love Mingyu now, but I couldn't deny it anymore..