(CLOSED) TF2 x Reader Oneshots

Name Calling - Scout x Child!Reader

"SCOUT!" Demoman called. Scout came running over from the living room. He met Demoman at the front door to the base. "There is some lady out there demandin' to speak with yah." Demoman crossed his arms and took a step away from the door.

Scout opened it and was slapped hard across the face. He groaned and held a hand to his cheek. He looked up and saw a chick that he had banged with, with a bucket of chicken. She was fuming. "I have been looking for your ass for a long time! You and your STUPID bucket of chicken have screwed me over, LITERALLY!" Scout frowned. "Hey listen here-" She slapped him again. "NO YOU LISTEN HERE! Because of you I had to spend months being sick and treated like a whore." Scout was rubbing his head again. "You were already a whore..." He mumbled. "Now I have come to give back your gift!" Scout hadn't noticed the bundle of blankets dew to him being slapped.

She roughly pushed it into his arms and slammed the door shut. Demoman looked at Scout. "Bucket of chicken ey?" Scout nodded and looked at the blankets. He saw... a nose? Oh no.

Scout almost screamed. Demoman saw the shock on his face and looked at the blanket. He laughed at Scout and took off running to tell the others. Scout moved away some of the blanket to reveal a sleeping toddler.

She wore a tag stating her name, which was Y/n, and date of birth, which was M/D/Y, she was one year old. The little girl yawned then opened her eyes. Scout immediately melted at the child's eyes. They were so beautiful, big and bold, full of wonder. The sound of footsteps approached from behind as Medic, Engineer, Demoman, and Heavy approached. The others were either outside or drunk enough to still be asleep.

Engineer looked at the child as Scout turned around. "Wow... She's a beaut ain't she?" Medic nodded. "Very true mein friend... but zhat raises zhe question on how Scout could make such a wonderful looking child." Scout frowned. "I dunno what your talking about, I look great!" All of the other men shuffled their feet. "Whatevah yah say Scout." Demoman said.

Medic clapped his hands together. "Vell back to more important matters... zhe child. Vhat is her name? All Demoman said vas zhat jou had a little girl." Scout looked back at you. You blinked up at him and raised your arms to him. He pulled you closer to his face. You grabbed his cheeks and patted them. The men all 'awed' at the sight. Scout smiled. "Her name is Y/n."

The men looked at the little child. You looked at them and made some strange child noise. Engineer smiled. "Golly she is really cute... Ah just love kids." Scout looked at you and just allowed your hands to stay on his face. "I don't know much about kids... let along girls. I grew up with brothers. How am I supposed to take care of this little one?"

You looked at the men. They were very strange and kept making noises you did not understand. The one holding you was nice. You like him. They all sounded funny too. The biggest one soon leaned down eye level with you. "Scout, leetle gurl looks bored. She vill need attention." The man said.

You yawned then looked back at the man holding you. He looked down at you. "Hey Y/n." He said your name, you knew that much. "I'm your dad. That's what you call me." You tilted your head. You mom had talked about your dad but she didn't really talk to you much... let alone do anything with you. You stuck out your bottom lip.

He pointed at himself. "Dad." You blinked. He repeated himself. You put a hand on his chest. "Duhd." The man with the weird hat laughed. "Oy Scout the lass called yeh a dud... she knows you well." That man looked like a pirate in your opinion. You had seen pictures of pirates.

Scout hit the pirate man over the head. You patted your hand up and down on Scout's chest. He looked down at you. "Yeah Y/n?" You continued to pat his chest. He put a hand on yours. "Dad." He took your hand and put in on your chest. "Y/n." He then put his and your hand back on his chest. "Dad." You patted his chest. "Duh...ah...duh."