(CLOSED) TF2 x Reader Oneshots

Soldier's Roommate - Merasmus x Reader

Requested by - Loudpanda121

I hope you like it :D

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You looked around at everyone in the room. All the mercenaries were in different costumes. Medic was a skeleton, Heavy was a zombie, Sniper was dressed as hawkeye, Spy was a butler, Scout was a baseball player, Soldier was dressed as George Washington, Demoman was dressed up like a pirate, Pyro was a balloonicorn, and Engineer was dressed like a cyborg. You were dressed as your favorite superhero as well.

Everyone was either drinking or playing some sort of game. Scout was locked in a deep match of Just Dance with Pyro. You couldn't tell who was winning but you hoped nobody got hurt this time. You were sipping at a cup of fruit punch that Soldier had made, it wasn't very sweet but it was good.

A ring came from the doorbell. Most men groaned but you rose your brow. You began to walk over to the door when Engineer grabbed your arm. "Don't darlin'." You chuckled. "What? Are you guys scared of trick or treaters? They are just kids." Engineer shook his head. "It's Soldier's old roommate..." You put your hands on your hips.

"Guys come on it's rude to exclude people if you don't like them. Spy hangs out with Scout but he doesn't like him!" Spy frowned and Scout called from his game. "I heard dat!" You went to grab the doorknob when multiple men ran at your and grabbed your wrist. "Ow guys!" You pulled your arm back. They let go right away and apologized.

"Listen darlin' every Halloween he comes here and we get pulled off into some crazy place." Engineer started. " 'e is always in trouble wis zhe Mafia of some sorts. Zhere for 'e comes to us to solve 'is problems." Spy added. You rubbed your wrist.

Another ring came at the doorbell. You looked towards the door. There was a window next to it so you walked over and looked out it. You saw some person in a robe with a skull on his head. There was no one else there. "Hey guys, there is no one out there. Except some weird lookin' lady."

A lot of the men laughed. "Das vould be Merasmus." Heavy said. You rose your brow. "Is that the guy? Why does he look like that?" Scout piped up from his game again. "He's a wizard." You laughed. "What's so funny?" Scout asked. You quit laughing. "You're not kidding? He's an actual wizard? Why is that not the weirdest thing I've witnessed here?"

The third ring came at the door and you looked at everyone. "I've got an idea. You all act like you're not here! I'll send him over to the other base and tell him the mercenaries that live here have been relocated to a different base." Sniper shrugged. "Yah could try sheila." You smiled. "Alright everyone, go hang out in the dining room, there's beer, and chips in there." They all began to file out and into the dining room.

You messed up your hair and made it look like you just woke up. You opened the door and put on your best tired impression. You rubbed your eyes. "Sorry kids... I'm all outta candy. Oh, hi there." You said. Merasmus looked at you, clearly confused. "Mortal! Where are the mercenaries that live in this building?"

You yawned and chuckled. "Sorry sir, there are no mercenaries in this place anymore." He tried to go in the building but you placed your hands on his shoulders pushing him back. "Fool! I can smell the scent of alcohol! That Scottish idiot must be here!" You almost laughed. "I was having a nice couple of drinks before I went to bed. You woke me up ringing the doorbell."

He was still trying to push you over to get in but you kept your hands on his shoulders. "If they are not here, prove it!" You met his gaze. His blue eyes were intimidating to you but you couldn't help get lost in them. "Listen sir, I'm sure you're a very nice man, with wonderful eyes, but I can assure you they are not here. The other base is still occupied by mercenaries though." He rose a brow and stopped pushing against you. "What did you say?"

You realized what you had said. You face palmed and looked away. "I-I'm sorry I didn't mean that." He bent down to meet your gaze. "You like my eyes? Thank you, yours are very nice as well." You blushed slightly and he noticed. "Are you alright mortal? Have I scared you, your face is turning red?" You fumbled for words.

"Y-yes I am fine! I just got really warm suddenly!" He pressed to fingers to your lips. "Shush, your voice is rather nice to listen to but I, Merasmus, have mercenaries to kill. Now if you will excuse me." He turned to leave but you followed him. "Wait!"

He turned back and looked at you. "I'm Y/n, I've never met someone like you. Can I get to know you better?" He seemed to blush. "You wish to know me? How is that possible? No mortal, or living being, has ever cared to 'get to know' Merasmus." He said. "How are you on this world? You as a being seem much more interesting than any other human I have met. Are you even human?"

You smiled. "Yeah I am." Merasmus began to circle you. "What are you doing?" You asked. He ignored your question and continued to circle you, observing many details and things about you. Like the way your eyes shined at a certain angle, or how your superhero shirt fit your form perfectly, even the way your hair stuck up in odd angles. "I, Merasmus, must admit to you mortal, you are the best looking being I, Merasmus, have seen so far."

Your cheeks flushed violently. "I wish to study you." He said. "For research purposes of course." He added, to which you nodded quickly. "Yes of course! How can I contact you?" Merasmus cleared his throat. "Only one man possesses the number to call me. As for you, I will contact you myself." You nodded again.

He bent to your level again. "So long mortal, I have enjoyed our small chat. Now I must go find the mercenaries that must do my bidding." He took your hand and kissed it lightly. Then he left in a bright flash of green.

Your face was still red when you walked back into the dining room. "Sweet Mary mother of Joseph!" Soldier yelled when you walked in. "Oh mein gott Y/n! Ve vere vorried zhat he took jou!" Medic said.

You noticed that they all had their guns held tightly in their hands. You smiled. "I'm alright guys. He's gone off to the other base." They seemed to relax but Heavy spoke up. "Your face is red. Did petty vizard hurt you?" They looked back at you.

Your face got a little redder. "Oh, n-no I'm alright. We just talked." Scout slid over to you. "Talked 'bout what?" His face was plastered with a smirk. You punched his shoulder. "Nothing important to you, now if you will excuse me, I have some beers to finish." You said, trying to change the topic.

Everyone filed back into the main room and you went off to crack open a beer. You couldn't get your mind off of the wizard Merasmus though. He seemed rather charming in his own way and he was like no one you had met. True he was an enemy of the mercenaries but he was Soldier's roomate.

How bad could he really be?