Sing For Me

Relax It's Just Us Sweetheart

"Come on sweetheart lets head off shall we" Ben suggests collecting his things in his bag and popping his coat on. He takes my hand and we head towards the reception from where I came

"You found each other then" Anthea calls

"We did thank you" I say to her

"I'm off now Anthea I'll see you in the morning" Ben says to her

"It was lovely to meet you Lisa" she says to me

"You too" I say

"Have a lovely afternoon" she says

"We will, take care" Ben says to her and we head off.

We walked to the car park "So what would you like to do with our free afternoon then sweetheart?" Ben asks. I bite my tongue not sure how or if I should say it. It was a chance for us to be alone together, a rarity. The children were at nursery until six.

"Have you eaten darling are you hungry?" he enquires again. He knew I was hiding something. "Is everything OK Lis?" I look at him "Please if there's something wrong tell me" come on Lisa just tell him as I jump into his Land rover. Ben pops his bag on the back seat hanging up his jacket then jumps in "Are you going to tell me what this is about sweetheart" he asks

"Can we go somewhere we can be alone, I need to be with you Ben just us" as I bow my head a little but gently smile at him he knew what I meant I could see it in his eyes even behind those sexy glasses.

He pops his hand under my chin lifting up my face smiling at me "You mean" he whispers to me and I just smile again "We can go back to my house if you'll be comfortable there darling" I just keep smiling at him my heart is racing like crazy as he rubs his knuckles against my cheek. "Are you sure this is what you want" I give a gentle nod
"I am" I tell him.

We arrive outside Ben's house, it's stunning I'd only seen it the once from a distance. We walk in and he takes my coat. I see him take off his shoes so I do the same with my boots and pop them on the little rack he has next to his. "Go on through, I'll make us a drink" as he heads for the kitchen. His living room is cosy and made for comfort, he has a piano in the corner of the room and a guitar resting on a stand. Theres a real fire an open fire, Id always wanted one of those. I notice he has photographs of me with Riley and Ellie on his fireplace, and he's framed a picture he took of the four of us on our visit to the park when he first met them. There's one of me and him together the night we went to the theatre it's a lovely picture I look at myself and I look so happy I'm not sure I've ever seen me look like this before. All this, it made me feel even more a part of his life. I head to the kitchen to see what's keeping him, he's fetching milk from the fridge, he even has the painting on the fridge that Riley had done for him in nursery next to one of Ellie's hand prints.

"Here you go sweetheart" he says popping my mug on the table

"Thanks" I'm nervous all of a sudden.

"Would you like something to eat I can make you a sandwich" he says

"I uh I don't know" I start stuttering and he smiles

"Sweetheart relax please" he says taking me in his arms "We've got all afternoon this is just you and me, just us" he says "don't try and rush it baby" he tells me

"I'm sorry I, I'm just nervous" I tell him

"Me too" he says which makes me feel slightly better

"Now how about some food" he asks and I nod "Just grab what you'd like out of the fridge Lis" he says so I take a few things and we make some sandwiches together as Ben stands behind me at his breakfast bar, it's like something out of some soppy chick flick both of us cutting the bread feeding each other cheese and cherry tomatoes in between kisses and yet it was the happiest I'd ever felt with someone, oh my god I'm so happy.

I dared to imagine for a second how it would be if we lived together if he was there always and my heart skipped. We sit at the breakfast bar eating and cuddling and eating and kissing and you can picture it I'm sure. "How about some pudding my darling" he says to me getting up and heading to the fridge again "I've got some cheesecake if you'd like some"he says

"hmm lovely" I say to him. "Come on we will take it in the living room and sit down I'll light the fire" he says taking my hand. I watch him stoke up the fire getting it going in no time, the smell and the heat is glorious "Come and sit with me Lis" he says patting the rug in front of the fire so I do with no hesitation. He feeds me my dessert just gently smiling at me as he does "all done" he says when I'm finished and he puts the dishes and spoons away just pulling me into him as we both gaze into the flames he nuzzles my neck making me feel weak yet amazing "This is so lovely Lis" he says to me

"hmm it is" I say to him "Your house is stunning Ben" he goes quiet, did I say something wrong?

"It's never really felt like much of a home darling" he says "just a house where I sleep" I feel for him and move to sit closer to him still. "If I'm honest the only place that has felt like home to me is your little flat, with you Riley and Ellie" a lump forms deep in my throat

"what about when you were growing up?" I ask him.

"My mother left when I was eight years old Lis" he begins and I turn to him "She was a bitch to my father a real bully, my father was too much of a gentleman to stand up to her or tell her to fuck off" I'd never heard him use language like that much, he clearly got his manners and gentleness from his father.

"I'm sorry darling" I say putting my hand to his face, he kisses it "you don't have to talk about this if you don't want to"

"You've bared your soul to me sweetheart, I owe you the same" I run my fingers through his wavy hair causing him to breathe a heavy sigh.

"Tell me" I urge him.

"My mother used to beat me, sometimes for no real reason, she would bring men home when my father was away on service, he was in the army you see" his voice is shaky "they would happily knock me about too she didn't care"

"You remember Humphrey my teddy bear" his eyes are watering "well my Dad gave him to me when I was two and I used to cuddle him when I got scared and alone" tears ran down my cheeks my poor poor Ben. I wipe his tears and kiss him on the forehead.

"I married Wendy because she fell pregnant, I didn't really love her, not how I love you" I smile at him "I didn't want a child of mine going through pain or hardship like I did so was determined to do the right thing" I gently squeeze him so he knows it's alright.

"Wendy had a miscarriage or so she told me while I was away with work, I found out later that she'd had an abortion as she'd used the pregnancy to trap me, she knew I'd marry her and she wanted money". I couldn't believe what I was hearing how could anyone do that to him. I hated this woman and I'd never even met her. His eyes are sad and he looks at me "She killed my child" he says causing a shooting pain in my heart.

"Oh Ben" I whisper to him.

"By the time I found out she was already having an affair with one of the teachers I worked with, I kicked her out and filed for divorce.

"Sweetie" I say and he looks at me his beautiful eyes reach deep into me. We say nothing, we didn't need to. I move around to face him wrapping my legs around him and kiss him with a hunger I could no longer control to which he responds, the kiss deepens and deepens but it's not enough.

We are both gasping for air, Ben takes my face in his hands "Tell me what you want Sweetheart, tell me" my heart races I place my hands on his face creating a mirror image in ourselves

"Make love to me Ben, I want you to make love to me show me what it's really like" I say to him

"You really want to sweetheart" he says

"don't you want to?" I ask him fearing he has changed his mind

"my darling I'm aching for you like you have no idea" he smiles and I smile back.

"Then take me to bed god damn it" I say We stand up and he scoops me up and carries me towards his bedroom, we have laid ourselves bare to each other now I wanted to give myself to him completely and utterly.