Sing For Me

Papers and Pyjamas

The Weekend couldn't have gone any better, it was lovely to see Dad and I was so pleased with the bond that him and Ben had formed it meant everything to me that the two most important men in my life liked one another.

He had left around teatime to head back to Wales, Riley was sad to see him go but soon consoled himself with all the toys Pops had bought him from the shop while me and Ben were skating including a Yeoman warders outfit which he did look very smart in. Ellie was happy with her soft Tudor Dolly, it was the favourite to go to bed with that night. Riley had refused to take his outfit off but as Ben said it was his birthday weekend.

I sat in the bathroom brushing my teeth thinking about Ben's Christmas present. December was fast approaching, what could I give him. It needed to be something that meant the world to him as he did to me. My thoughts are taken back to the afternoon at his house and what he'd said 

"It doesn't feel like a real home Sweetheart, just somewhere where I sleep" 

 What if he came to live with us permanently, he practically was already, but we could be a proper family the thought bubbled away in my head and made me smile.

I head to the bedroom and Ben is sat up on the bed doing some marking for college, he's wearing his glasses i'm tignling at the sight of him. His pyjama top is fitting showing off his chest and that tiny little bit of cuddliness that's his tummy. He's nearly forty and yet his body says otherwise his arms are strong and toned as are his legs and his bum, yes I did just say that, he's pert in all the right places. I've never seen anything like him, but is this the first time that I am appreciating a man. Any thoughts of any until now were not of desire, of wanting, it was of fear. A man's body had been used against me not something that I could crave. 

As a young girl I'd never had the crushes, the first loves. I was dragged away by him. He wasn't first love material, he was rough and ready. His brother would have been more suited, gentler, kinder but this was forbidden like so many other things. What if i'd listened, what if I'd been brave enough, it was all too late. 

Ben still hasn't spotted me in the door way taking him in. I want to jump on the bed and straddle him, to feel him against me, to have him fill me. Jesus If he knew what I was thinking.

I walk over to the bed and sit up next to him "Have you got much to do Sweetie?" I question 

"No just two more compositions" he answers  "I won't be long" he turns his attention back to his papers, the top of his nose wrinkles when he concentrates its adorable. I pick up my kindle from the bedside table pretending to read but my eyes can't seem to remain fixed on the words, he's humming along to the composition he's marking the deepness of his voice does something to me and I feel myself becoming restless.

"Oh I was going to ask you sweetheart" he begins completely unaware of what he is doing to me "It's the carol concert at the college on the second of December I'll be conducting my students I'd love for you to come and hear it" he says

 "I'd love to, I will see if Mike can babysit, so I get to meet all your colleagues then?"

"You will, they know all about you already though" I knew this from what the receptionist had told me when I first went there. I carry on pretending to read getting more restless by the minute but I don't want to disturb him.

He finally finishes and puts down his pen. "All done" I check and he nods at me. I gather up his papers and place them on the floor. I gingerly move towards him my heart pumping like crazy and straddle him, he wraps his arms around me 

"Well hello there pretty girl" he says, he raises his hand to take off his glasses and I stop him 

"Oh no you can leave those on" I instruct feeling a little naughty and he grins. I lean forward and kiss him gently on the cheek before running even gentler ones up his jaw to his ear blowing gently into it making him laugh. I take his face in my hands and kiss him full on the lips feeling his soft breath on mine as I pull away. His skin is still fresh from his shower giving off a scent of blackberry and ginger, his face is clean shaven as I use the tip of my nose to take in his smoothness. 

He made me want to make the first move but my reluctance still fought a fierce battle within me. He never rushed me and certainly never forced me, yet I could see in his eyes he loved it when I showed him how I wanted him. I love to feel him beneath my fingertips and the little sighs he gives in response.

Kisses mingle with hushed whispers "My brave girl" he speaks softly into my ear "My beautiful blossoming flower" his notes of encouragement sing to me as he places his hand underneath my vest running his finger down my spine, so subtle, he's barely touching me which does more than he can know. It's as though my body convulses, I fling myself back still safe in his grasp. I feel my vest rise as the air hits my midriff then I'm taken back by the sensation of Ben's lips against me, He dips his tongue into my navel sending a pulsing shock to my button like a bee scooping its nectar, I was as he said his flower. Jesus I want him. He lifts me up and I press myself against him feeling the physical sign of his desire for me.

I lift my top over my head baring myself to him causing my breathing to accelerate to which he follows. He smiles at me puling my bobble from my hair setting it free. I feel the dampness of it rub against my cheeks. Ben places his hand in it running his fingers through it "Your hair is so gorgeous when it's damp my darling" he tells me as he kisses me once again "So soft, so curly" he likes it despite the crazy frizzy mess it was after my shower 

"But sweetie it's wild" I say with a grin as our kisses continue 

"No baby it isn't I love it" he says nibbling on my bottom lip "So so pretty" he says as his kisses lower to my breasts, my sweet naive mind still goes crazy when he does this to me, I'm like a girl, He knows where and how to touch me like we have known each other forever. He takes off his T shirt and pulls me close the meeting of my tightening breasts against his bare chest hightens my excitement  "My beautiful Lissy" he whispers in my ear driving me quite mad. 

"Take your knickers off baby" he asks as I kneel up to give myself the room to take them off. I watch him pull down his pyjama bottoms in time with me. "Come here" he whispers. Im straddled over him once more before he guides me down onto him both sighing in acceptance of our togetherness. 

I move slowly up and down gently with his hands on my hips guiding me pushing towards that spot that he knows will take me over the edge. We move together slowly and sweetly it's almost unbearable, every stroke taking me just that little bit closer but not close enough. Again and again until beads of sweat run over both of us. My need to be close to Ben is so great and he never lets me go. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined how wonderful being with a man could be. I know I appeared to be so innocent in how I responded to it but Ben wanted me to feel it. He said I had been denied my own sexual awakening, it being stolen from me and the act itself forced violently upon me. I was overwhelmed by my body's own reactions when we made love, Ben sensed this and used our closeness to protect me.

"Lissy sweetheart let it come" he says to me moving me a little faster, taking control he was the conductor of this symphony of ours, he knew how to hold me knew the places to touch to heighten the sensation as that throbbing vibrated through my veins "Come for me Sweetheart" he whispers and as always his words cause me to explode around him with his name on my lips and he soon follows.

I lie against him and I want to be just here in his arms in our home with our little family................