Sing For Me

My Family My Children

Ben's Point of View

"We're having a baby my darling" I tell her, cant believe I'm saying it. Lisa is shaking but smiling at me, she's happy yet scared. How can I take this fear away from her.

"Your going to be a Daddy" she says to me I look at her, I adore her.

"Are you happy Sweetheart?" I ask hoping she will let out her worries to me 

"I am really" she says however I feel a but coming. She puts her head down looking at her hands "I'm just a little bit frightened really" she tells me.

"Sweetheart you mustn't be, it's going to be fine" I take her hands. 

"You won't leave me will you" she asks still haunted by the way he treated her. 

"I could never leave you" I tell her "I'm here sweetheart, for every second I promise" she smiles and seems to relax a little. I place my hand on her tummy and she holds it there "Every appointment, scan, all of it I'll be there"

"You will be there when it's born too?" she begs 

"I'll be there to hold your hand all the way" I reassure her.

"I love you" she says 

"And I love you, both of you" and I do more than she can know.

We spent the rest of the day as a family, I'd popped out to get her some ginger tea to help with her sickness. Everything was set ready for Christmas day, we would go out for lunch I'd booked it weeks ago to give Lisa a break after working so hard she needed it now more than ever.

Riley and Ellie were so excited they could barely eat their supper. With Father Christmas' treats put out they head off to bed.

I come back to the living room and Lisa is going through the post that had come that morning. Christmas cards mainly from Lisa's family in Wales

"This is Dads writing" she says "What's he sending now we've had all his presents" there's a note in the envelope with another envelope inside she gives me the note

Hey babe

Someone put this through the door for the kids so thought I'd send it on in time for Christmas

Love you

Dad

Lisa takes the envelope out I see her freeze and she goes pale "Sweetheart what is it?" I ask she opens it frantically and pulls out a card she gasps, drops it and puts her hand to her mouth she's trembling "Darling?" I pick the card up and look at it, it has Riley and Ellie's name on the front I get a sick feeling in my stomach. I open it and inside it reads

To Riley and Ellie

Merry Christmas

Love from Daddy

Daddy it's from him...........Matt

Lisa starts crying and getting hysterical "Why, why can't he leave us alone, what does he want?" I try and grab her to calm her "Ben please, please don't let him find us please I beg you"

"Sweetheart, sweetheart listen to me he's not going to find you I won't let him anywhere near you or the children"

I desperately try to soothe her telling she needs to be calm for herself and the baby. The nerve of the absolute bastard eats at me, my need to protect her, protect them all is stronger than it's ever been. I encourage her to call her Dad and see if he knows more, he told her that it had been put through the door while he was at work, he tries to reassure her that it could be his parents that sent it and that if he took it there then he doesn't know where she and the children are living. All his parents knew was that she'd moved to London but didn't have an address, her old workmates had been told she had changed stores but not which one and she didn't give out her address except to her family and those she really trusted.

Lisa's dad asked to speak to me "Burn it Ben just burn the bloody thing and forget he sent it" I agreed with him. He told me to take care of her and just enjoy Christmas and our time away. We told him about the baby but to keep it quiet for now, he was thrilled he'd told Lisa that she had a real family now and to forget him.

It took time after she'd spoken to her Dad but she did settle down I made her feel safe, locked the flat up took the phone off the hook whatever it took to settle her. I used the gas lighter from the kitchen to burn the card like it had never existed.

We both undressed and lay on the sofa watching the midnight carol service after putting the children's presents out and sneaking in their room to put their stockings by their beds. I was determined to make it perfect and it seemed to be working. I would do anything for them all, my family, they were mine now not his, Lisa was mine, my girl, the mother of my child, my children.