Sing For Me

The whispers in the morning

"Daddy is that our air plane" Riley asks jumping up and down. 

"It is matey" Ben tells him not really looking at the plane much 

"Woo Hoo" he shouts he was so excited we hadn't told him and Ellie about Disneyland we wanted to surprise them. We would spend half the week at Dads then half at Disneyland before heading back to the rat race. Plus we were booked in for our gender scan when we got back Ben was so excited, he always said he didn't have a preference but he must have surely.

"You're going to love Dad's place sweetheart" he tells me, painting a picture of the lovely house he had, like Ben he had worked hard for what he had. "He's got an indoor pool and a hot tub out on his balcony that overlooks the sea" it sounds amazing "So I get to see you In a bikini for the first time darling" he whispers in my ear causing me to go quiet he looks at me "What darling?" I look at him 

"I don't have a bikini sweetie" he seems astounded 

"Why not?" he asks I can't tell him just another of those stupid things again he lifts my chin "Tell me" like I have an option I can't lie to those beautiful eyes 

"I don't feel comfortable in them, the only time I did wear one I was told I looked fat" he sighs 

"And I bet I can guess who told you that" he says with a slight anger in his tone 

"It's not just that sweetie it's everyone seeing me like that" he smiles 

"After the things you've worn for me sweetheart" he points out 

"But that's me and you I feel safe with you that you won't make fun of me besides I hardly have he figure for one now" I tell him 

"Well you can wear one just for me then, because I think your bump is just gorgeous" he says and he drags me off to the duty free shop, while the kids stay with Dad and Gran "We can start our holiday by breaking another wall Lissy" and we come to a shop selling bikinis and swimwear he can see I'm uneasy "Go ahead sweetheart take a look" he says gently pushing the small of my back there are some lovely ones in there I notice some sixties style ones that have bottoms that would cover my bump a little. I spot a blue and white check one with bows on the top with a mock lace I pick it up to have a look Ben just leaving me browse but I really like this one "I think that one too darling" he says knowing I like it. he takes it from me and we head for the till I get out my purse which he takes out of my hand not letting me pay just smiling, he even carries the bag "there that's another tick on the list" he goes to me.

We head back to the kids who are having a drink "here you go you two we got you a coffee" Dad says and we sit down. I fidget in my chair a bit and Ben sees it 

"Baby moving again sweetheart" he says rubbing my tummy. 

"Yeah doing a proper jig in there today" I tell him as he keeps his hand there feeling the tiny little bumps and grinning with pride 

"Can you feel the baby already can you lovey" Gran goes to Ben 

"Yeah it's amazing Gran" he tells her and she looks at him with such love so proud knowing that this is all he's ever wanted and because of that I will not deny him a second.

The call comes for our flight and my once confident and bubbly Ben is suddenly quiet and edgy I say nothing but there's something up. Riley starts getting all excited about going on the plane We head to our gate and are called early because we have the Children. 

"Come on mummy" Riley starts shouting. 

"I'm coming darling" I say I look at Ben and he's gone pale "Sweetie are you OK" I ask him