Sing For Me

Are you ready Babe?

I sit looking at my reflection in the mirror longer than I usually do my fear of them is slowly slipping thanks to Ben. Today was the day Our wedding Day it was surreal really I couldn't take it in I was afraid that today would slip by without me noticing. I wanted to feel it, feel every bit, the nerves,the butterflies they had to come today, the love, the love I had for Ben that was so strong sometimes it hurt me.

I feel queasy but I'm unsure if that is everything or just our little jelly bean letting us know that she's there or he. Ben had gone with his Dad, My Dad and Riley to stay at the pub for the night all the boys together Ben didn't want to tempt fate by us spending last night together as much as he wanted to. He text me before I went to sleep

My heart is pounding at the thought of seeing you in your dress tomorrow, My arms feel redundant without you there to hold, dream of me as I will of you

Goodnight Sweetheart

I Love you

Ben xx

Oh you can tell he's a man of music his words are magic how have I ended up with him I'm lucky if I can string two words together especially at the moment.

It was lonely in the bed without him, He had been there every night and morning for what felt like forever I had grown so used to having him there, grown accustomed to his little ways the way he'd kiss me every night before turning off the light, even his little snore was cute but should it ever become more I would probably have to hit him over the head with a pillow bless him, he'd hum in his sleep sometimes too, which was funny it would make me giggle, sometimes he'd wake when I'd laugh and wonder what the hell I was doing.

My dress hangs up on the wardrobe door, it's so beautiful, just what i'd have picked really, a simple floor length ivory gown that crossed across my heart, with a sweetheart neck line and tiny straps. If fitted so perfectly Gran had remembered my size from when we went shopping. I had a little gold sunflower that clipped into my hair which was half up half down Ben's favourite I also had tiny sunflowers embroidered along the bottom of a small shoulder length veil, a flash back to my sunflowers that Ben had sent me when we first met. I was amazed at how they'd all managed to organize all this so quickly but got it so perfect.

"How are we doing lovey?" asks Gran as she walks in all dressed up ready to go 

"Oh Gran you look lovely" I tell her and she does for a woman of seventy seven she looked amazing in a sky blue dress and jacket with a matching fascinator complimenting her white blonde curls. 

"Well we aim to please" she jokes 

"Is Ellie OK? I ask 

"Yes she's just getting her dress on with Aunty May, she is going to look adorable" I smile at her having not yet seen what Ellie would be wearing 

"Just as you are cherub" she says coming to look at me through the dressing table mirror. She can sense that I'm nervous. "Shall we pop the dress on" I nod at her I can feel the dear butterflies rising up to make themselves known.

Gran helps me into my dress and turns me around to the mirror she's brought in from her bedroom a full length one reminding me of the last time I stood in front of one of these making me blush slightly sending tingles through me. "Oh Lisa lovey, you are a picture" Gran starts crying of course and I follow "Oh god your mascara lovey" she shouts causing us both the have a fit of the giggles I sit back down at the dressing table and fix my face Gran pulls up a chair and sits next to me "Thank you Lisa" she says 

"What for?" I question 

"For making my boy so very happy" I tell her that it was him that made me happy, he had done all the work all the loving and the caring. "You have loved him as much as he's loved you, you even put up with his obsessive fussing and his mothering" mothering being the word, loving me like he never was which was so sad but so wonderful that after everything they had all done to him he could still be this amazing, sweet and gentle man.