Sing For Me

You Never Broke Your Promise

"Darling she is so very beautiful just like you" Ben tells me 

"I think she looks like you" I tell him he smiles 

"Oh you poor little thing" he says laughing. I'd managed to get out of the pool once Freja was born for the last bit it was all new to me I hadn't had this with Riley or Ellie I'd been able to experience all of it this time all with Ben's support, the pool had been amazing, as hard as it was it was how I wanted it, I'd done it, I'd really done it. My final stage had been nothing like the rest it was painful but Ben had kept me relaxed holding my hand when I needed him "Would you like to cut the cord Ben" Harry had asked him  and he did which made me smile, freeing his daughter in to the world and had then been weirdly fascinated by my placenta, I know but you know him, there was something quite wondrous about it this is what had fed my little darling all these months, how everything had happened, nature was an amazing thing I had never really taken it in before, but Ben opened my eyes to everything around me. A mad, crazy gorgeous, pleasurable moment on the sofa of our flat had created this our little girl, I loved her so very much as I did Riley and Ellie, she was Ben's his flesh and blood, the man who had taken me and blown every single of my senses.

Harry told me that I needed some stitches my scar from when I had Ellie had torn nice I know, until now I hadn't let go of Freja Harry had told me to keep her close but I felt guilty I wanted Ben to hold her, but he never complained in fact he'd done nothing but smile, blub and take pictures on his phone for the last half an hour since she'd been born, constantly looking at her and kissing me telling me how well I'd done and how much he loved me, his love was boundless, I may have done it but I couldn't have managed it without him, there were so many points that I could have given up but he kept me pushing through,  his encouragement made me want to do it for him, I really don't think he realizes what it was to have him here.

"Sweetie would you like to hold her" I ask him as Harry gets ready to see to me I can see he desperately wants to now 

"Not if you want her darling" he says 

"No I want you to hold her baby, please take her she wants a cuddle with her Daddy" I tell him and he wells up again, as he takes our little tiny bundle from me, the look in his eyes that enormous pride, this was everything he had ever wanted and I had given that to him, I felt proud of that. Once he has her in his arms I think it all finally hits him everything just hits him and he sits on the bed next to me and buries his head in my shoulder and cries his heart out. 

"Baby its OK" I whisper in his ear "Please don't cry" I say 

"I'm sorry Lis" he says I lift his head up wipe his tears 

"It's fine it's all fine darling" I tell him, I look down and Freja is fixed on him 

"Look Ben she's looking at you, she knows who you are" I say to him, he sniffs and rubs his eyes 

"Hello my sweet baby girl" he says smiling at her he places his finger in her palm and she grips it he looks at me amazed "Did you see that sweetheart" he laughs his face so happy.

"Lis shall we get you sorted out then I can leave you have some time alone together" Harry says he walks up to Ben "Hey Miss Freja, you certainly made poor Mummy work for it didn't you hey" he says smiling 

"She is more than worth it" I say to him 

"Looking good there Dad" he says to Ben 

"Suits you, something tells me I'll be delivering more babies of yours in the future" I laugh 

"Ask me when the memory of the pain has faded a bit" I say and Ben laughs 

"Will have to go with the boss on this one Harry" Ben tells him.