Sing For Me

C'est Une Fille

I couldn't believe how beautiful it was here I felt so much at peace Ben liked this "It's lovely to see you so relaxed sweetheart" he said as we sat on the balcony outside our room The weather was warm but not too hot 

"I can see why your dad likes it here" I tell him 

"He bought it when I went away to school a break away from all the bad he knew I was safe and happy being in London, where we lived back in Yorkshire just made him feel guilty because he thought it was his fault" I felt sorry for him and Ben, his eyes were sad 

"It wasn't anyone's fault but hers darling really" I say stroking his cheek 

"Anyway Dad wants to show you round do you feel up to a trip sweetheart?" he asks 

"If I've got a strong hunky man to guide me" I tease 

"Well I don't know about that but you've got me"he says fishing for compliments 

"You are my strong hunky old softy remember" I say 

"Oh yeah" and he kisses me rubbing baby bump as he does.

We walk down to the beach to the harbour where dad shows the kids his boats wanting to take us all on a trip up the coast not too far. "Would you like a trip in Grampas boat you two" he asks Riley and Ellie to which they don't have words just screams and cheers. He fits us up with life jackets just in case making fun of me with mine "Hey fatty get this on ya" he teases 

"Thanks dad but can I remind you that it's your sons fault I'm fat" he laughs 

"I don't remember you complaining at the time darling" Ben chirps up him and Dad laughing making me blush 

"Leave the lass alone you two" Gran buts in.

We sit on the deck of the boat Riley and Ellie up the front with their Grampa pretending to be Jake and the neverland pirates giving Ben cause to get up pretending to be Peter Pan the boy who never grew up hmm funny that and Dad playing captain hook. Dad jumps around pretending to sword fight with Ben putting on a voice "I'll get you Peter Pan" he goes his impression spot on and Ben replies 

"Come and get me you cranky crook" the children squealing as they pretend 

"Daddy the tick tock crock is coming" Riley shouts 

"Ah someone wants Captain Hook for breakfast" Ben teases and Dad runs down below pretending to be scared making Gran and I laugh. This game went on for quite some time until the children were worn out. We headed back for them to have a rest

"Why don't you and Lisa go for a walk son" Dad suggests so we head off for a walk along the beach taking our shoes off to feel the sand between our toes and the occasional wave lap over them. I cuddle close to Ben and he wraps his arms round me those were the only arms I had ever felt truly safe it. I start to get tired myself after a while the sea air getting to me 

"Come on you let's go and get a drink" Ben suggests and we find a little cafe near the harbour it is very old fashioned and very French Ben orders for us as my French matches that of a school girl nothing more. We sit holding hands across the table Ben rubbing my knuckles with his thumb like that day he asked me out at the store it always made me tingle.

Then this little old French lady comes into the cafe selling red roses she speaks some English but not much with a strong French accent. "You buy rose for your rose" she asks Ben and he does she looks at me "very beautiful girl" she says 

"Thank you" he replies. She spots my tummy and puts her hand on it taking both Ben and me by surprise 

"Forte bébé en bonne santé" she says running her hand up and down me I grab Ben's hand 

"Sweetie what did she say" I ask Ben getting really freaked out my voice shaky 

"Its OK sweetheart" he says "she said strong healthy baby" I look at her and she smiles at me Ben is smiling too 

"C'est une fille" she says just like that 

"What does that mean?" I ask Ben hes gone quiet and thoughtful "Ben" I say he looks at me 

"She says............she says its a girl" he says looking at me. I don't have a clue what to say I'm just taking it in when she wanders off. 

"Ben I........uh" I say 

"Lets get back Sweetheart you look tired"

We get back to Dads but there's no one at home Ben finds a note on the kitchen table "Dad and Gran have taken the kids for ice cream after Ellie had her nap" The word nap makes me yawn "Go and have a lie down Lis" he tells me 

"Only if you come with me" I say to him somehow that woman has got me made me nervous 

"OK come on" We go and lie on the bed Ben opening the doors like he did last night "Can I get you anything sweetheart?" He asks 

"I'm OK I'm just tired and my feet ache from walking" he pulls my pumps off taking my little feet in his hands massaging the soles I can't help but moan from the relief it gives he runs his finger down the middle of my foot making me giggle from how it tickles he laughs and does it a bit more "Stop it Ben" I laugh but he doesn't I'm now laughing helpless "Stop it please" I beg. 

"OK darling I'm sorry, but I just love to see you laugh and smile" smooth words again "We haven't really done much of that these last few weeks" he says 

"We have darling it was just some things got in the way" I tell him he bows his head he's got that look again that guilt still there. "Sweetie this isn't your fault and I wont have you blaming yourself anymore do you hear me Benjamin?" I say making him smile slightly 

"Darling it just frightens me I so want you both to be safe" he says circling my bump with his finger. 

"We will be Ben" I tell him 

"Everything that's ever happened to me nothing frightened me more than that day in the ambulance" he starts to cry a little sniffing trying to keep it back "I couldn't wake you up I was calling you but you didn't wake up, I was terrified I'd lose you" I look at him 

"But it wasn't that serious baby" I reassure him "I know now but then I didn't I'd thought Id lose you and the baby" I take his hand open it and place it on my bump.

"We're here darling both of us" he just looks at my tummy running his hand over it

"Can she hear me?" he asks I don't say anything just let it be. 

"Yeah" I tell him he bends his head down to my tummy 

"Hello little one" he says my crazy Mummy hormones kicking in. 

"I'm your Daddy and I can't wait to meet you" my heart swells "You just be kind to Mummy when the time comes yeah, she's a bit nervous you see" bless him. "Your Daddy is a bit of an old softy but he loves you very much and he loves your mummy too, you have the loveliest mummy in the world you know" I have tears flowing now, 

"Oh sweetie" I say looking at him "So do you think that old lady was right, do you think its a girl?" He smiles 

"I'm almost afraid to say, but yeah I think we've got ourselves a little girl in there" he says and I stare at him

"Well next week we will find out won't we" I say, he smiles 

"We can find out now, hey baby if you're a little mister give mummy a little poke" he says holding his hand there, but there's nothing "and if you're a little miss" he says again this is crazy then all of a sudden there is it a tiny little kick we both look at each other "Well that's it sweetheart" he says leaning up to me for a kiss

"You're mad" I say giggling 

"Yeah but you love me" he goes before placing his lips over mine. Oh Yes I love him as much as my heart can stand. I love him and her, God I'm at it now, I love them both.