Sing For Me

The Moment of Truth

Our holiday could not have been any better than that, the children had had a wonderful time, Dad and Gran and My Dad all enjoying themselves and Ben and I had grown even closer still as if this was possible. I couldn't help but think about what the little old lady in the cafe said as I got ready for us to go for our gender scan. Ben was so excited he'd been ready and dressed since about six thirty this morning and our appointment wasn't until nine o clock.

We had started packing up the flat as the house was now ready for us to move into at least there was still plenty that needed doing. I wasn't sure how much use I was going to be this baby was getting bigger every day I don't remember being this big with Riley and Ellie but it didn't help that I was living on my nerves and in constant fear from a husband who drove me into the ground. It was so different this time, Ben indulged me spoiled me rotten, back massages, foot rubs, hot baths anything I wanted he was such a darling and was so excited. Time had gone so quickly I was already six months pregnant over half way there. My sickness has stopped which is great but my back and my legs ache this baby is constantly on the move.

"Sweetheart are you ready we don't want to be late" Ben says coming into the bedroom catching me with my t shirt up looking at my bump in the mirror he smiles when he sees me. He comes up behind me placing his hands on my bump and looks at me through the mirror. "I love you Mummy" he says to me 

"I love you Daddy" I reply

 "You look so gorgeous you know that don't you" for the first time in my life I believe him I look at him 

"Yeah I do don't I sweetie" he looks pleasantly surprised "I love it, I feel so different Ben for the first time ever I just feel pretty" I tell him going shy thinking I sound silly

"Oh my darling you are and do you have any idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that" he tells me he's got tears in his eyes. 

"And its all down to you sweetie" I tell him "Your love has made me feel like I'm the only girl in the world even through everything when I wake up in the morning and look at you I know I can face anything that I'm worth something" he comes round to my front and looks into my eyes 

"I'd do it all again darling every single thing, just to show you how precious you are" He goes to hug me but its clumsy because of my bump making us smile. "Come on we need to get going"

We go to leave the flat "Where are Dad and Gran?" I ask him 

"Dads started taking stuff to the house after he dropped the kids off and Gran said she had some shopping to do apparently" he looks at me suspiciously 

"What is she up to" I wonder 

"Best not to ask I think, come on we need to go. We arrive at the hospital and head to the waiting area Ben is practically bouncing. I get a sharp pain in my chest making me wince 

"Are you OK Lis" he asks 

"Yeah just heartburn sweetie it seems to be getting worse lately" he smiles 

"Perhaps I should try winding you, get some practice in" he says tapping me on the back making me laugh.

We look towards the entrance where paramedics are bringing in a mother clearly in labour who's screaming her head off, its suddenly brings it all back when I had Ellie and I feel myself panicking all those fears coming to me all at once the loneliness I felt the agony. Ben can see what its doing to me 

"Ben" I start to sob 

"Sweetheart its OK come here" I cant help it I just sob uncontrollably 

"You'll be fine my darling, you'll both be fine" I don't notice Harry coming out of his room 

"Hey everything OK Lisa" he asks and Ben explains what's just happened. "Come on honey lets get you in here" and we head into his room. We sit down and he offers me a tissue. "Just take a minute or two and relax" he says easier said than done. He brings me a glass of water "Lisa I understand how hard this must be for you, you had an awful time when you had your daughter everything that could go wrong did, but its very rare for that to happen twice" he tells me 

"Listen to him Lis" Ben says. 

"Look I know we are not due to discuss it yet but have you thought about the birth you'd like this time at all" I look at Ben 

"Tell him darling" he says but I cant think straight now Ben takes over 

"We had a chat about it and Lisa had thought about a water birth this time to see if that would help" he tells Harry he smiles and looks at me 

"That's great, I've done many water births and they are very relaxing it can be a great experience for Mum and is especially calming for baby" this perks me up a little. 

"Lisa if this is what you'd like then I will be more than happy for us to go ahead" he says trying to encourage me 

"Yeah I would like it I'm sorry, I just......." 

"Don't be sorry honey that's what we are here for, I wont lie, you know giving birth is hard work but I think together you me and Ben can make this special for you" I look at Ben and he's smiling at me and I just nod to say I've taken it in.

"Right so are we going to see what it is I'll be delivering then" he says "Pop yourself on the bed Lisa you know the drill by now" I go and lie down and Ben comes to sit next to me "Look at this lovely bump" he says just having a feel to see how things are "Good size baby Lis, well done you're feeding this one well" I smile well I cant deny that. He rubs the cold jelly on me I hate that bit and runs the scanner over me "OK little one are you going to be good for Harry and show us" he says as we see baby come up on the screen 

"My gosh its so different from last time" Ben's says he's in awe

"I can do it in 3D for you too if you like" Harry asks we agree and he changes the screen, it's amazing "There we go that's a good girl" Harry says making us both look at him "Yep, you've got a little lady here guys" he says Ben's eyes are full as a tear falls down his cheek he's crying and laughing at the same time 

"A little girl" he says 

"I know" I say crying too now. 

"The old lady was right" he says Harry looks at us confused "And Gran was she'll never let us live that down" the scan is so clear 

"Look at her little face Ben" 

"Well time to start thinking of some names now then guys" Harry says I look at Ben we hadn't thought about that.

Harry prints us out some pictures to take home of our daughter, our daughter. Ben is so happy he hasn't stopped smiling yet. "Right well I'll see you for your next appointment Lisa, take care of yourself and little miss in there" he advises me 

"I will, thanks Harry" I say Ben shakes his hand 

"Thanks Harry" he says 

"My pleasure see you soon"

We walk through the corridor towards the reception. Ben is still smiling we hold hands as we head to the car. We haven't actually said anything yet. Ben helps me in my seat and helps put my belt on still not speaking, as he walks round to get in I rub my tummy and smile. Ben gets in and turns in his seat to face me we still don't have any words we just laugh as he leans forward and kisses me for ages he does pull a way for a moment "A little girl" he says before we smile and kiss some more. A Little Miss Langley.