Sing For Me

Back where we belong

"Lisa are you here lovey" I hear Gran shouting as they arrive back they've been gone ages not that I object as I was happy for the space to play as it were, I'm still buzzing from what Ben did, I think of him stuck in the little cupboard at the back of his classroom all secretive and naughty. 

"In here Gran" I shout coming out of the bedroom all freshened up after my shower. 

"Darling are you OK you look awful flushed" oh my god I cant even conceal it "

I'm fine honest just come out of a hot shower" trying to hide my face. 

"Where have you been I was getting worried" I tell them, 

"Oh just a little pest control lovey" I have no idea what that means so I'm not going to ask 

"Did the kids gets off OK" I ask 

"They were fine love all smiles and waves as they went in" Dad tells me they head into the kitchen 

"Oh what a lovely sunflower" Gran says picking up the card and just smiling at me "Just the one" I have got to be blood red by now and my temperature has shot through the roof 

"Yeah just the one I'll pop it in our bedroom I think more light in there" I say grabbing a vase and taking the flower, the card and my ridiculously red face with me. I grab some water from the en suite and place the vase on my side of the bed propping the card up against it. Remembering as it ordered me to.

"Cup of tea in here Lis, come on cherub" Gran calls as I head back into the living room curling up on the sofa that me and Ben always sit at, we have two big sofas but never sit separately always curled up on the corner of the one, cosy, safe. I hear the door go probably the postman this was his time. Dad runs to get it. 

"Here you go love" he says handing the letters to me there's loads today for some reason. Confirmation of our place on the ante natal classes that Ben booked, I'd never been to them when I had Riley and Ellie they didn't really do them where I lived it being just a small welsh seaside town, plus Matt would never have come with me. A letter from the estate agents that Ben's house was on the market with, ooh has it sold I wonder I don't like to open it 

"Why the devil not" Gran asked 

"Well its Ben's business" I tell her 

"And are you not Mrs Ben" she says that makes me laugh Mrs Ben 

"Oh I don't know" I say and before I can take a breath she's taken the letter off me and opened it 

"Here tell him I did it" Dad is laughing. I read it he's received an offer on the house the buyers are willing to offer an extra twenty thousand pounds as they deem it to be perfect, it was a lovely house in Black-heath that Ben had worked hard for but Ben had never felt at home there, he felt happier in our tiny little flat, I'd been able to get it as Matt's parents gave me money when we divorced probably buying my silence, their hand out paid for my haven and my saved money was for us to live on, not that id delved into it much once I was working and Ben came along. There were some baby catalogues again in Ben's name that he had sent for without telling me and swatches for nursery wallpaper and paint.

There was a big envelope which Dad had to sign for with a travel agents logo on it "And there's this" he says It has Ben'd name on it but Dad clearly knows what its about. I open it and inside are plane tickets to Nice where Dad lives for all of us Gran included "Well I figured after everything we could all do with a break and a bit of sun" I notice they are booked for the Easter holidays so Ben would be off college, but flying with the baby would it be OK. There's another envelope inside I open this and inside are tickets to Disneyland Paris for us to take the children I'm a bit overwhelmed and tear up. "Ben wanted to say sorry for everything his mother had done to you love" but it wasn't his fault "You deserve it and the kiddies will love it" it's wonderful just what we need I think to myself but I wont have Ben feeling he owes me anything, not because of her.