In The Darkest of Times (CaptainSwan)

Finding Out

Emma's Pov

One Month After The End Of Season 6

I just sit there leaning against the bathroom door. It was late Thursday night. I had just sat on the tile floor for a good twenty minutes. Killian must be worried. He knocks on the door a few moments later.

"Swan, you ok?" His concern bleeds through the door, "Emma?"

"Ya I ... I am just not feeling well."

"Hey .... Why don't you come out here with me. You can come out cuddle with me and maybe that will help you feel better."

A few moments pass. I stand up and look into the mirror. I am pale and my hands are shaking just a little bit.

"Swan please," Killian pleads from the other side of the door.

In response I unlock the door and lean on the doorframe.

"Oh, love you look terrible," he comes up to me, wrapping his arms around me.

I just nuzzle my head into his chest and his arms envelope around my.

"You know there's always rum. It will be sure to take the edge off."

I scoff at my husband.

"Is rum your solution to everything?"

"Well it never hurts," he reaches towards the back of his jacket to grab his flask, but I grab his hand to stop him.

"I think I'll just cash those cuddles in."

"As you wish," he says gently, taking my hand and interacting our fingers.

He carries me bridal style to our bed. Then he lays me down. He sits on the edge of the bed and moves the loose hairs out of my face. I stay almost completely silent, not feeling quite myself, my mind other places.

"Love, maybe you should miss work tomorrow," he says brushing his fingers through my blonde locks.

He could tell I didn't want to talk, but he just wants to make sure I was ok. He plants his hand on the other side of me, looking over me with concern. I just shrug. He kisses me on the cheek and climbs into the other side of the bed, not fully reassured. He wraps his arms around my waist and nuzzles his nose into my neck. His breath is hot against my neck.

"I love you Emma, and I just want to make sure you are ok," he whispers into the quiet bedroom.

I lay my arms on top of his, interlacing our fingers once again, giving his some sort of relief, but not much. Truly my mind was racing and when I panic I pull away from Killian. I am trying not to, but I can't seem to calm my mind.

------------------

It was four in the morning and Killian was still asleep. I carefully climbed out of our bed, trying not to wake him. I held my hand to my stomach. I still wasn't feeling that great.

I went into our bathroom and brushed my hair and teeth. Then I went downstairs and watched tv. Anything to distract my mind from my unpleasant thoughts.

---------------

Later That Morning (6 O'Clock)

"Listen Regina I checked this morning and well..... Ya. I just didn't want to check it while.... You know, Killian was around because between The Black Fairy and The Final Battle we never got around to talking about it. I don't even know if he wants this."

"I am sure he will be thrilled and I think he should know."

"I know..... I just.... I am scared and he has lived for hundreds of years, what if he doesn't want this."

"Just tell him. He will understand."

"Regina?"

"Emma, stop putting up those walls of yours. Emma you have been so brave through all the years with all the foes we have faced here in Storybrooke. This should be nothing. I see how Killian looks at you. He wants to spend the rest of his life with you, so just tell him. "

"Ok I will."

Just maybe not yet.

Killian walks down the stairs. His hair still ruffled from his night's sleep. His fingers brush through his hair trying to tame it's wild locks, and may I say I find it quite attractive.

"Ok Regina got to go."

"K, I will call you later."

"K, bye."

I hang up the phone and smile at Killian.