In The Darkest of Times (CaptainSwan)

Mother's Worry

Killian's Pov

Emma and I walk out of the hospital hand in hand. She is rambling about everything Whale told us about the baby: what appointments need to be set up and what restrictions Emma had to follow since she was pregnant. He basically just gave us a thirty minute crash course on what to expect now that we were expecting. I try to listen to Emma, but I space out since she is pretty much talking to herself.

"Emma, love," I say as we arrive at our car, "Let me drive home."

"What? Absolutely not."

"Listen David's been teaching me when you have a long day at work. I have gotten pretty good. You forget that I captain a pirate ship. You seem to have a lot on your mind, with the doctors appointment and everything. And I am going to need to learn to drive in the next nine months, because I doubt you will be able to drive when you are in labor. And you also forget that I won't be ticketed by the police because you and David are the police."

"Fine," she says humoring me, "But at the slightest wrong maneuver, and I am taking over and driving."

"Understood, but stop stressing. All the good news I needed to hear today was that our baby is perfectly healthy. Okay," she nods, but I knew in her head she was stressing enough to drive the both of us crazy, "Now get into the car," I say while opening the passenger door for her to get in.

We get in the car and I start to drive. It is easy to drive around Storybrooke. It was supposed to be a surprise that David was teaching me to drive, but she needed it. She is overstressing way too much and I knew I could hardly do anything about it. It is one of the first things I learned after we were married. I can calm her only so much at times like these. Especially when it involved one of her children or her family. I can't just get rid of her worries.

It feels so natural to say it. To say that we are pregnant. With any other woman it wouldn't have felt right, but with Emma this is all I have ever wanted. A family. I haved lived for so long and done some horrible things, but I wouldn't change a thing. Because if I did I may not be where I am today, with the love of my life.

After living for over two hundred years I was so ready to drop the hit and go act. I needed someone I could depend on. Someone who I could love unconditionally. Someone who loved me back. Someone who would marry me in a heartbeat. Someone who would someday carry my children and together we would raise then to be heroes, like ourselves.

Now I am not saying that Emma and I had an easy relationship where love at first life was real, because we definitely didn't. I will say it time and time again. We fought for our love and we won. There were some bumps along the road, walls. And we may have not started out like the normal fairy tale love story, but we sure ended it like one. Well as Emma would say our happy beginning was like some fairy tale story.

I love tasting her lips every time we kissed. I love smelling her hair every time I dug my nose into her neck. I l love hearing her voice and her laugh. You see my hard times taught me that I really can live. My love for Emma taught me that sometime you lie, because you never want to hurt them. Love also taught me that sometimes it is okay to cry because you never want to lose them or see them hurt. Life taught me that death is a part of all living.

You can never truly live with the fear of death because you can die any second of every day. So forget that you might die, just live with the time that you've got, right now. I would rather spend one day with Emma than living without her for forever. Now that I have met her, I will never be able to go back to my life before, because she is my life.

I will never get bored of watching her laugh. I will never regret the times that I kiss her unexpectedly. I will never be in pain when I am by her side. She gives me the strength to live, because without her I am nothing. She is my smile. My laugh. My courage. My kindness. My hope. My map. My breath. My everything. I know it sounds horribly cliche, but I just don't know what I would do without her.

"Killian?" she asks and it snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Yes, my love?"

"What if something happens?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"What if something happens and I can't save everyone?"

"Emma," I turn to face her quickly before returning my eyes to the road, "What do you mean you can't save everyone?"

"What if someone or something comes and I can't protect our baby and this town? What if something comes? I couldn't let everyone die because I would be risking our baby. I couldn't let my happiness come before people's lives."

I pull over onto the side of the road, knowing she needed to talk and get out whatever was on her mind. I turn to face Emma, meeting her beautiful green eyes with mine.

"Emma, but what if nothing happens and you're worrying about nothing," I reassure her.

"But what if it does. I am the savior. It's my job. Protecting this town. So tell me, Killian. What if I can't save our child. Storybrooke has never been normal. Someone is bound to come sweeping in with intentions to crush our happiness."

"Emma we can't live like that. With fear."

"But how can I not. I already love this child just as much as I love you and Henry. I already can't bear the thought of losing them."

The tears from her eyes start to flow steadily.

"Emma, love please. We can worry about it when the day comes. Let's enjoy the now," I put my palm on top of hers and absentmindedly caress her thumb.

She pulls her hand away.

It is like she grabbed my face and yanked it to face her directly in the eyes, but all she did was pull away her hand. She is pulling away from me again and I couldn't let her.

"Can you secure the safety of our child? That they won't die in the chaos of a battle, especially when magic is involved? Can you? Can you promise me that the villain won't be coming after them? Can you ensure that they won't die? Can you ensure that at least one of those things will never happen?" she practically screams.

There was a moment of silence.

"No," I whisper, wearily glancing at her.

She collapses in her chair, breathing heavily. I knew she is just worried and I pushed her hormones.

"I should have never tried to get pregnant," she whispers, her face landing in the palms of her hands.

"Wait. What are you talking about?" I ask, confused.

100 points for those of you who know the song that this chapter is based off of. (Hint: Look at paragraphs 10-13 ish)

Have a great day!!!!

-pinacolada07