In The Darkest of Times (CaptainSwan)

Kiss And Make Up

Killian's Pov

"Emma?" I breathe only loud enough for her to hear me.

She turns her head, but that was the only response I got.

"Listen I am sorry, love. I messed up. I should have been more patient. I know how easily your put you walls up, and I should have given you some time to process whatever is it that you dreamt of. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

She stays silent. Her eyes drop to the ground.

"Emma?"

She blinks back tears. I walk to her and sit beside her.

"Emma are you okay?"

"I will be fine."

"Emma, love, look at your hands."

Her hands are violently shaking.

I go to grab her hand, but she pulls away.

"Emma?"

She looks away. I grab her hands, not letting her escape my grip this time. I hold her vibrating hand in mine. I caress her thumb, hopping it numbs the fear.

"Emma what is wrong? Are you okay?"

I wait a few moments, letting her take her time to respond.

"No I am not okay. My hands won't stop shaking and I have no idea what is wrong with me."

I open my mouth to talk, but Emma cuts me off.

"But I talk to you about that later...."

"You still can't trust me Emma...," I say trying not to, but failing, getting slightly irritated.

"No... It is just that I need to apologize too. You trust me. You would risk everything for me. And I should too. I need to trust you. I need to put all my faith in you, in us. I can tell you anything . If we are going to have this child, I want to bring it into a world where parents love them and their parents love each other. And to do that I need to not bring my walls back up. I am sorry Killian. I need to lean on you. I love you."

I was shocked to say the least. I was expecting her to push me away again.

I don't know what to say. I just kiss her.

At first she is surprised and almost pulls away, but then she leans in. She wraps her arms around my neck. My hook was on the small of her back. My  fingers were running through her hair. She pulls away first.

"The dream," she says.

"What?" I say still lost in the feeling of her lips on mine.

"My dream, nightmare, vision, flashback, I don't know. It... It was like I was reliving ... The moment... When, " she takes a deep breath,"you were killed by Excalibur."

I pull her closer to me, knowing that she was about to cry. I know our Dark One times are a soft spot for her.

"It made me realize that I have lost so many people. You, twice. I thought I lost Henry when he ate that poisoned apple. Neal and August when he became a boy again. Even Graham and Walsh. I just... There is one person besides you and Henry that I can't afford to loose."

Her gaze drift to her stomach.

"Our baby," I say knowing that is what she was about to say.

"I lost Henry, but I chose to give him away, to give him his best shot. And that may have been the hardest decision I have made, but it led me back to my parents and to you. But at the same time, I don't think I am ready. I gave up Henry because I knew I was not ready to be a mother. How can I be ready now?"

"You have Henry. You were a mother to him. You will be a great mother."

"I am only his biological mother. I didn't raise Henry. Regina did and she may have been evil, but she raised him. I just came into his life when he was all grown up. If I couldn't raise Henry how can I raise this child?"

"Last time it was just you. This time you have me. I won't leave you. I am here for you. Emma I love you."

"I love you, Killian."

"I love you too. We can do this like we always have, together."

"But then what is going on with me? Why is this happening again," she says throwing her hand into the air.

"I don't know. I am hoping it is just stress," I say taking her hands and glancing down at them as I fold our fingers together, "But maybe you should go see Archie, love."

"That seems like a good idea. We also should go see Dr. Whale."

"What for?" I ask.

Emma seems to be in no physical danger.

"For an ultrasound."

"An ultrasound?" I say confused.

"It is kinda like a checkup on the baby and me. Just to make sure we are both healthy."

"Anything for my you and my little pirate."

"What makes you think it will be a pirate?" She smiles.

"It has my genes, what else would it be?"

"A prince or a princess?" She battles my idea, "I am technically royalty."

I chuckle and pull her closer to me, with a better view than the sea just lying in my arms.