Cinderella is Gay (EDITING)

💫XLI💫

Chapter Forty-One:
Make Love

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NOW
January 2018

YOHAN'S POINT OF VIEW

PARANG nawala ang kalasingan ko dahil sa itinakbo ng usapan namin. Alam kong nasaktan si Phil sa sinabi ko pero kailangan kong sabihin 'yon. Ayokong paasahin s'ya na may pag-asa pang magkabalikan kami, kasi kung ako ang tatanungin, ayoko na talaga. Oo nga't mahal ko pa s'ya, pero hindi enough reason 'yon para magkabalikan kami.

Hindi ako nag-iinarte o nagpapakipot. I was just trying to guard my heart because I've been hurt too much. Unfair naman sa'kin kung hahayaan kong masaktan nang paulit-ulit ang puso ko. Kailangan ko rin namang matuto sa mga pagkakamali ko. Hindi pwedeng gagapang ulit ako pabalik sa kanya just because we're still in love with each other.

"Thanks for tonight," sabi ko habang pareho kaming nakatayo sa harap ng pinto ng kanya-kanya naming kwarto. Nakabalik na kami sa resort at sobrang tahimik namin habang pauwi.

"Yeah, thanks rin," mahinang tugon naman niya.

Ipapasok ko na sana ang susi sa doorknob nang bigla kong naramdaman ang mga kamay ni Phil sa magkabilang balikat ko. Pinihit n'ya ako paharap sa kanya and looked at me intensely.

Napalunok ako sa sarili kong laway at kinabahan sa nakita kong intensidad sa mga mata n'ya. Nag-aapoy ang mga titig niya at para akong napapaso.

"P-Phil..."

"No, I can't let you go. I'm sorry."

"Phil, what are you doing—"

"I can't lose you again, Yohan. Never again." Tears were streaming down his face and it took all my strength to stop myself from wiping his tears. "I've never been truly happy without you. I made a huge fuckin' mistake of letting you go. I probably don't deserve another chance, but I'm willing to do anything to win you back."

"Phil, itigil mo na 'to. Please..." I pleaded, but I know I sounded so weak. My mind was telling me to push him away but my heart was dictating me something else.

"Please, let's give it another try. Huling beses na 'to. 'Pag sinaktan pa kita, kahit 'wag mo na akong patawarin. Just... Just come back to me, please. I miss you. I'm still in love with you."

"No, I can't."

Hinawakan niya ang magkabila kong pisngi and gave me a pleading look. Sobrang layo n'ya sa Phil na nakilala ko. He was literally begging me to come back to him, and honestly, I really wanted to say yes. But the logical side of my brain was telling me that I have already started to move forward without him in my life, and I've been doing just fine. Hahayaan ko bang bumalik na naman ako sa umpisa?

Before I could think some more, he already claimed my lips with an overwhelming amount of passion. He made me feel how badly he wanted me back and how much he loved me. His kisses brought me back to the days when we're still happy and so in love with each other. I got lost in his kisses, so I threw cautions in the wind and started to kiss him back.

Ipinulupot ko ang mga kamay ko sa braso niya at mas idiniin pa ang mga labi namin. We were both so wild and I could only care less. I just wanted to kiss him... To feel him.

Binuksan ni Phil ang pinto ng kwarto n'ya without breaking the kiss. The next thing I knew, we were already inside his room. He closed the door and pinned me against the wall. I started to unbotton his polo while his mouth was too busy exploring my neck. It felt like I was being swallowed by an intense surge of emotion. Walang kahit na sino ang may kakayahan na magparamdam sa akin ng ganoon katinding emosyon kundi si Phil lang.