KAISE BATAAOON TUMHE...

To play it dirty.

Manik's point of view...

I hated every second of my visit but it was necessary. I can't lose Nandini and for that if I have to tear the world apart or make her dependable upon me, I will.  So, I finally found that one bit that I could do.
I ripped her selection form from the solo list. It would be like she never applied to the competition. While driving back home, I thought about what I did. Did I do something wrong? yes. Did I knew I was doing something wrong? Yes. Would I do it Again for Nandini? Yes.
I know it was wrong of me to rip that form, but I can't let her career at risk. I know what's out their in that world. rejections, harassment, all sorts of assault, I can't let her face them with no one by her side. It is not like I don't trust her, but I know what she's gone through the first time, I can't let her go through it again. She would be hurt, she would be angry with me for a long time, but atleast when she will be in front of my eyes, i can save her from that god awful world. She would be right in front of my eyes. 

As I reached home, She was still asleep in the hall, in front of the television. I sat beside her, slowly as to not wake her up. I picked the paper which she was reading marking her houses and read all the properties and flats she marked. I took a photo of it too.
What I don't understand that she has a home, The Murthy house - the house Uncle and Aunty left her, so why does she need to get her own house? Does she really want to leave everything behind?

I looked at her sleeping form and relived the last few days - a lot has happened. But, everything that has happened really broke us apart. Was it that bad? Can't it get better ? She shivered once and I stilled, then she turned and slept again.
In her sleep, she muttered something that sounded more like 'flowers paint the wall.'

I relaxed for a minute and she shivered again - it must be cold here, so I grabbed another blanket from the downstairs cabinet and walked back to the living room, covered her with it and for once in so long, I got a good look at her.

Once, in my room, I picked a book from the shelf and with my earphones on, I played a song and did the most un- Manik thing. I read. Obviously, I couldn't concentrate on the book. I could on the lyrics, on the sound and I recognize the song immediately - It's one of the song Nandini insisted I have in my device, said, "Not all days are good, and for them your soundtrack must be set." The sound's called - HOLD ON by Chord overstreet

Loving and fighting
Accusing, denying
I can't imagine a world with you gone
The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of
I'd be so lost if you left me alone...
You locked yourself in the bathroom;
Lying on the floor when I break through
I pull you in to feel your heartbeat
Can you hear me screaming "Please don't leave me!"

Hold on, I still want you
Come back, I still need you
Let me take your hand, I'll make it right
I swear to love you all my life
Hold on, I still need you

A long endless highway, you're silent beside me
Driving a nightmare I can't escape from
Helplessly praying, the light isn't fading
Hiding the shock and the chill in my bones
They took you away on a table
I pace back and forth as you lay still
They pull you in to feel your heartbeat...
Can you hear me screaming, "Please don't leave me!"

Hold on, I still want you
Come back, I still need you
Let me take your hand, I'll make it right
I swear to love you all my life
Hold on, I still need you

I don't wanna let go
I know I'm not that strong
I just wanna hear you
Saying, "Baby, let's go home."
"Let's go home"
Yeah, I just wanna take you home

Hold on, I still want you
Come back, I still need you

The words hit me like hurricane, I will be alone without her. All alone. Like before. None of this would matter if she left. For the first time in a long while, I have let someone other than my family have that power over me and she must know that much - if she leaves me, she takes everything with her.

The next morning I woke up earlier to see Nandini still sleeping where I left her earlier. I checked on her and after that I went to the college..
If there's one place I am sure no one is upset or angry with me is the studio.

I was composing a tune when I heard the announcement "all the participants of fusion concert are requested to be present in the auditorium."

I rushed faster than anyone, seeming too eager to listen.

Everyone was there, the students, teachers, Fab 5, Navya, Aryaman, Abhimanyu and her. The announcer didn't waste too much time in his announcements.
He began with the group category:- 4 out of 5 groups have been selected and I applauded when Navya, Abhimanyu and Aryaman's names were announced, they applied together as one group.
Then the went for the duel category:- 5 out of 10 pairs were announced to be up in the competition.
Finally, the solo category was to be announced and as they moved further with names, I found myself eager to catch on to every name. There were 6 solo artists, Including Harshad and Sahil. I looked around and saw my friends looking at Nandini with pride believing the last name to be hers, she looked worried, taking deep breaths and fidgeting her fingers.

"and the last name is number 1708, Sonya Agrawal."
Fab 5 and others looked up in shock and i quickly masked my smirk with a surprised emotion.

After a while, as the auditorium began to fade, I glanced at Nandini again, She was in a trance of some kind, and then I saw it, a flikker of sadness and defeat, she didn't spoke to anyone of our friends while they console her. I wanted to be there for her, it's the least I could do for her, showing I forgve her, but I was held back by some selected artist talking us about the competition.
We congratulated everyone, my glance always searching for her, and I saw her run out of the auditorium, Navya was stopped by abhimanyu probably saying, "she needs some time.". Classic Abhi.

But, that gave me an opportunity to talk to her.
I went after her and saw her enter the music library, she was easy to find considering the whole library was empty except for us.
She was sitting om the farthest chair endorsed in her notebook. I quietly sat beside her. I decided After every game I played, this moment would be truthful. I would truly be there with her.

"Nandini ?"

"I am fine, Manik." She seemed fine. But I knew she was not, her eyes told me so. So I continued approaching her.

"You don't have to lie to me, I know you are upset about your selection." More like an understatement. She must be really sad. Comfort her Manik. Don't just state the obvious.

"I was not worthy, Manik. It's okay. I am fine. Please leave me alone for sometime." Don't you understand Nandini, It is precisely why I had to do that. I can't leave you alone.

"Nandini, please don't shut me out, look I am sorry, you weren't selected, please don't be upset."

"Are you Manik? Sorry? Because tumhe dekh ke nahi lagta. You look relieved, that is exactly what you wanted, right? "

I was baffled, does she know?

Sorry for the late update..

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Dee.