Blood vs. Loyalty

Jax's Letters

'Abel,

Hey, little man. There's so much that I wanna tell you, but there's not enough paper in the world that'll be able to hold everything. So I'll give you two pieces of advice. The first is don't get caught up in trying to see the bigger picture. You'll hurt people more if you don't also focus on what's in front of you. The second is to learn the difference between a wife and an old lady. A wife is great, but an old lady is who lives through tragedies with you and stays by your side. But keep in mind that with old ladies, while wives are great, you either tell them everything, let them know what's going on in every aspect of your life. Or you tell them absolutely nothing, keep them separate from the things you don't want to talk about. Your mommy might not have given birth to you or been a member of the club, but she kept me grounded with things are me were insane. She kept my head clear when the voices got to be too loud. Telling her all of the scary shit that tried to poison my heart and my mind, only to have her stay by my side? I pray that you find that, son. Your mom has been my best friend, my cheerleader, my ass-kicker, my rock and my caretaker since we were kids. Unfortunately, it took way too long for us to be where we are now, but she became my old lady when I needed her to be. My biggest hope for you, son, is that you make your own legacy. My dad left his in a manuscript and a bunch of letters to someone he loved, and I left mine in you and your siblings and your mom. There's a lot I would do differently if I ever had the chance, but never would I change who you all are. You'll make many mistakes in life, God knows I've made more than my fair share, but it's how you come back from them and make them right that matters. I love you, son.'

'Tommy,

You came to your mommy and I while we were both going through something tragic. Something that we almost didn't make it through. We almost lost you a couple times but you were determined to be born. And I couldn't be more thankful for your existence. You were an enormous bright spot in a very dark spot in our lives. My advice to you is never give up. Persistence pays off. But don't be an ass about it either. Meet that middle line between just enough and too much. Sometimes you'll have to back off and sometimes you'll have to overcompensate. But the best things in life you'll have to struggle to get and keep. But I can promise you it'll be worth it. Always. Don't settle. More damage gets caused that way. To more people than just you. That's a lesson I learned the hardest way. Don't make my mistakes. Make your own. Live them. Learn from them. Correct them where you can. I pray that my past doesn't crush you like it did me. Live your life to its fullest and love deeply. No matter what life throws at you. I love you, son.'

'Valentina,

My beautiful princess. I could be like one of those dads who says that I won't let you date until you're married or some other bullshit, but that's how you end up knocked up at 16, crying to us that you made a mistake. I want better for you. I want better for all of you. So just be careful. It's cliche to say that boys are only after one thing, but for the most part, it's true. There are some boys out there that will be out for your heart in a good way. Stick close to those boys. Even if you don't like them right away, give it a chance. They might seem like geeks or nerds, but those guys will show you what real love is. That's what you deserve. But that's not to say you shouldn't walk on the wild side. It can be fun. Dare to be different. It might scare some people away, but the best people are the ones that'll walk in the dark with you. You want proof, look no farther than the people that you've grown up with. The men that you've grown up calling uncle. They've walked through the dark with me and your mom many times and got me through the toughest times. The times where I thought I would lose everything in my life. They've fought behind me, alongside me and for me. And they've done the same for your mom and you kids. Those are the kinds of people you want in your corner, princess. You'll be better off in life if you surround yourself with goofballs and weirdos. Make life your circus, princess. You'll be happier. I promise.'

'Lilia,

What can I possibly say to my little miracle that I haven't already said a million times? While your mommy was still pregnant with you, we all thought that we were gonna lose the two of you. I've never been a religious man, couldn't afford to be in the life I was living, but I've thanked God every day for your existence. To think of my life without you is a heartache I don't think I could live through. Words can't fully express how thankful I am for you. All of you kids have changed my life in a monumental way, but you showed me how fleeting life can truly be. I knew it before, but in my days of living dangerously, it was just a thing that happened. Like breathing or drinking water. You take it for granted without realizing that it could be taken from you in the blink of an eye. Sometimes without warning or indication. And that's my advice to you. Don't be afraid to live, but never forget that anything can happen. Good or bad. Don't take anything for granted. You'll kick yourself if you do and you lose it. Trust me. I've been in that place a couple times. That place where you try to think of the consequences of your options. What would happen to me if I did this thing? What would happen to my family if I did that thing? Those thoughts will eat at you and you'll be tempted to do the easier of your options to get rid of those questions. Don't do the easy thing just because it's easy. Everything is a struggle, beautiful girl. Do the right thing and don't change for anyone. Even if you end up being a shy girl or a wild child. You'll always be loved no matter what. I promise. I love you, baby girl. And I always will.'