I had this story up before on a different profile, and was absolutely in love with what I came up with. But because of the graphic nature of my story, it was taken down. With no warning. So I'm redoing this story so I can put it up again. BIG thanks...
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Holly woke up to Jax crawling into bed next to her, rolling her over to get a look at her face.
"Tig tell you what happened?" "Are you ok?" "I'm fine, babe. And no, I don't wanna talk about it. I'm just glad you're home."
Before he could say another word, she pulled him in for a kiss, tangling her fingers in his hair as she sat up a bit. She looked at him when he pulled away, meeting his eyes.
"Things are crumbling around us, Jackson. I know you wanna change things, and I know that change isn't gonna happen right away, but this isn't working. You and Clay have butted heads before, but never like this. And never so hard." "This shit with Donna....I don't know how to get right with that. I know why he would go after Opie. It looked like Opie had rat. But Donna paid that price. It was a mistake that he didn't even try to right. He told lie after lie after lie. He's been watching Opie lose his mind over Donna's death. That guy we killed was a dick and deserved to die, but not like that. And not for that reason. Opie's taking Clay's side on everything and he doesn't even know that the people he's choosing are the people that killed his wife. And I'm the bad guy. I'm the asshole that's undermining Clay."
She took his hands and kissed them softly before looking up at him.
"We need a break, Jax. Just you, me and Abel. How about we go up to the cabin and ignore the world for a little while? Turn off our phones for a couple of days and just be a family? A couple?" "That would be good if I could leave town. I have to stay in town until the trial." "Oh right. I forgot." "But how about you go? You need a break too. You've been through as much shit as I have." "I don't wanna leave you alone to deal with this shit. I won't." "Babe, Stahl is back in town and I don't want her anywhere near you or you anywhere near Zobelle or Weston. So why don't you head up to see Jury? Or go to Vegas. Anywhere that isn't Charming for a while." "No. I'm not gonna leave you or Abel behind. We can't take Abel too far away from the hospital for a while, you can't leave because of the trial. And, to be honest, Jax.....If I leave, there's no guarantee that I'll come back."
He looked at her in confusion and concern, still holding her hand.
"I won't deny that I need a break, cause I do. But I'm not doing so well here. With everything going on, I feel like I'm losing myself. That fight with your mom made me realize something." "What is it?" "I don't know who I am without the club. I know who I am without you and I don't like that girl. The girl that'll jump into bed with the first person that calls her pretty or shows her even the tiniest fraction of the attention she craves. But the club is all I've ever known. I was raised around all of this and when something happens I know exactly what I need to do or who to go to for what thing. But this? The fighting between you and Clay, the thing with Kohn and now Zobelle? I've never been more lost in my life. And that scares me. I've never been more afraid that I'm gonna bury you than I've ever been in my life and I don't know how to handle that."
She sighed shakily and stood up, tears dripping from her eyes as she went to get her laptop, opening it up and setting it down in front of him, showing him the page she'd been on last.
