Who She Is

~23~

*Drug warning

Alyx's POV

I feel all my anxiety and stress leave my body. I've never felt more at ease. Yet, I'm more aware of my surroundings. I look out the car window and see brown and orange leaves falling. My eyes drift to the ground. The grass looks so amazing and green, despite it being autumn. Why does everything seem so damn beautiful?

I finally close my eyes and blink. Ow. My eyes feel really dry. And so does my tongue. It feels like sandpaper. I'm really thirsty. I lick my lips and dryly swallow.

I hear movement beside me and turn my head towards the sound. Amaya is reaching in the backseat and grabs a water bottle from her bag. She opens it and takes a few sips. I stare at her and gulp. That looks so good. Why? Water has never looked so good before.

She notices my staring and furrows her brows. "Do you want some? Weed really dries your mouth out." She hands the water to me. The same water she just drank out of. What the hell am I saying? We've kissed before, and I've drank after her. I can quit being so dramatic. I take it from her and gulp some down. Oh my god. That was so refreshing.

"Thanks. That was so good," I say.

She starts laughing. "It's just water." She's completely turned toward me in her seat with her legs crossed.

I crack a smile and let a laugh out. "I know. I was just so thirsty."

She stops laughing and lets a gasp out, staring at me with surprise.

"What's wrong?" I ask, worried now.

"Nothing. You just don't laugh a lot in front of me. You have a really nice smile." She looks away from me, her cheeks turning pink.

I blush and look away, too. "Oh. T-thanks."

"You always look so anxious around me. I wasn't sure before if it was because you liked me or if you really didn't want to be around me," she tells me.

"Sorry. I'm just... really nervous around you. I never know what to say to you. I've offended you before with too many questions, so I try not to overstep." I blink my eyes a few times. They're so dry.

"You're really respectful. I like that. But at the same time, I also don't want you to have to worry about overstepping." She smiles and plays with a strand of her hair. "You want to do something?" she asks.

"What?"

"Since I'm feeling a lot better now, let's play five questions. Not twenty because I'm too high to do that many. You can ask whatever you want, and I can do the same. Choose wisely. You can start."

I can ask her five questions. What do I want to ask her? I feel so funny. It feels really nice, though. I feel floaty and can't even think of anything to ask right now. I always have so many questions in my head. Why can't I think of anything? Does weed make you forgetful? C'mon, Alyx, think.

"When did you lose your virginity?" I emphasis on the 'your'. I decide to ask her the same question she asked me last night.

Her eyes widen some, and she smirks, letting a laugh out of her lips. She puts her hands on her hips and playfully rolls her eyes. "Hitting me with the same question, hmm?" I give her a nod. She giggles, saying, "I lost my virginity the summer before high school started-"

"So, not to Jason?" I interrupt her. She mentioned meeting him in high school earlier.

She purses her lips. "No." So she's been with two people before. "Anyway, I was only fourteen. His name was Tommy. He was also the person that showed me weed. He was a little older than me. Seventeen. I was stupid. I thought he really liked me, though. But he randomly left town one day. So, fuck him. He's who I sold those pills to, the ones I took. So, yeah, not to Jason. I met Jason shortly after I turned fifteen. I'm going to be honest, I was still hurt by Tommy. Jason just wanted sex, and that's all I wanted, too. I didn't want to feel feelings like that again."