Abroad

Chapter 49

I'm not sure if I'm ready to tell my story but Hero wants an explanation. I haven't thought about Tommy in weeks..

"Tommy is.. I'm not sure what Tommy is.. I can't say he's my ex because we weren't officially dating.." I struggle to tell the story. It hasn't been that long and I'm still trying to recover. Hero is a good listener. He doesn't say anything but lets me tell the story at my own pace.

"Tommy and I were best friends.. sort of. We met through mutual friends and for a time we had this group of friends. Tommy isn't the easiest of people. He doesn't trust many people. It took a while before he warmed up to us but I was drawn to him from day one. I don't fall in love often.. but with him I did." I'm lost in my memories for a second.

"What happened?"

"We soon noticed that we're practically the same. We loved the same books, films, bands, football team... So we did a lot together. Went to concerts, movies.. we texted all the time. We talked about growing up and what we wanted in life after graduating... I loved him so much and because we texted all the time and spend a lot of time together, I assumed he must love me too. Everyone thought so... One night he would sleep over because we watched Harry Potter 'till very late and we had some drinks so he couldn't drive back. We had sex. It was my first time and it was so special because it was with the first boy I fell in love with." I swallow because there's a lump in my throat. I didn't realize it but I'm crying. Hero doesn't say anything. He just holds my hand.

"The next morning I was sure that we were dating or would be dating soon. He left without a hug or a kiss but I thought that was because he's a very shy person. We texted all day like we used to but at night he went to the movies with another girl. He texted me through the film but I was suspicious. I called our friends and they said that she was his girlfriend.. my world fell apart. I never understood the word 'heartbreak' but at that moment I swear I could feel my heart shatter in a thousand pieces. I felt sick and I was so angry. I felt so betrayed. Not only did I realize he would never be in love with me, I also realized that I lost my best friend that day."

"What an asshole.. what did you do?"

"I texted him that I didn't want to see him anymore, that I didn't want to hear from him anymore. That I needed time and that I wanted him out of my life while I tried to get over him. He never replied to my text. I needed a distraction and I needed to get as far away from him as possible so I applied to different universities in the UK. He didn't know. No one told him. I saw him again one more time before I left Belgium. I went to one last football game with my friends before I left. He was there as well, obviously. He tried to say hello because I hadn't seen him in months. I just said 'don't' and left. The next week I left for Cardiff. I didn't hear from him again until I went back home for Christmas.. he walked in while I was having a drink with friends. He asked how I was and I just said fine. One of his friends told me then that he was very sad when I didn't want anything to do with him anymore and that he was so angry when I left without a word. He truly didn't know until I was gone and it was too late. Apparently he had dumped his girlfriend soon after I broke off all contact because he couldn't talk to her like he could to me. He didn't reach out though because he wanted to give me time. I really don't know why he texted me now. You have to believe me!" I'm full on crying now and Hero is holding me.

"Sshh it's okay. I'm not mad."

"Please, never hurt me like that."

"I won't."