Abroad

Chapter 57

I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself. Who is this pale person with big, hollow eyes staring at me? It's like Hero sucked all life out of me. Seeing him just now hurt so bad... I shake my head. I need to man up. When I return to my room, Lizzie is holding up a dress. 

"Here, take this. It's one of mine but I don't look good in it. I have a feeling you might." I try on the dress.

"See, I knew it!" She claps her hands from excitement. It's a black dress in a thick but stretchy fabric. It's very tight around my body and shows my curves perfectly. It's classy but sexy at the same time, showing cleavage. It reaches my knees though so it's not slutty. I give her a grateful smile.

"Okay, sit down. I want to curl your hair." I obey. She loves playing with my hair and it always looks good after. I think about tonight. I'm excited. I want to get drunk and numb the pain. After she finishes my hair, she fixes my make-up. She's a master when it comes to smokey eyes. I stare in to the mirror again and I don't recognize myself, again. I actually look sexy.

"You're a saint," I say to her. We take some selfies and go find the boys. Scott is with them in the kitchen.

"Daaamn," he whistles. "You look hot as hell! Maybe I'll join you guys after all." 

"Thanks," I smile. I know it's fake and it must look foolish but I can't master a real one. Not yet. Killian hands me a drink with a concerned look on his face. I taste it and gulp it down immediately. I hand him my empty glass.

"Easy there tiger," he tries to lighten the mood. I know he still feels responsible.

"It's so good!"

"Aah it's my secret daiquiri recipe." He fixes me an other drink and because I don't want them commenting on my drinking, I drink this one slower. Jack puts some music on and soon we entertain ourselves with some sing and dance battles. Jack and I give an excellent performance. The alcohol is doing it's job nicely and with some help from my friends I can actually take my mind off Hero. We decide to go to Bunker tonight because it's closest to our dorm. When we walk out of our flat Hero is standing there with Megan and Melany. Great. I act a lot braver than I feel because of the alcohol and look at them. I can see Hero's eyes widen as he scans my body. I bite my lip and look away. It hurts that his body still reacts to mine like it used to.

"Well well, if that isn't our group of nerds," Megan says with an evil smile. "Don't let them fool you Mel, there's a big Big Bang Theory vibe in that flat. They love playing Game of Thrones Monopoly and Harry Potter marathons." They both start laughing and it doesn't make Melany more attractive. She has a high pitched laugh that makes my hair stand up straight.

"Shut up Meg," Killian warns her.

"Oh come on, Killian! They look like they have played dress up. What are you guys up to anyway?"

"We're going to Bu-" I give him a push before he can finish that sentence. I don't want them to know where we're going.

"Stop making fun of my friends Megan," I say with a warning voice. I know she can hear the anger I'm holding back because she shuts up.

"Can we please just talk for a sec?" Hero surprises us all by asking. Melany raises both eyebrows. I look at him, I stare in to his deep green eyes and all I see is pain and regret... But then again, Hero is an excellent actor. He made me fall for it once, I won't do it twice.

"No, we can't." 

"Please..." His voice is low, making his accent even more beautiful. "Please just listen and don't go out dressed like that." The others stay silent, even Megan and Melany. They all stare back and forth between Hero and me. What?

"What? You don't get to tell me how to dress and what to do. Never talk to me again, Hero. Forget that I exist." I turn around on my high heels and start walking away.

"I'm sorry!" Hero screams. "I'm so sorry!"
I turn around and look at him one more time. The tears welling up in his eyes almost break through my defense but then I remember my tears.

"You're only sorry you got caught. You know, you're an amazing actor. I really believed you." My voice is a whisper. I walk away from the man I love the most. I don't want him to see the tears in my eyes.