Abroad

Chapter 64

The next day I'm nervous to meet Tommy. I changed outfits like five times and I'm not really that type of girl. His eyes never left me last night and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I kind of liked being the centre of his attention. I take a deep breath before entering the sports bar where we're supposed to meet. I scan the room and I spot him in the corner. He looks nervous too.

"Hey Lottie," he stands up when I walk to the table. He kisses me on the cheek and his lips linger a little bit too long.

"Hey."

"How are you?"

"I'm fine. How are you?"

"I'm good." The silence between us is so awkward. Luckily, the waitress comes to take our order. "You had fun last night." It's a statement, not a question.

"I did. It was nice to see my friends. Did you have fun?"

"I was... distracted," he gives me an apologetic smile. "You looked really good." I take a big sip of my wine. I don't know how to respond to that. I have waited so long to hear this but now... the butterflies I used to feel only flutter a tiny bit. My mind trails off and I think about Hero for a second. The love I felt for him was wild and overwhelming. It blazed like a bonfire, sparked from a little bit of lightning when we first met.

"What did you want to talk about?" I ask him, ignoring his comment. It's weird, he used to make me feel so small but now I feel strong. I look into his pale grey eyes. I can feel a hint of the old feelings I had for him.

"I just wanted to see you."

"You owe me an explanation and we can only be friends again if you're honest." He's uncomfortable and for a minute he's silent. I take a sip of my wine, I won't break the silence.

"You're right," he sighs in defeat. "But it won't be an easy conversation!"

"Nothing about us has been easy."

"I guess I did love you all this time but I was afraid. I really didn't think that someone like you could ever have feelings for me. The boys said you were in love with me but I just couldn't believe them. I mean.. you're very very attractive and I'm not. Also, we're very similar in a lot of ways but different too. You're very outgoing and you make friends in no time. I'm not that social." He takes a sip of beer. "I just didn't believe it could work and I didn't want to lose my friend."

"Well.. that turned out great!" I can't help it. Did he really think he wouldn't lose me after what he did?

"I know." I'm surprised when I look at him. He actually sounds sincere. "But the truth is... You're the only one I feel comfortable with." I feel a tug at my heart. A couple of months ago, this was the only thing I wanted to hear. Is that really completely gone?

"Look, I can't forget what you did but we can meet while I'm here. We haven't talked in months, we've missed a lot. Let's just get to know each other again, deal?"

"Deal!" He smiles and my heart stops for a second. It's the smile I loved from the second I met him. We met during a football game. It was his first away trip and he was very quiet on the bus. I was loud as usual. He turned around to look at me with a frown on his face. I gave him a big smile and he gave me a very shy one. I was intrigued instantly.

We talked for hours before we finally decided to go home.

"Did you come by car?"

"No, by bike," I tell him as I put my coat on.

"Can I walk you to your bike?"

"Sure." We walk in silence, the tension building up. "How did you get here?" I ask him.

"I walked. I moved here now," he turns around and looks at me.

"Wait? Really?! I didn't know!" I truly didn't know that he had moved to my town. We stand next to my bike now and the tension is unbearable. He leans over a bit as if to kiss me and for a second I'm frozen. Then I turn my head slightly and his kiss ends up on my cheek.

"Sorry," I whisper. "Too soon."

"It's okay," he smiles. "Text me when you get home safely." I nod and leave. Did I not want to kiss him because of what happened or because of Hero?