Abroad

Chapter 59

I'm not sure where to go. I don't want to go to our dorm and I can't go to Cardiff Castle because they will look for me there. The alcohol is clouding my judgement. It's cold and it's raining so I should go inside. I will definitely get ill this way. I decide to run to a small park nearby. I just found it the other day and I'm sure none of my friends will look for me there. I sit on the swing and let the rain wash it all away. I'm broken. The look on Hero's face still haunts me.

I watch the sunrise but I feel empty inside. Cardiff always looks beautiful after the rain but I don't appreciate it this time. I walk back to my flat, my heels still in my hand. I can't feel the cold or the pain anymore.
"Where were you?!" Lizzie yells when I walk in. "Charlotte! You're freezing!" I look at her with haunted eyes. I didn't realize I was cold. She takes my key card and takes my hand. She leads me inside my room.
"Okay sweetie, you should take a hot shower and I will get you some coffee to sober up," she says with a sweet voice. She gently pushes me in the direction of the bathroom. I just let the hot water warm me up. I feel like a robot, I can't feel anything. When I get out of the shower Lizzie is holding up a USW hoodie and a soft pajama pants. I put them on and drink my coffee in silence. Lizzie seems to understand because she doesn't say anything and just stays by my side.
"You should get some sleep. I will check on you later. I'm thanking all the alcohol though. You shouldn't drink anymore." I just nod and she leaves. It's too silent in my room. I'm sure I won't be able to sleep. I decide to watch some Big Bang Theory.

I must have fallen asleep because when I wake up, it's dark outside. I look at my phone and notice that it's dead. I charge it and when it turns on I see that I have a lot of missed calls and texts from my friends. None of them are Hero's though. He used to text me all the time after it happened... I swallow and my throat is sore. Great, I'll definitely get a cold. There is a soft knock on my door and I drag myself out of bed to open is.

"Hey babe, how are you feeling?" Lizzie says when she enters.

"My throat is sore."

"I can imagine. Listen, you really scared us last night. You were wasted and wandered outside alone at night... that's no okay Char."

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

"It's okay." She hugs me tightly. "Just don't do it again." I nod.

"We all get that you're hurt but you can't lose yourself like this. Hero is not worth it!"

"I know. I'll behave, I promise."

"Do you want some food?"

"No, I'm not hungry."

"You need some soup at least. It will help your throat." She gets up and goes to the kitchen. I really don't want to see anyone so I just stay in my room. Arguing with her is pointless so I'll just eat the soup she gives me.

"Here you go," she says a little while later. She stays with me to see if I finish the bowl. After she leaves I fall a asleep again and my dreams are haunted by Hero.

The next day I have a bad cough and my throat is worse. I drag myself out of bed though because it's the last week of classes before Easter Break. I don't want to miss anything. There are dark circles under my eyes and I can't get rid of them. I pull my hair into a messy bun and put on a fresh hoodie. I really can't be bothered to dress up for class today.

"You look horrible!" Ana says when I meet her before class.

"Thanks," I try to master a smile. "I'm just ill.. sore throat and a bad cough."

"Poor thing."

When we enter the class room, Hero is already there. He didn't take his usual spot next to me but picked the one behind me. He doesn't look at me.

"Hey Hero," Ana says with her cheery voice. "How have you been?"

"Fine."

"How was your weekend?" I look at Ana. Why is she questioning him? She must have heard the anger in his voice.

"I had better ones."

"I read that Melany is in town! Is it true? Is she really your girlfriend? Is she here to rehearse for the next film?"

I sit completely still. I can feel Hero tense behind me. What is she doing?!

"What's with the twenty questions, Ana?" Hero says with a warning voice. Ana gives him a broad smile.

"Nothing, I was just wondering."

"I don't want to talk about it but no, she is not my girlfriend. She is my co-star." Ana turns around and takes her seat beside me. She still has a smile on her face.

"What the fuck?" I whisper when the others have entered and there's some noise in the room.

"I was just annoying him a bit. He's a prick for what he did to you." She smiles at me and Mike starts class.

Hero doesn't look at me the entire time. When we leave the room, he's talking to Lucas. When his eyes meet mine, the light inside them dies and they turn cold. I know I have lost him forever. I have gone too far.