The Wars of Ivory White (Book I: The Protector)

Chapter 31

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CHAPTER 31

The night was clear as the cemetery lamps reflected off the dull patina of the grey tombstones. Jonathan held Tracy's hand as they weaved their way through the standing markers, each one whispering a silent summary of life once lived. Stopping under the branches of a wild cherry tree, a single grave stood out.  More innocent than the rest, yet similar in appearance, the headstone read Briella Jessica Tanner. From the dates that were deeply etched into the granite rock, she was only twenty-three years old.

"Was she your girlfriend?" Tracy asked, studying Jonathan's expressionless face, expecting a simple reply.

"She was my best friend." Jonathan said solemnly, as he kneeled in the grass to caress the engraved letters set in hard stone.  "We were together since diapers. It was myself, Erik, and Briella.  Closer than most siblings could ever be, everyone thought she would be mated to one of us. Erik and I were relieved when that didn't happen." Jonathan chuckled sadly. "It probably would've felt like having a sister for a mate. But if I had thought for a minute that saving her meant that kind of a commitment,  it would have happened."

Sitting on a bench under the cherry tree next to the grave, tears fell silently as Jonathan spoke fondly of his friend.  Battling the grief and anger that flooded his head, it was the guilt of not doing more to help Briella during her time of need that had damaged him the most.

Tracy listened quietly, occasionally wiping away her own tears. When Jonathan had finished his story, he took a deep breath.  It was an important moment of relief for him.  For a long time the tragedy of his friend had defined a big part of his reckless behavior. It was a weight on his shoulders that haunted the soul of his existence. Never able to come to terms with Briella's abuse and eventual death, he realized, at this moment, that the burden of her victimization was an unbearable weight on him. He wanted some closure to it all.

"There was nothing you could have done." Tracy said, as she consoled him.  "Briella was committed to her mate, despite the abuse. Even the few times when you managed to get her away for weeks, she still ran back to him. No matter how much you want to save someone, there's nothing you can do until they decide they want to be saved. In Briella's case, she ran out of time. That's not on you. Her mate had broken her to the point that she felt crippled without him. Plus, she felt helpless under the pull of her mate bond. She was his prisoner even after he had died."

"If I hadn't challenged him after she told me she loved him....... if I hadn't left her alone..."

"Stop it." Tracy said firmly, "You challenged him to save her life. She killed herself after he died. That was her choice.  And really, from the way he had continued to beat her, she would have died anyways. There was nothing you could have done to change her fate."

Jonathan sighed, "I never wanted a mate..."

"I understand."

"The bond makes you love your mate no matter what." Jonathan said.

"What?! Are you freaking crazy?! THAT was not love! THAT was abuse and torture! Look at your parent's relationship, then look at your friend's and tell me which one is the example of true love. Would your father treat your mother like that? Of course not! Not everyone who drinks becomes an alcoholic and ends up living under a bridge. Most mated couples are happy, or at least content.  You witnessed a worst case scenario." Tracy paused for a moment before trying to lighten the mood, "Ha. I just compared love to booze. I guess it's accurate enough, they both make you do crazy things."

Jonathan snorted, "Maybe we're just cursed.  After all, Erik got a crappy mate too."

"Crystal is a spoiled brat who was given everything all her life and it shows... So, what are you saying? That I'm a psycho torturer or a spoiled rotten bitch?" Tracy asked indignantly before grinning, "Eh maybe best to hold judgement until I've had a chance to go all crazy on your ass first.... I wonder what that would be like? I've never gone loco on anybody yet and I don't think it fair to count the couple of times I've killed a few people."

She laughed while Jonathan chuckled. They sat quietly for a few moments before Jonathan asked, "Could we start over?"

"Start over? As in you going back to screwing all those chicks? I think we'll have to wait until we come across one because that's what you were doing when we first 'met.'"

"I'm sorry. I was wrong and I knew it but I didn't-" he sighed.

"That was a clucked up chicken ass move on your part. You already condemned me to the loony bin before even having a decent conversation." Tracy ground out.

"And another thing-"

"Alright! I already said I was sorry and now I want some fucking peace." Jonathan burst out.

Tracy held her tongue but was determined that she was going to get back to it later. When you have a grudge sometimes you have to hold onto it for a while. Logic and reason are better tools to aid in an argument. Emotion tends to cloud judgement. Patience is sometimes a virtue but holding onto the bitterness for too long eats away at the vessel you keep it in. Still, she wanted a fresh start too. As much as she wanted to chew his ass out it was wiser to let it go, for now.

Miffed at her own decision, and feeling like she let him off way too easy, she responded with a "Fine!"  and started to walk off.

"Where are you going?"

"To give you some fucking peace." Tracy said, as she continued to walk away.

Jonathan came up behind her.  Wrapping one arm around Tracy's shoulders and the other around her waist, her  heart immediately sped up from having him so close. Resting his chin on Tracy's shoulder, he rubbed his nose into her neck and breathed in deeply.

"You're just like a baby doll. So cute and cuddly." he murmured seductively against her skin, trailing light kisses from her collar to her cheek. All the anger dissipated as Tracy began to hope for a future. Turning her around to face him, Jonathan stroked her cheek.  Then he looked into her eyes before leaning in closer to gently cover her lips with his own. The simple kiss turned into hungry passion before blazing into a lustful inferno. Jonathan pulled her to his body.  Closing any space between them he leaned down to cup her generous bottom. The scent of their desire threw them into a frenzy.  Suddenly a loud howl broke the lust filled moment and they jerked apart.

"What is it?" Tracy asked panting.

Jonathan looked intently towards the piercing noise that was joined by others. "Rogues at the border. We're under attack! Get back to the house." Jonathan said before shifting and racing off into the woods.

"Back to the house my ass." Tracy muttered, taking off in the same direction of the howls.

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