Disclosure [h.s]

24

Evelyn

A week has passed since I was taken away by Vincent and stabbed. Never a week seemed so long in my life.

I had to stay home for the whole time, only leaving to go to the nearest clinic for them to change my bandages of the stab wound. It was healing quickly, hopefully, next week I will be able to resume my life normally. As much as I wanted to go back to normal, it was daunting as well. I was afraid they would find me and hurt me again, even though they have no reason to do it.

But then again, they didn't have a reason to hurt me in the first place, and they still did.

I have had nightmares almost every night.

All I can dream of is Vincent's face as he laughs at me his gold tooth shining in my direction, while he plays with his sharp pocket knife. I always wake up in the middle of the night sweating, and then I am not able to fall asleep again, afraid he will enter my studio in the middle of the night. Part of me knows this is irrational, but I can't help but to be afraid.

Oh and have I mentioned that I haven't seen Harry in a week as well?

I know I was the one who wanted to keep the distance from him, and I truly want to stay away from all this mess. But I never guessed it would be this hard to keep away from Harry. Especially after the sweet kiss he gave me.

How could he kiss me and then walk away? That short kiss awoke so many feelings inside me. As cliché as it sounds, all I could feel were butterflies wandering around my stomach, something I haven't felt in ages, not even with Noah recently. How could a simple kiss have this much effect on me? All I wanted was to kiss him again. Multiple times actually.

After he kissed me, I regretted my decision of staying away from him almost immediately.  I wanted to run away from the trouble Harry was involved in, but somehow, I wanted to keep Harry with me.

How irrational can I be? Harry did the right thing in stepping away, and until this day he never contacted me again. Not even a simple text.

I can't lie and say I wasn't disappointed. At least I thought he would want to know how I was feeling or if I was getting better, but he never called me.

What was I expecting after all? I asked for distance and he is giving me the distance I asked for. He is the one stepping away because he wants me to continue seeing his mother.

The fact that he puts his mother's necessities in front of his is truly heartwarming. The more I get to know Harry, the more I understand he is not the tough boy from the fights. He is so much more than that.

But now I can't get to know him more. It is over before it even started.

I'm trying to convince myself it is the wisest thing to do. But at the same time, all I can think of is Harry, and how his lips felt like against mine, and how kind he was to me. If you compare the Harry I knew at the beginning with the Harry I know now they are two completely different people.

Sometimes when I am drifting off to sleep, I just think about that kiss and it instantly gives me good memories and pleasant feelings.

Harry and I will never see each other again, at least not to maintain a relationship and no matter how much I try to convince me that it is for the best, I still long to see him.

How did I develop feelings for him? I was with Noah the whole time I have known Harry. How wrong is that?

But now I will never know what those feelings were, I will just wonder what might have happened. Well and I'm assuming Harry has these feelings for me as well, which I don't even know if he has.