Disclosure [h.s]

57

Evelyn

"Are you sure you want to go?" Harry asks me after we drop Collin in school on this sunny Monday morning.

It only was a few minutes past eight and we were sitting in the car as Harry waited for my response before he decided where to head to. We had a couple of hours left until we had to go to the hospital to pick up Claire who was going to be discharged at lunchtime. It was both a relief but also nerve-wracking to bring her home.

Harry and I would alternate between us to be with Claire, so she was never alone, even if I was the one who had to stay home most of the times. I didn't want to complain about that, because I care so much for Claire's wellbeing, but I have all my personal problems pilling up and I don't know what to do with my life.

It's like I have to chose between being with Claire or fix my broken life, not that there is much choice to do anyway.

Not having a job anymore brings me so many problems. I have enough money to sustain myself for the next month, but more than that I am in serious trouble. And the fact that until we find Howard we need to be constantly watching Claire doesn't give me much room to find a job.

Not to mention the fact that Claire also lost her own job. She has been absent for too long and her workplace sent a letter to their house informing they were seeking someone new for the role. I knew how much Claire loved that job, and now that was also taken away from her.

At the same time, it would be a huge risk if she went back to work because it made it easier for Howard to find and possibly harm her.

"I have to go." I sigh. "I left some of my things in my office and I have to sign some papers saying I promise to not exercise my profession over the next year." I had a full weekend to get over the fact that I lost my job.

I shed so many tears, I cried so much but now I am surprisingly calm. On the last two days I was a sobbing mess, but now I think I have accepted my fate. As much as I would like to change it and resume my job, one of the things I love the most and which I worked very hard for, it is pointless.

"Alright." Harry simply nods, resuming the drive not complaining about it even if I know he would prefer if I didn't go back there.

After I received the letter saying how I lost my job, Harry softened a little. He didn't have any fights during the weekend so he got to spend most of it with us. He was very patient with me, standing by my side through the many hours I cried, trying to give me suggestions about what I could do next, but I have to be honest and say I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying.

I was spiralling down on the ladder of self-pity, too sad to even get out of it.

"Have you figured out what you are going to do?" Harry asks me and I answer the same I have been saying over the previous few days.

"I have no idea." I lean against the window, looking through it over the busy city of London. "I just know I need to find a job as soon as possible."

How I was going to pay my bills or my rent was still a mystery to me, especially after I had told my dad he could stop sending me money because I was working and making enough money to pay for all my expenses. That didn't work out very well for me in the end.

"You know you can't find a job now." Harry lets out a frustrated sigh after we have had this discussion several times on the last forty eight hours.

Finding a job now would mean Claire was left alone at the house while I was away, meant Collin sometimes had to walk home alone, it meant they were unsupervised. "I know." I simply shrug not wanting to talk about this again.