Bill Skarsgård Imagines

i want her back (2) | bill

I Want Her Back part 2/2

Warning: Mentions of violence and sexual assault
(Y/F/M) = Your/Favorite/Movie

+++

Two weeks had since gone by and (Y/N) was back home, her bruises fading but still there and her cuts all scabbed over. Although she was at home physically, a part of her was not. She was distant, barely spoke, never touched Bill, and when he would touch her, she'd flinch away, it was almost as if she was a ghost. Bill was patient because he knew that one does not just move on from such a traumatic experience as being held captive for three months. Beaten, tortured, and assaulted.

Not talking to him, she had been going to therapy twice a week and still didn't speak. She would pick something in the room and stare blankly at it, showing no emotion in her features or her eyes. As Bill was when she was gone, it was her turn to be empty and numb. 

It was a Friday night and Bill had ordered in pizza from their favorite joint down the street. When it arrived, he plated it, got two beers from the fridge and brought them over to where (Y/N) was sitting on the couch in the living room, wrapped in a blanket with her eyes fixed on the gloomy, rainy evening outside.

He took in a silent deep breath, looking down at her, wondering for the millionth time if there was anything he could say or do to even get a piece of her back. Coming up fruitless, he settled for placing her plate and beer down on the coffee table and taking his seat next to her, leaving at least a foot between them. 

"So, what movie should it be tonight?" He asked, turning the TV on. 

He looked over at her when she didn't answer right away and whether it was a shiver from being cold, or a small shrug, he couldn't tell. She didn't speak. Bill then started browsing the movies.

"Okay, how about . . . (Y/F/M). Haven't seen that one in a while," he said and clicked on it.  

They watched the movie in silence, Bill devouring his pizza whereas (Y/N) had only taken a few bites. He was more focused on her than he was on the movie, constantly looking over hoping to see some sort of emotion flash through her eyes as they lingered on the screen but still nothing. When the movie finished, Bill cleared their plates and went back over to (Y/N).

"Dishes can wait until tomorrow," he said, stood before her. "Bed?" He asked.

Without looking at him, she gave a small nod and got up from the couch, stepping around him, clearly trying to avoid any contact. He shut his eyes, releasing a breath. Bill knew he had to stay strong and remain patient but at the same time, he wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. It was like he was living with a stranger.

Following her into the bedroom, he managed to catch a glimpse of her reflection in the bathroom mirror through the small crack in the door. She took her shirt off and the sight brought tears to his eyes. It was his first time seeing anything but her face since the incident and like her face and arms, it was covered in deep, purple bruises and cuts; cuts that were sure to leave scars. 

He slowly opened the door and she looked up at him through the mirror. The first eye-contact, even if it wasn't direct, in two weeks. Her chin started to quiver again as she held her shirt in her hands and it followed with tears escaping her eyes. Her eyes then shifted down to the shirt.

Bill stepped forward. "Hey," he whispered as he reached for her hand. His fingertips only managed to lightly brush her hand before she pulled away. 

"(Y/N)," he said, trying to prompt her to open up, to talk.

She put the shirt on. "Let's just go to bed. I'm tired," she said before walking past him and climbing into bed. That was the most she has said to him in the past two weeks. 

He got himself ready for bed then went back into the bedroom where (Y/N) was already tucked in, facing the opposite wall with her back to him, how they now usually slept. Not knowing if she was asleep or not, he decided to talk anyway.

"I don't care how long it takes, but my hand is here to hold and my ear is here to listen, whenever you're ready. I love you, (Y/N), and there is nothing in this world that will ever change that," he said, not expecting anything in response, before climbing into the bed next to her. Just as he was about to fall into sleep, he felt (Y/N) shift, turning her body to face his then a small hand gently slide into his. The corners of his lips twitched as his heart swelled. Although it wasn't much, it felt good being able to touch her again.

Bill's eyes fluttered open in the early hours of morning to find the spot in bed next to him empty. The sun still hadn't risen which led to him falling into slight worry. He threw the covers off and climbed out of bed and out of the bedroom to find (Y/N) standing at the living room window, wearing only a t-shirt and leggings. Seeing as though he was cold in his sweatpants and shirt, she must've been even more so. Grabbing a throw blanket from the armrest of the couch, he came up behind her, wrapping the blanket around her shoulders. She flinched but soon relaxed when she realized who it was. She allowed him to circle his arms around her from behind, holding her against his chest.

They stood in silence for a few moments before she spoke. 

"Every day for those three months I wondered if it would be my last," she said, her voice almost a whisper as she kept her eyes on the usual rainy morning. "He beat me. He tortured me. He violated me.  And he would do it until I was on the brink of death. Until I couldn't keep my eyes open and my breaths turned to wheezes. All of the evil in this world existed in that man and I could see it each time he forced me to look into his eyes." She took a deep breath as Bill held her closer as he stiffened. 

"Do you want to know what kept me alive? What brought me back each time?" She asked, turning in his hold to look her husband in the eyes. 

"What?" Bill said.

"You. What brought me back was dreaming about you and I, chasing our kids around this back yard, listening to the little infectious giggles as you swung them around in your arms," she said and now they were both tearing up. "Because I was not going to let the last thing I see before I leave the world be him. I was not going to let him win."

His heart almost exploded with love for her as he leaned down, pressing his lips to her forehead. She let her head drop into his chest as she stained his grey shirt with her tears. Placing his hands on her upper arms, he separated them so he could look at her. 

"Baby, look at me," he whispered. She looked up into his loving green eyes. "You are alive. You are here. Do you understand me? You are whole. I love you, my darling."

She reached up, gently touching his jaw with her fingertips. "Oh, Bill. I love you, too." And then she reached her face up and connected her lips to his and for the first time in a long time, she believed everything he said. She was alive, back in the arms of her beloved, safe. She was whole.

SEXUAL ASSAULT SUPPORT LINE:

Healthy Place:
1-800-656-HOPE (4673)