Henpat oneshots

Anger and regret

Henry pov 

Kill them. Kill them. Kill them. Those words play over and over in my head like a record I can't stop that record. That clown is leading me down a path that I can't come back from I put my trust into him he help me the fear of my dad is now gone the blood wiped every fear I had away but the pain and anger still chained me down the more I tried to break free more and more chains held me. 

Bill. Billy. Pansy. The leader of the losers the one who stood up to me the one I want to strangle the one who knows pain like I do. The lost of his brother stabbed him with pain but he still fought through the pain believing Georgie was still alive he reminded me of me when my mom left me with him. I believed she would come back to me but she didn't she just left me to put up with her hell did she even think of me? 

Beverly. The slut. The whore. The one who threw the first rock at me she's a strong girl stronger than I could ever be. I can't even look at my old man in the eyes anytime I do. All I see is fear. Hate. Anger the same emotions in her eyes now but when I first made eye contact with her I just saw fear just fear the same emotion when I and my mom looked at my dad. 

Richie. Trashmouth. Faggot. The one who humiliated me like my old man and Patrick. The rage filled me I couldn't stop myself from violently beating him like Patrick I feel bad about what I did the blood covered my knuckles am I a monster? This is the path I chosen no he's the one! It's not my fucking fault! It's not! It's his! I didn't deserve this! Tears ran down my bruised cheek was it my fault? Is it my fault everyone hates me? Fears me? 

Stanley. Jew. Flamer. The innocent one I hated him I hated his innocence his stupid religion his stupid name I hate everything about him! I stood over him slamming his face into snow until it bled I felt so satisfied when he bled his face covered in blood as I dropped him into the snow I felt the anger inside me leaving once he started to cry and bleed as I stood over him smiling at my masterpiece I guess I am the bad guy but why me? 

Eddie. Girly boy. Wheezy. The one who made me feel powerless and fear he has a mother who is tricking him dumbass. But at least he has a mother who wouldn't leave me unlike my mom so many similar things we have in common pain. A lost dad. A group. But differences are the ones I don't ignore he only gets pain from me I cause them his dad is dead mine is alive our group are very different mine is stronger and feared his is weak and haunted by their fears. He laughed at his broken arm he laughed at the pain. At me the fear inside me came back as I stood over a boy a little boy that didn't fear pain my power was ripped from me. 

Ben. Fat boy. Tits. The one who hurt me I felt my anger boil as I stared at my failed exam my old man was going to beat me fear overpowered my anger but I felt anger raise as he made a passing grade. At the kissing bridge I had two options let my anger out or let it go and face my dad no! I had to hurt him! He did this on purpose! He failed me so I can get my ass beat! Revenge will satisfy my anger my name will stain him. He'll know who's the fucking boss! Of him! This shitty town! But the feeling of pain stopped me from carving he escaped me but when I saw the fear in my friend's eyes except Patrick I felt angry if belch didn't stop me I would have fucking carve my hold fucking name into his stomach! Why am I letting my anger control me? 

Mike. Homeschool. Outsider. I hate his fucking gut! I fucking hate that piece of shit more than the rest of the losers! I wished it was mike on the bridge instead of tits! I wished I killed him instead of his fucking dog! He made me more angry than my dad. Why am I such a monster!? I killed an animal for what? Respect? For him to be proud? Or to start my dangerous reputation? If I was looking for approval I sure as hell got it along with a dangerous reputation dad was proud gave me my first beer. Mike I felt your anger when I talked about your dead parents how sad I could have done it myself I'm going to kill the person I hate just like his dog I would take pleasure in it along with satisfaction. I know why I'm a monster I was made to be one I was never supposed to be loved but hated and feared! I love being the monster! The big bad wolf! The villain! 

Pennywise. It. My savior. The one who saved me from abuse. Fear. Worry. Anger. It cares about me it needs me it saved me from my past and now from the asylum I feel safe with penny I feel happy around him but when he uses my dead friends he crosses a line he knows it hurts me a lot because I'm the one who caused their death. Am I happy like this? 

Patrick. My friend. My boyfriend. The only one who loved me he held me in his arms kissing my cheek calming me down anytime I become angry or upset. I truly loved him until I slit his throat he touched my cheek as I stabbed him whispering " I'm sorry " I cried feeling the part of me that wasn't bad being ripped out now I'm a hallow shell of the guy I used to be. I'm a lost killer that only feels anger and hate. 

" Henry? Don't be so sad " pennywise laughed his laughter sent shivers down my spine and his white gloved have touched my cheek " remember who saved you Henry I gave you new life your no longer that weak afraid little boy " he was right he did save me from being weak and I'm glad for that. Pennywise picked up one kid's body and ripped the arm out then covered his thumb in blood he turned to me and began to make two line from above my eyebrows  to the corners of my lips making me have a smile like his. Once he finished his work he puts his bloody hand on my cheek smiling showing his sharp teeth " good boy Henry." Do I regret what I did? Yes do I regret what I did to the losers? No I don't I'm fine with how I turned out to be but I'm standing alone with the clown.