Caught In The Cyclone Of Love (COMPLETED)

Chapter - 1

CHAPTER - 1

You are my kryptonite

My dear Brown-eyed beauty,

I seriously try to fight

The goofy smile that tries to peek,

When I see your sparkling smile

I try to compose my meek,

Yet eager heart that goes haywire,

When you throw a casual smile,

That sets my soul on fire.

My mind wants to run away,

Afraid to lose its innocent mate,

Yet you always find a way

To embrace my soul,

With your warm sparkling eyes.

Something strong is in the air

Pulling my heart towards you,

I'm like a sailor drowning

In your pure heart, yet

I want to spend my life time drowning In your smile.

Will you be with me FOREVER?

YOURS FOREVER,

ARJUN

I am reading this letter for the millionth time, yet I can feel his love for me just like it all happened yesterday. Every time I read this all the things that happened almost three years ago hits me like a gust of air. I still can't believe that I have spent two and half years without seeing him. six years ago, I joined the College as an orphan, then he came into my life like a meteor and changed it upside down. He became my first ever relation and gave me hope that world is positive and there is still love and compassion in people's heart.

I didn't know it then, that all the hope and love would be for naught. I still remember the wide smile he would give me whenever I said 'I love you' to him, and how mad he would be when some other guys talked to me. The time I had spent with him was like a wonderland magic full of happiness, love, and hope of finding optimism. It was like I was living in a palace where only love, happiness and positivity existed and where his one smile would light up my whole world, because my world revolved and still revolves around him. Being with him brought only happiness to my fragile heart.

He came into my life to give me fresh air when I was surrounded by a thick and impervious fog of negativity. His love became my living force and he became my savior, but all of a sudden he left me in the middle of nowhere. He left me in this cruel world and I'm forced to conquer all my battles alone. I don't know if he thinks about me or not, even if I wanted to ask him, where would I go and ask, he just left without even a proper goodbye and I'm waiting for him to come to me at least to give me an explanation but I don't know whether I should wait for him or should I move on. I don't know about him but I can't even spend a second in my life without thinking about him.

When I had him in my life everything was so colorful and vibrant that I failed to notice all happiness is temporary and I failed to see the upcoming threat and presented my heart in a silver platter for him to slay it. Even when I was an orphan, I was so careful not to let anyone hurt me, I have suffered many physical hurts but I was so cautious to secure my heart. Still he came into my life, broke all my walls and entered my heart just to crush it as if the pain I was having was not enough to remind me that there could never be happiness, at least not for me.
I have never felt happy in my life, he introduced me to happiness and I have never been sad or lonely in my life like I'm now, not even when I lived in our Home. He made me feel two extreme emotions one for having him in my life and the other because of his unannounced departure from my cocooned life.

When he left me, I could not stay in Bangalore even for a day. My dorm room, classrooms, college campus, the mess and literally every small thing in my small world reminded me of him. It was like I was stuck in a small deoxygenated room with no light and the room was slowly closing up on me and I felt so suffocated even to talk to my friends. Thus, I left everything and came to London two and half years ago, I did not even attend my final semester and wrote my exams online just to avoid going back to a place that would remind me about my three years of relationship with the college's famous bike racer ARJUN SRINIVAS.

The Principal understood my situation and I had no problem with the academic result as I had been a bright student for the past semesters. The only thing I miss is my dance class. It was and still is the only place I could be myself without being judged.

Now I'm living in West London and making a decent living by teaching dance to children all over from Southall and Birmingham. I was able to get a decent apartment in this area all thanks to Mother Maria for talking to her friend who owns this wonderful place which I have been calling home for almost three years.

I have never started my day without reading his letter to me and today is no exception, still it stings to know that we would have been together if he were to listen to me for once that day. It still brings tears to my eyes whenever I think about our last conversation. Anyhow nobody can change yesterday, thus with these thoughts in mind I locked the door of my small and cozy house and made my way to my safe haven.

The morning air was so chilling and I pulled up my hoodie and strode along the streets of Southall Broadway. As I was walking towards building no: 16, Richard St, near FMJ Public House, I saw men and women working out and small children playing with either their parents or pet dogs. The smile that the children were spreading was so mesmerizing and it compelled you to smile too. I wanted to be like them for at least once in my life, I wanted to be carefree and happy and I too wanted to walk with my parents holding their hand and blabbering nonsense about my play school friends and play with my pet dogs just like them. But all I experienced in my childhood was loneliness and then as I grew up much of loneliness.

I could even see young couples sharing their love for each other without minding others and that reminded me of the happy days when I was so happy just like them with my Arjun. As much as I may try, I still can't get him out of my mind. It is like his face and love is engraved in every cell of my body. His vibrant eyes, that spoke a thousand words to me are still lively in my mind and heart. There could be no Sanjana without Arjun and vice versa, still he chose to leave me, it is the fact that hurts me the most. I don't want to forget him too. He is my first ever love, I love him with all my heart and there is no one in this world who could replace him. I could even see old couples holding each other's hands and walking under the shades of trees with so much love visible in their eyes, god why can't I have a happy life just like them. I too want to hold my Ajju's hand and talk about our kids and grandkids as we take a walk in our favorite park. But its not going to happen.

With the plans of trying to avoid thinking about the bitter memories, which of course is a way of thinking about it, I finally reached my dance studio which is the only place I can let all my emotions out. It is the only place that holds all my happy memories. It is a small two-storey building and my studio is on the second floor. My studio is simply decorated with motivational and inspiring quotes and hoardings of famous dancers and the big wall to the west side is decorated with a big beautiful portrait in which a girl who resembles me happily smiles at the camera while the love of her life is hugging her from behind, having a charming smile of his own. It is me, but I don't look like the girl in the photo anymore.

The girl in the photo is full of love but me, I'm just the leftover of what I could gather from my broken life and soul. It was my dream to open my own studio as soon as I finished college and he encouraged me to accomplish it and we designed my future studio together. But now he is not with me to share my joy and there is no joy in my life without him. This studio is the dream of Arjun's Sanjana but that Sanjana is lost in the dark and narrow world, how much I try but I can't bring that girl back. I cleaned the studio and waited for my students to arrive; they should be here any minute as it is a holiday.

    To be continued.....

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POV MEANS POINT OF VIEW

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