Caught In The Cyclone Of Love (COMPLETED)

Chapter - 4

I woke up with a sudden jolt and felt disoriented for a moment. My arms and legs felt so numb that I could not even stand straight. I have slept on the floor all night, shit it hurts like thousand needles are piercing my skin at the same time. I tried to warm my arms and legs up by rubbing them and sat on the bed leaving my ice-cold brooding floor to have a break. It was then, I noticed that it was only four in the morning and the city looked pretty calm and dead except the blinking of the occasional street lights as if threatening the dark about its presence, but how hard it tries, the dark wins the world at last. I had the same nightmare that I get every time I think about my D-day which is pretty much everyday and that is why I had woken up in the first place. It looks like sleep also is not interested in me just like my stars, so I decided to get ready for the day. I did my morning deeds hopped on the shower and cleansed my soar limbs and muscles.

I checked my phone as I made a sandwich for myself and nearly dropped it when I saw the notifications. I had 25 missed calls from Krish and 10 from an un known number, and had more than 100 texts from both Krish and the unknown number guy whom I found out later was Gavin after all. They had both apologized for last night in the texts and Krish was so desperate for my reply even if it is me scolding him. But I am not going to scold him, I can understand his concern for me, but I need sometime to come out of that hurt and I am not going to talk to him until then. That is his punishment. But I called Gavin and told him not to worry about me. He does not know the real me and he does not deserve any punishment. It was only 5:30 when I finished my breakfast, cleaned the kitchen and sat on my small living room sofa to watch some news. I have plenty of time to spend before I go to my studio. I chose the trending Tamil movie on Netflix, which featured an actress of the early times as a married woman with a child and a loving husband, and her heroic struggles to get fame in the narrow-minded society. The movie was good but I don't know when I fell asleep. The credits were rolling when I woke up from my sofa nap and I switched off the tv, washed my face and got ready for my yet another uneventful day.

I read a very simple yet fantastic quote of one of my favorite writers while I travelled on metro to race time, on a website. It explains the life of a normal Indian at its best. Sometimes life is not about what you want to do but what you ought to do. I remember reading this quote in one of his famous books that touched one of the raw nerves of Indian politics. I wish I too had a beautiful happy ending despite all the chaos and tragedies, just like in his books. With that quote in mind I got out of the metro and walked towards my studio.

I came very early today, so I cleaned the studio arranged water and refreshments for the students, played some melody back ground music and decided to look at the brochures for any upcoming competition. When I was reading the last week's brochures, I saw a competition for the under fifteen category and only then did I know that Krish has to accompany the kids for the competition. I was about to let go of my anger and text him to notify about his task, when he himself texted me that he is going to the competition with the kids and he won't be available for the next three days. God, I already miss him. So much for not talking to him. I got up to mark the things that need to be corrected on the correction board and to spend the next three days without Krish.

The day rolled on very slowly as I had no one who would irritate me and also make me smile for no reason. As I was closing the door, I saw Alisa waiting for her mom in the driveway. I walked up to her and she was cracking her fingers, an obvious sign of nervousness. I kept a hand on her tiny shoulders and asked her, "Hey Al, what are you doing here?". "Hi Sanju. I am actually waiting for my mom. She is never late. But I don't know what is taking her this long today. She must be busy, I think". "Don't worry. I will give you company until your mom comes", I told her and to which she hugged me tightly and mumbled a thank you. I saw an ice-cream cart coming our way and dragged Alisa all the way to that cart.

"Sanju you like ice-cream? I too like them so much, but mommy never lets me eat them saying that I might get cavity", she happily shouted and nearly threatened the vendor to give her favorite flavor. "Who cares about tooth ache when you have tasty ice-cream waving its hand at you", having said this I got a chocolate flavored cone while she got a black berry cone. We came back to the sidewalk near the studio where Alisa's mom would be able to find us easily if she were searching for her and started eating the melting heaven in our hands. She was making all the weird sounds while licking her ice-cream and she managed to get some on top of her nose too.

I wiped her nose with my Kerchief and she grabbed my hand and examined it for a long time. "Sanju why do you have the initials A S embroidered on your hand kerchief.", she asked me with an innocent frown on her cute face. I did not answer her; I could not answer her. That kerchief was gifted by Arjun four years ago. He had this habit of giving me all this weird and lovely gifts all the time, this was given by him when we reconciled after a fight. When I did not answer she continued, "S is for your name but what does A mean? Is it the initial of that smiling uncle in the photo", god she is so brilliant at such a young age. Unable to answer her question I slightly nodded my head. As if on time her mother honked her car horn to indicate her of our presence and Alisa hugged my torso, and whispered to me that everything is going to be alright and ran to her mother.

Poor kid she does not know about the sick games of fate and I don't want her to be a victim like me. She has a happy life and I want her to find her fairy tale prince charming and live a happy life forever. She is just a small girl who worries about her Barbie doll's hair and who talks to her teddy bear and cuddles with it when she sleeps. She does not know there are predators worse than the Satan himself, who are lurking in the dark and waiting for a right time to capture the dreams of innocent girls like her. I was like her once. But I could not save myself from drowning in the darkness. she does not deserve a fate like mine, nobody does. I want her to have a beautiful life. She said everything is going to be alright, but it is not going to happen in my case. Not when the only thing that keeps me going is the bitter and terrible memories of my past.

With these thoughts adorning my never resting mind I made my way towards my house and shut the door of both my house and thoughts and got ready to sleep. As I was lying in my bed praying for the sleep to engulf me, I got a call from an Indian number. A number I could not and did not want to ignore. It was Mother Maria from my orphanage in Chennai. We talked for a while and she updated me about the academics of all the kids and all that is happening in my birth place. She calls me often to enquire about my health, but I suspect that she wants to know that I have lost my sanity yet or not. She is the only motherly figure who cares for me. It was pretty late when I cut the call and I fell into a deep sleep, mentally exhausted by all the questions thrown by Mother. She wants me to move on, but I can't and I don't want to move on. I am afraid if I move on, I would forget the most beautiful part of my life.

To be continued.....