Hate To Love You

Part 36

Arnav headed back to his car, got inside and drove off, he dint even know where to go, all he knew was that he dint want to go home, neither did he want to stop at one place, he just wanted to drive and never stop.

He kept on driving on empty roads as tears fell off his eyes, never in his life had he thought that there would come a time when he would feel this sort of pain, it was almost unbearable.

How could Khushi have done this to him? He had no idea what love was until he met her, and now that he was so deeply in love with her, he found out she was doing nothing but lying to him and he hated her for that.

How was it even possible to love and hate a person at the same time?

The worst part of it was that Advik loved her too, and he dint even know if he was ever going to be able to look at her the same way, maybe she was right, she had nothing to do with Advik's death but if it was so, why dint she freaking tell him!

She could have told him and if nothing else at least he wouldn't have been in love with her right now and question himself how he can love her and hate her at the same time.

He was just so angry and so hurt, he wanted to hurt her the way she did so she could know how much she had hurt him.

He turned on the radio hoping some music would help but as if the entire world was conspiring against him, making sure he dint feel better, the song that was playing even connected so much to his situation.

He had never heard it before but the lyrics were so deep, he turned the volume up and concentrated on each and every word.

I hate you, I love you, I hate that I love you...

Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you...

You ever wonder what we could've been?

You said you wouldn't and you did...

lied to me, lied with me, get your fix...

Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all mixed...

"Why Khushi why?" Arnav shouted angrily as he pulled the car aside and parked it on the empty roadside, each and every part of his body felt like it was in pain.

Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing...

Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges, Just to create some distance...

I know that I can't control my thoughts, And I should stop reminiscing...

But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings...

"You have no idea what you've done Khushi! You broke everything in me, you broke my trust and broke me too, what am I supposed to do now? You left so easily after telling me I have a weak to choose but what do I choose? I loved Advik so much I never thought he would leave me like this but he did.
I loved you and thought you'd never hurt me like this but you also freaking did it! What am I supposed to do when the people I love always end up hurting me? Tell me Khushi, what am I supposed to do when I hate the fact that I am in love with you?

When love and trust are gone...I guess this is moving on,

Everyone I do right does me wrong...

So every lonely night... I sing this song...

I hate you, I love you, I hate that I love you...

Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you...

He turned the radio off because listening to this song was doing no good, it was just reminding him more and more of the betrayal of the people he loved the most.

He stepped out of the car and leaned against it standing in the cold breeze of the night as he shut his eyes in pain.

Flashback.

"Bro, open the door please." Advik pleaded as he knocked at the door of Arnav's room continuously, Arnav was seated inside his room not wanting to talk to anyone.

Mia tried talking to him but he refused to open the door, no wonder she called Advik here because she knew that Arnav wouldn't listen to anyone else apart from Advik.

"I'll stay here all night if you don't open the door, you know I'm capable of it!" Advik said as he continued knocking, knowing his brother, Arnav knew he was just as stubborn as him and he wasn't going to leave until he talked to him.

So he stood up and headed to unlock the door, he unlocked it and walked back to his bed as Advik followed him.

"Why do you let him do this to you? Why do you give him the power to?" Advik asked as he sat down beside him.

"He's our father Advik, I have no choice than to respect his choices." Arnav replied sadly.

"Just because he is our father doesn't always mean he's right bro, how many times has he done this to you? and you let him control your entire freaking life!" Advik looked at him angrily.

"He wants me to get married to Meera, he's given me a week's time. I don't want to marry her Advik, I feel nothing towards her, I don't even like her presence, how can I marry her when I don't want anything to do with her?" Arnav asked.

"Then tell him that on his damn face, he can't force you for this, first of all he forced you to study in the same school with her, he forced you to do a course you dint want to, he even forced you to date her and you just agreed and he knows you'll never say no to him so he's just controlling your life, so now he's forcing you to marry her, this has to stop bro.

Look at me, if you never say no, he would keep on controlling your life, making you do what he wants and my brother isn't that weak, I know that so you should go and tell him on his face that you won't marry Meera.

If you can't do that I will do it for you but I'm not going to let you marry that girl if you don't want to, I'll do something terribly wrong so it's upon you, you'll either tell him or I'll do it for you and you know my ways of getting things done." Advik said.

"I will try to talk to him." Arnav nodded.

"Good. You know bro, I love you so much, you're such a great person and I'm sure one day you'll meet a girl that you will fall in love with and want to get married to and I'm sure she'll be just as great as you so don't deny yourself the chance." Advik smiled at him.

"What would I have done without you in my life Advik? I'd just be a lost person" Arnav smiled.

"Well the good news is, you have me and I'm always going to be there." He smiled back.

"You won't leave me alone ever, promise?"

"I promise, now come on cheer up and go give dad some words of wisdom." He laughed.

Flashback Ends

"You promised you won't leave Advik and you did. Left your brother in this world alone, what am I supposed to do without you? I know I'm elder than you but I still need my little brother with me.

Why did you do it? You were always the strong person, you always motivated everyone, even me then what was it that compelled you to do something like this? I still don't have my answers.

Do you even have an idea what it felt like holding you in my arms, rushing you to the hospital hoping that you were okay? It was so freaking scary." He fell down on his knees and broke down into tears.

Flashbacks

"Advik, you've been inside the bathroom for over an hour, come out or I'll come inside and get you out myself." Arnav shouted from Advik's room.

He had come to talk to Advik, to tell him that he was finally going to talk to his father regarding Meera, but he dint find him in his room, he heard the sound of the shower in the bathroom so he figured he must be taking a shower and decided to wait.

He waited for what seemed like forever, his patience was coming to an end, he stood up and walked towards the door, he knocked at the door slightly and it opened up a bit.

"I'm coming inside Advik, you better be dressed." Arnav warned before he pushed it open and walked inside but as soon as he stepped in, he was left in shock.

His brother was lying in the bathtub, his hand hanging outwards and beneath it was a pool of blood. Arnav rushed towards him and bent down looking at his wrist that was still bleeding.

"Advik!" Arnav screamed in shock and pain, he couldn't believe he was seeing his own brother lying here like this.

Loving and fighting, accusing denying, I can't imagine a world with you gone...

The joy and the chaos, the demon we're made of, I'd be so lost if you left me alone...

You locked yourself in the bathroom, lying on the floor when I breakthrough...

I pull you in to feel your heartbeat, can you hear me screaming please don't leave me...

hold on I still want you, come back I still need you...

Arnav pulled him out of the bathtub, carried him in his arms and he rushed downstairs hurriedly, he got inside his car and drove to the hospital straight, it felt like a nightmare he couldn't escape from, he felt scared, he felt everything inside him hurting so much, all the way he kept on hoping that his brother was going to be fine.

Once he arrived at the hospital, the nurses rushed to help him, the placed Advik's body of a stretcher and took him inside while Arnav paced around, his shirt covered in blood just hoping and praying that he was going to be okay.

The doctor walked out after a few minutes and stopped in front of Arnav, he felt numb for a moment, he just hoped everything was okay.

"I'm sorry, he's no more." The doctor said breaking his heart.

"NO!" Arnav screamed out in pain as he rushed inside to see his brother, trying to wake him up.

"Advik! No! This can't be true, you can't leave me like this, wake up, please!" Arnav shook him, he tried all he could, but Advik lied there still without any movement.

Flashback Ends.

"Why Advik? Why is it that the people I love the most end up hurting me terribly? Firstly you and now Khushi... What am I supposed to do here?" Arnav asked but only if his brother was around to answer his endless questions.

Nothing was ever going to be the same again, not without Advik in his life, not without Khushi in his life, but he had learnt how to live with his brother gone and he guessed, he could learn how to live without Khushi too, because there was no possible way he thought he could forgive her for what she did to him.