Hate To Love You

Part 35

Khushi looked at him nervously not knowing where to start from, on the other side Arnav seemed least interested, he was behaving really different than usual and it was scaring her more.

"Khushi can you start speaking? I can't sit here forever." Arnav looked at her angrily.

"Arnav! Can't you see how hard this is for me and you're making it more difficult for me by behaving like this." Khushi said to him, he looked at her and inhaled a deep breath trying to calm himself down but he was done staying calm.

"It's about Advik isn't it?" He asked, she opened her eyes wide in surprise and stared at him in complete shock. Did he know about this from before? Or did Arjun tell him about it? What was going on?

"How do you know?" Khushi asked.

"I bumped into Meera just when I was leaving from office to come here, that's why I was late. She told me that you are the girl Advik was in love with." He said as he clenched his fists tightly, he seemed to be getting angry but every time he tried to calm himself down.

"How did Meera find out?" Khushi asked herself in surprise, there was no way Arjun would have told her about it but she knew, which means there was a way she did find out about it, but what was surprising that Arnav still came here.

"That's not the point Khushi, the point is you lying to me, you pretending not to have an idea who the hell Advik Raizada was while you are the reason he's dead!

God! How couldn't I see it? I was so blind, and you kept on playing games with me like you played with him." Arnav said.

"I dint lie to you about anything Arnav, I just dint tell you the truth and it wasn't like I was never going to tell you, we were here right now to talk about that." Khushi explained.

"Why do you think I am here even after learning the truth from Meera? I should'nt have never shown up but unlike you Khushi, I understand my responsibilities.

I am here to listen to your part of truth but I won't deny that you keeping it from me did hurt, so bad." His eyes became moist.

"I am sorry Arnav, believe me, my intention was never to keep the truth from you." Khushi said sadly, she grabbed his hand and pressed it between hers but he pulled it off, he was really angry about this.

"But that's what you exactly did Khushi! God! I am so angry on you and on myself, I am angry for trusting you, for thinking that you'll never break my heart and that's what you did. And now you're here apologizing for what you did to Advik as if it's going to bring my brother back." He said angrily.

"Excuse me, are you blaming your brother's death on me Arnav! You did hear his part of story but you're judging me without knowing mine!" Khushi said angrily, he had no right to blame her for Advik's death.

"Why the hell do you think I am here then Khushi? Because as stupid as this might sound, I love you and I want to know why you did this, why you hid everything from me and acted like you knew nothing about Advik." Arnav said.

"Arnav, I did come to talk to you about it at your office that day, but you misunderstood things and thought I was there for a job, I really needed a job then so I couldn't deny it and I thought maybe if I work with you it would be easier to tell you the truth.

But every time I tried something came up and I couldn't tell you about it, I know it's my fault I accept it and if you want me to, I would apologize for it but what I won't apologize for is what happened with Advik.

He was your brother and you have all the rights to be angry about what happened to him but I am a girl Arnav and I have all the rights to say a simple 'NO'.

I dint go running around him asking him to love me or anything, he was the one that approached me and I clearly refused, but I did that with respect, it's not my fault that your brother wasn't ready to take a simple no for an answer.

He asked for us to be friends and I agreed but I was very clear to him that I don't feel anything of such sort towards him and I might never, but he wanted to give it a try so we were friends and in the short period we were friends, I would say he was really a great guy.

Advik was a good guy Arnav and I don't know why he committed suicide but if I was the reason anywhere then I don't accept the blame because I had been nothing but honest to him, I wasn't even harsh to him, so there is no way in hell you can blame me for your brother's death." Khushi shouted at him angrily.

Yes it was understandable that he was hurt but it wasn't understandable that he was blaming her for it.

"If you aren't the one to be blamed, you shouldn't have kept the truth from me Khushi. When you were so freaking sure that you were right, you should have told me the damn truth!

You shouldn't have waited for me to fall in love with you and then let it out to me because you'd be sure then that I love you so much, in the end I'll forgive you for it.

If that's what you thought Miss. Khushi Gupta then you are wrong, I might forgive you for what happened to Advik because if what you're saying is the truth then I have no reason to blame you, but how do I forgive you for keeping this from me?" He looked at her as tears rolled down his eyes, he fell down on his knees as Khushi rushed towards him to help him.

"The Arnav that loves you really wants to get past it all Khushi, trust me, but the other Arnav doesn't want to because I don't think I'll ever be able to trust you again and I don't want a relationship where there's no trust.

Every day in my life I'd be thinking you're keeping something from me again and I don't want to live like that Khushi.

I am sorry Khushi, maybe my brother wasn't strong enough to take a no from a girl and I know it might not be your fault but I don't think I'd ever be able to look at you the same way again, every time I'd look at you, it would remind me of him and why I lost him and I don't want that." Arnav said as he looked her into the eyes.

"Are you breaking up with me Arnav? Is that what you're trying to do?" Khushi looked at him feeling scared, she thought he was going to understand that nothing of this was her fault but here he was breaking up with her.

"Yes Khushi, I am breaking up with you because I can't do this anymore. Right now I hate you more than I love you, and as a human being I'd always understand that it wasn't your fault but as a brother, every time I'd look at you, I'd look at Advik and that would make me hate you more than I love you." Arnav said.

"So is this why you said you loved me? So one day you can leave me because of your brother? I might have been wrong in keeping the truth from you Arnav but..."

"That's the problem Khushi don't you see it? You kept the damn truth from me! I fell for you without knowing the truth and that isn't right." Arnav looked at her angrily.

Khushi looked at him in disbelief for a moment, she couldn't believe that the same man who loved her was doing this to her, how could he? That too for reasons he couldn't even justify?She moved closer to him and grabbed his collars as she looked him into the eyes with pain and anger.

"Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada, you can't break up with me because of your brother, that isn't a reason strong enough! It wasn't my fault that your brother loved me and I couldn't love him back, you want to know what my fault was? That I fell in love with you!

I thought you might get angry but you would understand me, you would understand that I never did anything wrong but here you are, breaking up with me because of him.

Tell me Arnav, what was my fault in it? Was it my fault that I couldn't love him? Was it my fault that I fell in love with you instead? You can't give me stupid reasons like this and break up with me, I am not going to accept it!" Khushi shouted at the top of her voice.

"You have to accept it Khushi! You kept the freaking truth from me and it might not be a big deal for you but it is for me! Do you have any idea what I've been through since Advik passed away? Every day I sit in my room and think about everything that might have caused this, but until today I haven't been able to find a closure.

I told you Khushi, I understand that it wasn't your fault, but if you hadn't kept the truth of me, I would have found a closure, and I wouldn't live every day of my life trying to figure out what compelled my brother to take his own life." Arnav said.

"It wasn't my fault that your brother was weak!" Khushi said angrily.

"Yes, but it was your fault that you dint tell me that earlier. You haven't spent your nights wide awake like me wondering where you went wrong in understanding your brother. The problem isn't that he committed suicide Khushi, the problem is you never told me about this, if you did, I wouldn't have stayed awake all those nights wondering like a crazy person.

Your one truth could have taken a lot of my miseries away but you chose to keep it to yourself. I know you don't understand me right now Khushi, but if there's anything I hate in this world is being lied to, or being kept in the dark, you have no idea how that feels like and once again, you made me feel the same freaking way and I don't think I'd be able to forgive you for that."

"So that's it then? This was your love? You loved me only this much that you would break up with me because I kept the truth from you Arnav? You can't do this to me, I don't deserve this and you know it." Khushi shouted.

"I know Khushi, I know you don't deserve it, but what you forgot was that I dint deserve this too." He said sadly, she looked at him in disbelief for a moment and then stood up.

"I get it Arnav, I get it that you're hurt and maybe I understand it better than anyone else and because I love you so much, I'll let you make the choice.

You have a week Arnav, decide what you want, if you want me out of your life I promise I'll leave and when I leave I'll not return, not even someday in future when you think you want me back in your life and try to convince me.

I mean this Arnav, I know it was my fault that I kept the truth from you and for the sake of that, I am deciding to keep everything aside and give you one last chance, the choice is yours, you'll either have me back with you by next week or I'll either leave and never come back because I don't want to live in pain for the rest of my life thinking things would have worked out differently.

The choice is yours and unlike what your brother did to me, I promise I'll respect your choice because everyone has a right to make their choice." Khushi said as she turned around to leave but she stopped and turned to look at him once again.

"And just so you know, I don't know why Advik chose to do what he did, but I will never accept that any of it was my fault." Khushi said as she walked away leaving a broken Arnav behind.