Hate To Love You

Part 41

"So will you marry me?" Arnav asked once again.

"Yes Arnav I will." She smiled at him faintly, he stood up trying to smile but he couldn't smile much, he took the luggage from her and headed back towards the car.

"I'll drop you home." He said.

"Don't give yourself much trouble, I am staying back, I'll go home with the girls, you should go home and rest, I'll see you later?" Khushi smiled at him faintly.

"Okay, I'll talk to mom and dad soon about this." He said, he inhaled a deep breath and headed back to his car where Arjun was waiting for him, he got inside and drove back home silently, all the while Arjun kept on staring at him but Arnav dint say anything.

Once they arrived at the Raizada mansion, Arnav parked the car and walked out as he headed straight to his room, Arjun followed him.

"What are you trying to do Arnav?" Arjun asked him, Arnav sat on the bed and looked at him pretending like he had no idea what Arjun was talking about.

"What am I doing?" Arnav asked.

"Don't act like that, I have been your best friend forever, I know you more than anyone else and I know you aren't happy with this decision you've made. I know you are hurt and right now all you feel for Khushi is hatred, then why? Why did you ask her to marry you when you haven't even forgiven her yet? What are you trying to do Arnav?" Arjun asked.

"Arjun it seems like you aren't happy that I asked Khushi to marry me, dint you want me to marry her?" Arnav asked.

"Arnav, It's your life and your decision to make and I know Khushi is such a great girl but then I also know that you love her a lot and she's hurt you and when a person you love like that hurts you, it hurts too deep to heal so soon. You are hurt, you are broken from the inside and here you are trying to pretend that nothing is hurting you.

Arnav I know after all that happened with Khushi, you can't even bring yourself to trust her again so you forgiving her is like almost impossible and in between all this chaos you ask her to marry you, I don't get you at all, what exactly are you trying to do?

You stopped her from going, you asked her to marry you and she agreed and despite it all I still can't see the happiness, why aren't you happy if this is what you wanted? I am right am I not? You still haven't forgiven her for keeping the truth about Advik right?" Arjun asked.

"Yes Arjun you are right, I haven't forgiven her but, I couldn't lose her either, she is the only one that has loved me like this, and I am desperate for love Arjun. All this is not that easy for me but what do I do? I couldn't let her go, with every step she took away from me, I felt like something inside me was breaking apart" Arnav said.

"Arnav look at me, if you want things to work out you'll have to get out from here, you can't always be stuck to the fact that she kept the truth from you, you have to move on from it, you have to forgive her but I know you haven't so I don't even understand why you asked her to marry you, it's not fair, what are you really trying to do Arnav?"

"I don't know Arjun, I also don't know what I am doing, I dint even know until I saw her leaving and I knew I couldn't lose her. All I knew was that if I lost her, I was going to lose myself, she's the one that has hurt me like that and she's the only one that can heal me.

I just couldn't let her go knowing that I might never see her again, but then I am also hurt and I can't forgive her for that either so I don't know what to do with this damn life of mine, everything is just a mess." Arnav said sadly.

"Maybe the wound is fresh right now that's why it hurts so much, with time it will heal, don't worry if not today, maybe one day you'll be able to forgive her." Arjun said realizing how hard his best friend was battling with himself.

"Will it be possible?" Arnav looked at him hopefully, it wasn't like he dint want to forgive her, he just couldn't, only if she knew what Advik meant to him and what she had done to him by keeping the truth from him.

"This too shall pass Arnav, everything will be okay one day."

"Hopefully." Arnav sighed, Arjun smiled at him as he stood up and walked away leaving Arnav alone. Arnav stood up from the bed and walked around his room impatiently, he stopped in front of the mirror and looked at his reflection.

"Will everything be okay like Arjun said? Will I ever be able to forgive her?" He asked himself, but he really dint have an answer to his question, he was trapped between loving her too intensely to let her go and hating her too much to forgive her.

*****

Arnav walked out of his room hoping he would go sit outside in the garden and get some fresh air, staying inside his room just felt kind of suffocating.

He was on the staircase when he saw Khushi walk in the mansion, he stopped where he was and looked at her silently.

"Hey." She smiled at Arjun and Mia who were in the hall discussing something.

Arjun stood up to greet her when his eyes fell on Arnav, he looked at her for a moment then back at Khushi.

"Is Arnav home? I wanted to talk to him?" She asked, she was really nervous at the moment. Arjun looked at Arnav once again as Arnav nodded at him negatively.

"No, I don't think he's around." Arjun shrugged.

"Oh okay, I'll leave then." She smiled but the sadness was visible on her face, she turned around and walked out of the mansion slowly as Arnav stood in his place battling with his own mind.
Arjun looked back at him wondering what he was up to.

All of a sudden, he rushed downstairs and straight out of the mansion, Khushi was just walking out of the gate when he called her name.

"Khushi!" She stopped and turned to look at him as a small smile curved up on her face, he walked towards her and stopped right in front of her.

"You were here to see me?" He asked.

"Yeah, but Arjun said you weren't around so I was leaving."

"He dint know I was around, anyway tell me why are you here? I thought you were going home to rest."

"I was, I went home and unpacked but I just couldn't stop thinking about this, I was scared that maybe you said whatever you wanted in the heat of the moment and maybe you will change your mind later. I am scared of losing you." She said sadly.

"I won't change my mind Khushi don't worry about it." He smiled at her.

"I don't know, something just doesn't feel right." She looked worried, Arnav actually wanted to agree with her, things weren't really right but he was hoping they would be right soon.

"Khushi, you're thinking too much, relax okay. You know what? You should go home and rest, I'll talk to my parents tonight then come meet you tomorrow morning and tell you how it all went, come I'll drop you home myself." Arnav grabbed her hand and pulled her along to the car, she just stared at him speechlessly and followed him, maybe she was just overthinking things, maybe things were actually fine.

Tu hi bata mere maula, tu hi bata mere rabba...

They both got in the car as he drove her home, all the while, he just kept silent, he dint say anything, he would only answer her in case she asked him something but that was it.
Once they arrived he parked the car and rushed to open the door for her.

Faasle milon ke hai, dono hai alag hi disha,

Kabhi yeh milpayenge, nahi kisiko hai pata...

Tu hi bata mere maula, tu hi bata mere rabba...

"Thank you." Khushi smiled at him as she moved closer and wrapped her arms around him hugging him, he stood there still, he couldn't even bring himself to hug her back, he tried to but something inside him wouldn't just allow him to, how was he ever going to be able to forgive her?

Na paas aa sake, na door jaa sake,

Agar pyar inko kheenche, takrar inko roke,

Yun to bade hai inke kadam, inhe raasta tu hi dikha...

"So, I'll see you tomorrow." She broke the hug and waved a goodbye at him, she headed inside feeling strange about everything, it all seemed fine yet didn't feel fine.

Arnav got back inside the car and sat there for a while, there were a lot of thoughts running on his mind at the moment.

"What the hell is wrong with you Arnav? You asked her to marry you, and you can't even hug her back! Stop doing this, just because she hurt you doesn't mean you have to hurt her back." He said to himself and he punched the steering wheel angrily.

He really wanted to make this work, he wanted to get married to her and have a happy life but his inner battle with himself was ruining things for him, it wasn't as easy at it seemed. Yes it did look like he was making a big deal about it all, but he wasn't.

Advik had been so important to him, he was the only person that genuinely loved and cared about him and then he lost him, it was like losing the only person that made you happy so you knew without them you'll never be happy.

He was broken, all he wanted to do was find the girl who caused this and punish her, but then when he heard Khushi's point of view he realized it wasn't her mistake, maybe the situation wasn't right.

He dint really hate her because his brother loved her and she rejected him, it was her right to choose her partner, what hurt him was that she hid it from him. She waited until he was stupidly in love with her then told him the truth.

If she had told him before at least he wouldn't have fallen for her so deeply, and neither would it hurt him as much as it was hurting at the moment.

Tu hi bata mere maula, tu hi bata mere rabba...

Iss Pyaar ko kya naam doon? Iss pyaar ko kya naam doon?

He switched on the engine and drove back home, he was trying really hard to make things between them both normal, but it was just the first day of them being back together and he was feeling this way about her, how was he ever going to forgive her?

How was he ever going to be normal with her like he was before he found out the truth about her and Advik? All he knew was that he couldn't afford losing her but then at the same time, he wasn't himself when he was with her, all he could think about was the truth and that she waited to tell him after he was in love with her, why couldn't she have told him before? Now everything was just freaking ruined!