Be My Lover

The Dark Side Of The Rainbow

Arizona's POV

We are going on a trip. I'm so excited! Sadly Sofia has the flu and we can't bring her with us but April is taking care of her! We are going to have 5 days to ourselves! Yes! As Amelia started driving, I wondered. Would she want kids? Maybe if I bring it up now, she'd like it. She seems like she's in a good mood. She seems happy, healthy... just amazing. So, I spoke up.

"Amelia what do you think about having babies?" I asked her. She squinted her eyes at the road and waited a couple seconds to stop at the red light.

"What?" She laughed incredulously.

"Like, do you want them?" I ask her again.

"Snotty babies who puke over everything?" My eyes narrowed at her and my heart stopped. "Not really, I mean kids are great and all but I'm not really looking for a kid." She scoffed. I sat there still until I felt her hand onto my thigh. "Sweetheart? Is something wrong?"

"Nothing... just um... why don't you want them? I mean, I didn't want them before but now I have Sofia and.." I get cut off by her.

"Wait, are you saying you want kids with me?" She laughed once more and gave a stare. I gulped. Just say it, Robbins!

"Well, yeah. You know. They are beautiful, miraculous. Amazing. It's.. it's a life. But tiny sized." I smiled at her. She never smiled back. Instead, she kept driving and never said a word to me for an hour. "Amelia?"

"Hm?" She says angrily. "What?"

"Why don't you want—"

"God, Arizona! Just shut up! Just shut up about babies and kids, and teenagers who get themselves in trouble and go on drugs. Just shut up about that shit, cause I told you I don't want them!" She yelled unexpectedly. My heart was shoved into my throat. Tears threatened to fall down, and they did. "You already know what happened with my baby Christopher. I... I don't wanna go through that ever again! You were the first person who actually understood me!" She stopped the car in the middle of the street without any cars driving by. She turned to face me. "I thought you were different! I thought you could actually understand my life decisions! Instead, you go against them. Just like everybody else! You're just like Owen!" She yells at me with tears in her eyes. I should have never brought anything up. Damn it. Damn it, damn it! She keeps driving and doesn't even bother to look at me as we get to the hotel.

"Amelia.." I say in a raspy voice as she parks the car. She doesn't answer me but just slams the car door, getting out. "Amy, wait." I pull on her jacket, making her pull herself forward and out of my reach. "Amelia, please just wait." She finally turns around.

"What the hell do you want, Arizona?" I can tell she's angry by the look in her eyes.

"Don't be angry please." I try to hug her but she just shoves me away. "Amelia," I breathe out, crying.

"Shut up!" She yells at me. "You don't get to cry, you have no damn idea what I feel like! You and Owen both want babies, I don't want any! So please, just shut up!"

"I..." I see a light shining, blinding my eyes. I realized Amelia was already on the road to cross to the other side but the car is right there. No, no, no! "Amelia, stop!" I run to her but it's too late. A loud screech is made and I hear her body hit the ground. I look around, finding myself dizzy and the place blurry. She's under the car. Blood. There's so much blood. This... this is all my fault.