Panic Attacks // Ruel // English

Chapter 40

*Saturday*
The smell of coffee and the sound of people talking keep me from wandering into my mind while I wait. At the very back in the corner by the window I sit behind the table with my laptop unfolded. Time is ticking slower and slower. It seems like I've been here for an hour, but when I look at the time, I've only been here for half an hour. I haven't been waiting for half an hour, I was busy with work. But I have an appointment at half past four. Brady hooked me up with Nate who needs a photographer. For what? No idea. I think I will find out.

I hear the ringing of the bell when the door of the cafe opens. My mind is focused on the email to write, so forget to look up.

???: "Hey, Yasmine is it right?" I hear a man's voice ask.
I look up from my laptop and look in the direction where his voice came from.

There is a grown man right by my table.
Yasmine: "Yes, that's right." I say while extending my hand.
Nate: "Nate." He says as he shakes my hand.

He turns a quarter turn and I can see past him to the back. With wide eyes I look at the boy, who is standing nervously diagonally behind him. There is regret in his eyes. My heart starts to beat faster and I actually want to get out of here as soon as possible. I've been trying to avoid him for the last few days, it wasn't going very well but I tried. Next to him is a woman with black hair and a few tattoos on her arm. And then I get the feeling that they both belong to Nate.

I put on a mask and put a friendly smile on my face. As much as I would like to leave now, I will have to face it.

Yasmine: "Yasmine." I say when I also reach out to the blond boy. He takes my hand and just when he does I tighten my grip and turn my hand in a dominant way. My eyes look at him intently and fiercely.
Ruel: "Ruel." He introduces himself. Sure I know who he is. But I think it's better for both of us if the others doesn't know.
He is nervous and does not really know what to do, I notice that in everything.

Then I get a soft look in my eyes again when I shake hands with the woman who introduces herself as Michelle.

I offer them the place in front of me and then take a seat myself. Michelle is sitting on the side of the window.  Ruel is sitting across from me and Nate is on the corner. I pull out a few documents on my laptop and start looking straight into Ruel's eyes.

His hands are shaking quietly and he is massaging the inside of his palms. Signs of fear. When he realizes that I am looking at his hands, they disappear under the table.

Yasmine: "Okay, so you should have been in touch with Brady. Is that right?" I ask Nate. Leaving Ruel alone.

Maybe it's scary that I can switch moods so quickly. Or that I can hide emotions so well. But you will learn that when you really need it.

Nate: "That's right."

I give an affirmative nod and then check my laptop.

Yasmine: "Would you like to give me a little extra information about what you guys want to do?"

I open a document from my laptop in which I am going to write a few things.

Nate: "We would like you to take the press photos of Ruel. Normally Michelle would do that, but she thinks it would be nice to have someone else do it too."

I look straight into Ruel's eyes.

Yasmine: "May I ask what the press photos are for?"

Ruel: "I have a singing career." He says with a trembling voice.

Yasmine: "Okay." I try to say as neutral as possible. But inside my blood starts to boil. He just lied to me. A very big lie. Another small piece of my heart breaks off. I can feel it fall and disappear in my gut. I want to confide in him with all my heart. But every time I try to do that it goes wrong. It hurts me. And sometimes I wonder why I still keep going.