Panic Attacks // Ruel // English

Chapter 71

TRIGGER WARNING

It is the middle of the night and suddenly I see the light go on in front of my eyelids. Confused, I open my eyes with difficulty and look directly next to me as I sit up. Ruel is no longer next to me. The blanket is flung to my side and is crumpled on the bed. Just as I turn my head to the hotel room hallway, someone comes rushing towards me. I recognize his dark devilish eyes, the big scar on his hand that is moving at breakneck speed in my direction. I am pressed into the bed by the two hands that wrap around my throat, which close my windpipe. I can still scream, but I don't have much air left. I start to gasp. I try to fight back with all my strength, but he holds me too tight. My hands cling to his arms but I can't get them free. His grip tightens and closes my windpipe even more. I can feel his strong fingers pressing into my neck, leaving a nasty bruise. My head is all red. Everything happens too fast. He was here too soon and he's leaving too soon. With the goal he had achieved. Take my life. I can not hear myself, I can't hear myself in pain.

(Ruel's pov)
My feet are connected to the stone cold tiles in the bathroom as I look at myself through the mirror in the dark when I wash my hands. My eyes take on an alert look when I hear someone not getting air. She's choking. I've never run so hard, run for her life. The bathroom door flies open and slams against the wall. I go to the side of the bed where Yasmine is lying and find her on her side, her chest turned more towards the floor below. Her hands are at her neck, as if holding something back. The sweat is on her forehead and her body is glowing red.

Ruel: "Yasmine. It's a nightmare. You're safe." I call, in a reassuring but alert voice. Hoping she will hear my voice.

I dare not touch her, later I will make her dream worse. But soon she won't be able to breathe at all. I want to put my hands on my ears, close my eyes and walk away from my worst fear. My heart breaks to pieces. She won't die in front of my eyes.

I kneel down next to the bed as I take a deep breath. I have to keep calm myself or else I'll drive myself crazy.

I put a hand on her heart, it has the speed of a Formula 1 car, which just flies out of the corner and is about to catch fire. My hand goes to her cheek, behind her ear. My thumb strokes her cheek soothingly, but she doesn't respond. She normally shoots out of her nightmares very quickly. It scares me. I can't lose her, not like this.

Ruel: "Yas!" I call again.

It seems like ages, but just one minute has passed.

I get up and sit next to her on the bed. I grab her by the arms and shake, but I don't get the response I was hoping for. She doesn't seem to be able to breathe. That's how it is.

I bend over her and rest my forehead against hers. My hands gently hold her face at the sides. I feel the tears welling in my eyes and the courage sinking in my shoes.

Ruel: "Please Yas wake up. I can't lose you. Please please please please." I keep begging. My words are weakening. The more I beg her to come back to relativity, the more I break. My tears mingle with hers as they fall on her face.

Ruel: "I'm with you." I say softly as I then press a kiss on her forehead.

Then a very big breath is taken. Bags of thousands of weights fall off my shoulders. Her chest shakes as she breathes, but she's still alive. She's in shock, but I'm in touch.

Yasmine: "Ruel?"
Ruel: "It was a nightmare. You're safe with me." I say softly as I sit up and hold her trembling hands in mine.

Yasmine sits up and pulls her legs to her chest as she tucks her head between her knees and tries to breathe. I rub her back soothingly. Her body continues to shake. From the tears, from her fear, from breathing.