Panic Attacks // Ruel // English

Chapter 17

I walk past Ruel and am greeted by Wilbur.
Yasmine: "Hey sweetie." I say as I scratch him behind his fluffy ears.
I hear Ruel giggling behind me and he walks towards the kitchen.

I don't have to go to the bathroom at all and Sylvie knows that too. Still she walks with me and we stop at the door.

Sylvie: "Did you really pick them up?" She asks gently, so that nothing else can hear it.
Yasmine: "Yes, why?"
Sylvie: "I think it's better if you don't read them."
Yasmine: "Why not? There is a police report in it."
Sylvie: "That's the point. I read it and it didn't make me very happy."
I look at her in surprise because I have no idea why I shouldn't read it. They couldn't make it that bad after all.
Sylvie: "It can give you a backlash and that's exactly what you don't need."

Sylvie: "Look you can read it. I can't stop you, but read it with someone. So with me or next week with your therapist."
I nod and we walk back to the front door.
I look outside through the window and see that it has suddenly started to rain very hard.

Ruel: "Are you sure you want to walk?" He asks laughing.
He suddenly stands behind me, which startles me.
Yasmine: "Yes, but not with the rain."
Laughing, he looks out the window where the raindrops fall from the sky.
Ruel: "I'll bring you home."
Yasmine: "Thank you."

* Next day at school *
Hastily I take my books out of my locker, quickly remove the key from the lock and walk to the classroom as quickly as possible. I'm already 30 minutes late because my lawyer called me this morning. He should have chosen a different time because this is not convenient.

I open the door of the classroom and quickly look at the clock.
Teacher: "So Yasmine, 30 minutes late."
Yasmine: "Mister I called school that I was later." I say in a hurry.
Teacher: "You called by yourself, your parents should call."
I roll my eyes, because my parents would never call school. Certainly not for such a speech as this morning.
Yasmine: "Sir, can we discuss this outside."
Subtle wise with my thumb to the hall behind me. But he shakes his head.
Teacher: "You are going to report for too late."
Yasmine: "Fine."
I get out of the room and close the door behind me.

For only 10 minutes of class I walk back to the classroom. I take a seat next to Blake and leave my books on the floor in my bag.

Blake: "How did you do this again?"
He looks at me laughing and crosses his arms.
Yasmine: "Long story short, my lawyer just had to call when I wanted to leave." I say softly.
Blake: "About yesterday's papers?" He asks out of curiosity.
Yasmine: "Yes, but there were still a few things more."
Blake: "Like ...?"
Yasmine: "Dijk."
He looks at me in surprise and then gestures with his eyes at Ruel. He is sitting next to me on the other side, but luckily there is still an big space in between, so he doesn't notice.
Yasmine: "She keeps an eye on everything."
Blake: "And he doesn't know?"
He is still amazed that family Van Dijk knows about my case. Not everyone, but most of them. Especially Sylvie and Coco. If I need anything from them now, they know what they can help me with.
Yasmine: "No."
I shake my head and look over to Ruel if didn't hear it by chance. But he's also wearing earphones, so it's unlikely that he heard it.

I feel like I'm being called all the time. Now again. It is a break and I walk into the school building with my earsphones. Because if necessary, someone can not wait to call. I don't mind after school. But it is getting earlier and earlier. Soon I'll be called in the middle of the night. Then they can forget that I'm going to answer. Calling me while I am at school is already going too far. But I'll just have to accept it.

Yasmine: "Yes ... yes ... yes." I say irritated, then I walk into the canteen.
I have not yet had lunch and I notice that I am going to react increasingly mean.

Yasmine: "So they don't think about me again. You know ... I'm just a little bit done with it. I just feel like there's more stuff going on. If we already know we can't beat him, why are we still fighting? "

Ruel: "What do you want?" He asks nicely when he sees me struggling.
I have my earphones in, my phone is in my hand because I have to take notes, my bag is on my back and I have to take my money.
I point to the fruit salad and give him a big smile while listening to the man on the phone.

I roll my eyes at the comment he makes again.
Yasmine: "He seriously thinks he can walk into my life again. I think he should take a brain scan. Because I think there's something wrong in that head of his."
Ruel laughs at my comment and gives me the fruit salad.
I hug him and then walk away.
Yasmine: "I'll transfer the money to you later." I say when I have turned around and walk out of the canteen backwards.
Ruel: "No, never mind, you don't have to. You're busy enough."
I give him a big smile, I turn around and walk outside.

I run back to the classroom and enter the room just two seconds before the bell rings.
I quickly sit down next to Ruel, because I can't find anyone so quickly.

And then my relax mode comes on. I breathe in and out for a moment and then put my head in my neck to look at the ceiling.

There are few people I can feel relaxed about, but apparently Ruel gives me some kind of rest.

I support my head in my hand and in the meantime start drawing.
Without having any idea what exactly I want to draw, the rose on my back comes out.

Ruel: "What time do you need to come back?" He asks quietly.
Yasmine: "At 5 o'clock, because at 4 o'clock I would be called again so they will start whining again." I say with a sigh.
Ruel: "Do you like it when we go for a walk together again?"
There is a nervous edge to his question that makes me smile.
Yasmine: "Sure, but I don't know if I can talk to you. Probably if I turn on my phone now it will ring constantly."
Ruel: "Doesn't matter."

For the umpteenth time I put my bag in my locker and only take my keys, earphones and phone with me.

We have made an appointment with Ruel at the big tree in front of school and I see that he is already there. Shall I scare him or not? It is not very pathetic or something.

Yasmine: "BOO!" I shout as I put my hands on his side.
He is shocked and turns around. There is a very big smile on my face.
Ruel: "Watch out Darcie."
That he calls me by my middle name sounds strange. Because nobody ever called me by my middle name. But it actually sounds nice.
Yasmine: "Didn't think so Vincent."

We walk back to the park and there is a light breeze. But it is not cold. It's just right.

As agreed I will be called at 4pm. I'm a little tired of all those conversations today. It is almost all negative. Look I can tolerate things better, but that means that it can not be too much for me.

Yasmine: "Do you have anything else to say other than this? Because I happened to hear this story a few times today. I can hang up now and talk to someone else who doesn't give me any negativity."
They talk so much nonsense.

Yasmine: "You are lucky that i am so loyal to you after all this. Otherwise you may get scared. I just come to the office and pull you on yours ears to my house. I think there is enough evidence that you may use."
In the corner of my eye I see that Ruel is laughing. I understand it sounds funny and I don't blame him for laughing at it. But I mean it. I'm just done with that bullshit all day.

With rolling eyes I put my phone away again. I take a deep breath again and then try to put it off me.

Ruel: "Maybe we should arrange a distraction. Because I see you are done with this."
I look at him questioningly because I don't quite understand what he means exactly.
Ruel: "How about we organize a kind of movie night with our friends?"
Yasmine: "Oh that sounds kinda nice. When?"
Ruel: "Saturday, 5 o'clock, at mine?"
I am happy that he indicates that he wants to organize it at his home. I prefer not to have other people in our house, because I am never sure what could happen at the time.
Yasmine: "Fine. Who do you want me to invite?"
Ruel: "It doesn't matter, who you feel comfortable with. I will invite June, Liam, Carter, Harrison and Ash."

Fortunately, I already know June and Liam a bit. But I find it exciting to meet his other friends. They are new to me and I don't know how they behave. But I am confident that it will be all right.