Panic Attacks // Ruel // English

Chapter 58

I hurry through the house and gather all my things together when I have an apple in my right hand and take a bite now and then. I don't have time for another breakfast.

Ruel: "Butterfly calm down." Ruel shouts laughing as he walks out of his room.

I've never heard that nickname, but it sounds funny. I do not respond and continue to search for my house key. Today I have to go back home after a very long time. Actually, I don't dare. I don't dare to put one foot over that threshold. My heart starts to beat faster just thinking about it. The house is full of insecurity, there is just a nasty atmosphere. Still, I have to pick up my camera equipment, today I have to take pictures of Ruel.

Ruel: "Why so hurry? We have time." Ruel says as he sits on the bed in my room. He followed me here because he heard me being busy.

Yasmine: "I still have to pass my house."

My hands rummage between my things. I search all the pockets thoroughly but still can't find the key.

Ruel: "Are you looking for this one?" Ruel asks with a grin on his face, when he has the key hanging from his finger and is sticking it out in front of him.
I quickly walk up to him and want to take the key from him, but he withdraws his hand and closes his hand, letting the key disappear into it.
Yasmine: "Ruel give it to me." I shout sternly.
Ruel: "Only if you start to breathe normally. You are stressed about nothing at all ... It will be fine." He reassures me. I roll my eyes and take a deep breath.
Then he hands me the key and I quickly turn around to continue what I was doing. But he grabs my arm and turns me back.

Ruel: "Hey. Look at me." He commands, but in a loving way.
I look at him with alert eyes. His hand does not leave the skin of my arm, but it moves to my hand.
Ruel: "Nothing can happen to you today. I try to be with you every moment. Okay? You don't have to be alone in places where you might feel unsafe."
Yasmine: "But what if they start to think there is more going on between us than just a friendship."
Ruel: "There is. Then they are good detectives. What is the worst that can happen if they know about it?"
I shrug and look away from him. It's just a lot of things put together. A lot is asked of me. It is all new. But I also know well enough that I can't skip a few hours in a day. Although sometimes I would really like to.
Ruel: "I know everyone who is there today. It will be fine."

Ruel lets go of me again, but this time I'm not running away. Zoned out I look outside.

Ruel: "Is there anything else?" He asks when he tries to look me in the eye.
Yasmine: "I don't want to go home." I tell him softly. So soft that he may not have been able to hear it at all.

Ruel: "I can go with you if you prefer."
I nod carefully. Ruel gets up and takes me in his arms. His head rests on mine, and I can feel his hands moving across my back at a leisurely pace.
Ruel: "Let go of the stress. You can give it to me."
I take a deep breath in and then out, fantasizing that all the negative feelings are sliding off me into the ground.

I let go of Ruel and look behind me.
Ruel: "How can I help you?" He asks.

I like his caring side. Not many people take care of me the way he does.

Yasmine: "Could you already put that bag in the car?"
I point to the big black bag in the corner of the room. Still half empty, but it will come back filled. The longer I stay in this house, and can stay. The more stuff I need from the other house.

Ruel and I arrived at my house and are waiting in the car in the driveway. There is only one car. So someone is probably home. All I have to do is walk into the house and straight to my room. Close the door and pack my things.