Panic Attacks // Ruel // English

Chapter 55

I wake up to the lukewarm drops streaming down my face. I rub my tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand. The pressure on my chest is getting less and less and my heart is starting to beat more slowly.

Ruel: "Hey what is wrong?" Ruel asks concerned in a deep, crackly voice.  He has woken up from the movements I made and rubs his eyes for a moment to look at me. He turns on his side to get a good look at me and rests his head on his hand.

Yasmine: "I don't know ... You were just so nice to me in my dream." I smile shyly, but it is mixed by the sobbing, because I have to cry again.

He takes me in his arms and kisses my head.

Ruel: "I'm always nice to you." He says teasingly.
Yasmine: "Not really." I try to say as seriously as possible.
He nods his eyes in a thin line, but his eyelids don't make the difference.  Ruel's eyes are too easy to read. They reveal many emotions, but you have to do your best to discover them. You have to look calmly for the emotions he has hidden from himself. Yet it is not always good for him that he puts them away so easily. He needs to be more open and honest about it, that will do him better. I can't blame him, I'm doing the exact same thing.

Ruel: "What happened in your dream?"
His eyes go from the ceiling to me. I lie on my stomach on his chest. My head rests on my hands that I have placed under my chin and my arms are folded like wings along his chest. So that there is not too much pressure on him. I watch the twinkles that form in his eyes when he looks at me.
Ruel: "You don't have to say it if you don't want to."
Yasmime: "It's a bit complicated to explain. But you handled the situation really well."
Ruel: "Now I'm getting curious. You know that."
My smile widens. So wide that the corners of my mouth start to hurt. I know it very well. He wants to know everything. He will keep looking for answers until he finds them. But he will probably never know my dream. Unless he is suddenly become a superhero who can read my mind. He has always been a superhero to me, with the powers that come from himself. You are the best superhero as long as you believe in yourself and stay yourself. Someone will be waiting for you to be saved. They will adore you with all their heart.

Yasmine: "Wait what time is it?" I ask when I see an orange glow shining through the room.
Ruel gropes for the bedside table and takes his alarm clock and then presses the button to light up the digital screen. I watch with him and drop my head on his chest when I see it is almost 7 o'clock. I growl from tiredness. His chest twitches uncontrollably from the chuckle that rolls over his lips.
Ruel: "You haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately, are you?" He observes when he runs his hand through my long hair. I shake my head while at the same time burying it in his warm skin.
Yasmine: "Does it stand out that much?" I ask, muttering.
Ruel: "A little." He answers with a laugh.

An hour later we are downstairs in the kitchen and I help with cutting the strawberries. The green crown is cut off and I take the strawberry between my fingers and then bring it to Ruel's mouth. I force him to open his mouth, because the strawberry is moving closer and closer to his lips, even as he recoils with his head. He takes the whole strawberry in his mouth and can barely chew on it due to its size. We both laugh at the red juice that flows from his mouth, over his lip and down his chin. He can hardly get rid of the strawberry. Then eventually he swallows it, after which a sigh escapes. Laughing, he shakes his head gently, almost imperceptibly.

Yasmime: "And? Did it tastes?" I ask with a smile.
He takes a blueberry, quickly puts a hand on the back of my head and pushes the berry into my mouth. He knows I hate blueberries, I can tell by the grin on his face. But I will not surrender by swallowing it anyway. I spit the berry out and it hits Ruel's forehead.
Ruel: "Ohhh just wait, you stubborn."
Laughter fills the kitchen and is echoed off the smooth surfaces around us.