Panic Attacks // Ruel // English

Chapter 5

(Yasmine's pov)
My heart rushes into my throat when I suddenly hear something. I run towards Ruel and almost want to grab his hand. I walk as close to him as possible, but far enough away that we don't touch each other. He seems to have heard nothing at all, because he walks normally.

I quickly look over my shoulder but I don't see anything at all.

Ruel: Are you all right?
I look at him and nod. He looks a little worried.
Ruel: "Okay then it is good." And he turned back towards the path and the trees.

I am a bit calmer again and the atmosphere is quite pleasant. The environment here is really very beautiful. I think I go here more often.

Suddenly I hear Ruel humming.
I look at him and he looks quite happy. It actually makes me a bit happy. Very deep inside.

Yasmine: "What are you humming?"
He smiles and then looks at me.
Ruel: "Nothing special." He says quietly.

Ruel: "Can I ask you something?" He asks curiously after a while.
Yasmine: "Fine."
He looks at the green trees for a moment and then returns to me.
I hope he doesn't ask anything too difficult because I don't feel like it.

Ruel: "Why don't you trust me?"
Yasmine: "Simple, because I don't trust anyone."
Ruel: "Not even your friends?"
Yasmine: "The only one I really trust is Blake, otherwise I trust you a little or not at all."
Ruel: "And why is that?"
Yasmine: "Long story ... I'm not going to tell you."
He shrugs and lets it go.
It wasn't that bad at all.

Then I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I completely forgot. Normally when I get out of school I call Blake. But now I'm not finished with school so I completely forgot.

Yasmine: "Sorry, sorry. I forgot, I have to stay a little longer."
Blake: "It doesn't matter." He says laughing.
Blake: "I just wanted to make sure something hadn't happened to you."
Yasmine: "I'm safe, don't worry."
Blake: "Why do you have to stay after."
Yasmine: "Yeah ..... I've been yelling at someone in class."
He starts to laugh. Ruel also gets a smile on his face.
Blake: "When would it not be."
That also makes me laugh.
Yasmine: "I'll call you back when I'm really home, okay? I love you, keep you strong."
Blake: "All right, trust in yourself."
With a smile on my face I hang up again and put my phone away again.

Ruel: "Who was that?"
Yasmine: "Oh that was Blake."
He looks down at the ground.
Which makes me laugh.
Me: "It's my best friend." I say laughing.
I'm sure he thought I was in a relationship with Blake because I said I loved him. It is true, but not that way. I don't know if I can start a relationship with anyone at all.

Ruel: "You can trust me Yas." He says quietly as we walk into the park.
I look at him, but then quickly take my eyes off him. I will not go into it further. I just know that I'm not going to trust anyone and if I did, it would get out of hand anyway. I don't want to because my image of man goes down even more.

I walk over to a bench and sit down. Ruel sits next to me, but all the way on the other side of the bench.
I stare at the pond where ducklings swim around. Until I suddenly feel a little pushing against me. I look down and see a little kitten petting my leg.

Yasmine: "Hey sweetie." I say in a high voice.
I start stroking him and scratching behind his ears. I see Ruel smiling in the corner of my eye, but I pretend I don't see it.
Yasmine: "What are you doing here?" I ask while I keep stroking.
Ruel: "He's not going to talk back, but I think you're cute." He says laughing.
Yasmine: "You can call him cute, but get it out of your head to call me that." I say, annoyed by his statement.

Ruel: "We have to go back, we will have to stay longer because we were late."
I nod and we walk back to school.

*At school*
We are waiting in front of the classroom for the teacher to come. I stand against the wall with the back of my head resting against the wall. I closed his eyes and do my breathing exercises.

Teacher: "Ms Gray, are you sleeping well?"
I shoot from my thoughts and roll my eyes.
Yasmine: "No, but if it was, it is a sign that you should have come earlier." I say irritated.
Well there went my rest moment.

We walk into the room and Ruel sits at the table against the wall. So I leave a table between us and sit down. But then he gets up again and sits a table closer to me.
I roll my eyes and sit at the table against the window.
When I see him sitting next to me. I sigh and get up.
Teacher: "Yasmine it's not a chair dance, so sit down again."
I roll my eyes and cross my arms.
Ruel has a very wide grin on his face and looks out of his eyes playfully.

Yasmine: "So what should we do?" I ask irritably.
Teacher: "Well, since you were yelling at each other about what you wanted or didn't want from each other, I decided that you have to write a letter to each other. It says exactly what you want."
Yasmine: "What the fuck is that for assignment." I say angry.
Teacher: "Watch your language, Mrs. Gray."
Ruel: "Well that last name suits you." He says laughing.
I look at him angrily and raise my middle finger.

A piece of paper is placed on my table and I start sighing again.
But I want to get out of here as soon as possible, because I can't be locked in a room with these people. So I start writing.

To asshole,
Leave me alone. I don't need your attention. Don't stare at me.
Don't give me a nickname.
Do not talk to me.
There is probably more, but I'm done with it.

I put my pen down on the table loudly and sit down. Ruel is still writing a lot. He is not someone who likes to send letters to people, but I am afraid I will be here for a while.

Teacher: "You are ready very quickly." He says pointing to the paper.
Yasmine: "I want to get out of here, that's why."
Teacher: "Then you're out of luck, because you will have to wait until Ruel is ready."
Here we go again.
Yasmine: "But that guy is going to write a whole story." I say angrily pointing at his paper.
He pretends he has not heard that and writes calmly.

I look outside to pass the time, but soon I am done with that. There is not much to see because everyone has already gone home. I check the clock and it is already 5 o'clock, not that I really want to go home, but I would like to get out of here.

I take my phone out of my pocket, but I'm sorry I did. Because I panic and panic at the message that has been read.
Yasmine: "No, no, no!" I say as I get up from my chair.
Teacher: "Yasmine sit down, we are not done yet."