Panic Attacks // Ruel // English

Chapter 35

Knives are stung in my heart when my mother's words flow from her mouth. I always hoped that the longer this went on, the less the words would hurt me. Unfortunately that is not the case. Sometimes I can separate myself well from her and reject the words. But sometimes it seems like they are flying towards him like knives and I don't have time to avoid them. As if I were chained to the ground with chains. Just like this time.

Mom: "You really are a shame for the whole family!" She yells at me while gesturing with tight hand and arm motions.
Yasmine: "I am a shame! Fuck off, who told you that?!"
Mom: It's just facts!
Yasmine: "It's not facts at all. You guys are just fucking insane!"

Nola comes down the stairs and stands with her arms folded and looks at us sternly.

Nola: "Both, shut the fuck up!"

Mom: "Don't get involved, it's between me and Yasmine." She says angrily, but her tone is softer than when she's talking to me.
Nola: "No, you have to stop blaming Yasmine for everything and get mad at her every time. And you Yasmine, you have to reduce your killer attidute. It's like you can shoot us straight into the heart."

She's right too. Maybe I overreact too. Actually not. Because I've been building this behavior almost all my life. Whether I wanted it or not. It was just to protect myself. If I had been submissive I don't know how far would have come or what would have happened to me.

I roll my eyes, pack my bag off the floor, take my keys, and let the front door shut behind me.

I was about to leave anyway. So it won't be long before Blake hits the street.

Honking, he slows down. I look at him with eyes too fiery, causing him to throw his hands up for mercy. A small smile appears on my face and I get into the car.

Yasmine: "Sorry."
Blake: "Doesn't matter."

He takes an apple from the compartment by the door and throws it my way.

Blake: "I'm guessing you haven't had breakfast either."
I shake my head with my teeth in the apple. Indeed, I did not have time to eat.
Yasmine: "Thank you." I say when I swallowed the bite.

I stand by my locker and slowly put the books in my bag. My head is not really there today. Suddenly I see a tall figure leaning against the lockers. I know very well who it is, but I pretend I don't see him.

When I close my bag my locker closes with a bang. I startled for a moment and then make eye contact with Ruel. He raises his eyebrows and turns the key between his fingers.

Yasmine: "Oh hey." I say innocent.
Ruel: "You're not going to tell me you haven't seen me."

A grin forms on my face.
Yasmine: "What if I did?"
Ruel: "Darcie you've seen me. Your nose isn't growing yet." He teases.

Every time he calls me Darcie a warm feeling comes inside. Nobody calls me Darcie. It's as if for others my middle name doesn't exist. Except for Ruel.

Yasmine: "Vincent can I get my key back?" I asks while holding out my hand.

He grins at me and holds my key behind his back.

Yasmine: "Can I please get them?"
Ruel: "Um, let's think ... You can come and get it."

I slit my eyes and fold my arms over each other.

He lets the key hang a little looser in front of me and I take my chance. I grab my keys with a quick movement, but unfortunately. He caught on to me too quickly.