Demigods At Hogwarts (pjo/hoo/hp crossover)

Chapter 3 || The Hat is Mad

HARRY POTTER

I watched as it was his turn to go to the hat. He stared at the hat and the hat's facial expression seemed to change into utter horror as he stared. Probably a Death Eater. Percy sat on the stool and before the hat could even make it four feet to Percy it began to scream.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he let out the shrillest scream.

Everyone instantly covered their ears. It was louder than a mandrake. 

"AHHHHHHHHHH! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! STOP IT PLEASE! STOP IT! STAY AWAY FROM ME! AHHHHHHHHH! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Tears began to seep from the hat's "eyes" and it began to jerk around furiously. McGonnagal frowned and took it closer and the hat somehow pummeled McGonnagal's arm, knocked out of her grasp, and began to hop away, tears staining the ground. But then it fell over. 

"WOE IS MEEEEEEEEE!" it wailed, "WOEEEEE ISSS MEEEEEEEEE! NOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOO! GET ME OUT OF HEREEEEEE!"

All this screaming made it get hoarse and raspy and it slowly wrapped itself in the carpet below the stool and began to inch away before rolling down the entire aisle and out the door, sobbing all the way.

"Well..." Percy stared at it.

"I'm gonna go fetch it," McGonnagal sighed.

"Uh... what house--"

"I'm gonna get it," McGonnagal cut him off and raced down the hall.

A long silence before McGonnagal came back covered in tears and dragging a soaked carpet behind her, holding the hat.

"You have to tell the house," she murmured to the hat.

"IS IT NOT OBVIOUS?! GET ME AWAY! GET ME AWAY! HIS HEAD WILL GIVE ME NIGHTMARES! GRYFFINDOR! GRYFFINDOR! GET ME AWAYYYYYYYYY! I SAID I DON'T WANNA SEE ITTTTT! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Tears began to soak the people sitting in the front of the aisle and McGonnagal was drenched again.

"I NEED A PAY RAISE!" the hat screamed before jerking away and inching down the aisle like a caterpillar.

"Okie dokie..." Percy trailed off, "Well... hi... nice to meet you, too, Mr. Hat."

He stepped quietly along to the Gryffindor table, where Hermione was the only one laughing her head off.

"Hermione!" Percy hissed and she bit her lip.

"Wait..." Ron cleared his throat, "You know each other?"

"My half-sister is his girlfriend and we went to the same summer camp."

"You have a sister?!" Ron gasped, "She must have a rough time at home."

"Oh shut up!" Hermione snapped and sat down, ready for food.

"Let the feast... uh... begin!"

Food appeared on the table and Percy just helped himself before waiting for me to eat. I glared daggers and he looked over.

"You good? I didn't introduce myself. Hi, I'm Percy."

"Harry Potter," I expected him to tremble in fear but he just smiled.

"Nice to meet you."

I wanted to slap him, but we were all gathering to go up to the common room.

"This way," Ron and Fred yelled, "WATCH THE STAIRS!"

Percy laughed and did a perfect backflip as the stairs he was on began to move. He flipped onto the right one and all the girls began to swoon. He just stared at them, confused, like an idiot. I rolled my eyes and began to try and do the collar thing he did with his robes. Ron stared at me.