He Thinks He's the Best - J.H

Chapter 33

Roxy pov

I drove to a store. I got out and bought some flowers before getting back into my car and driving off.

"Hey Li." I sighed as I placed the flowers on his headstone, after brushing off some of the dirt that had built up.

"Hey Rox." He smiled as he sat down next to me. "He was happy you know." He said to me.

"I doubt that." I denied.

"Why?" He questioned.

"Because he didn't say anything." I answered simply.

"He was processing what you said. But when you first said it, he was happy. You could see it in his eyes. I mean, he's a single guy with a beautiful daughter, but he's lonely." He explained in a soft tone.

"And how would you know that Li?" I asked as I turned to him.

"Because, when I'm not with you, I'm watching over her. I guess you could say I'm her guardian angel." He smiled. "That means I see him too. He feels lonely, even with Leela, and saw this as an opportunity to fill that. He's been wanting to fill it for months, but didn't because he's too scared you'd say no." He explained as he looked at me.

"I don't even know why I'm getting my hopes up, or his. There is still a high chance I'll miscarry this child just like I did the last." I dismissed.

"Rox, don't do that to yourself, you miscarried that child because he drugged you. It's not your fault and you can't keep blaming yourself. He was a disgusting excuse for a human being, but now you have someone who is ready to give you the love that you need. Stop moping over me, and Ryan, and Sophia, and go and be with Jaden." He said to me.

"But if I stop 'moping' over you, I'll lose you for good." I whispered as I felt my eyes gloss over and start to sting.

"You could never lose me Ro, but it's time you move on." He persuaded.

"I can't. I'll have nothing left to live for if I can't talk to you. If I forget and move on from your death, you'll just be a memory." I cried softly.

"But that's all I am Roxy. I'm just a memory. You're not talking to me. You're talking to yourself, or at least that's what other people see. You'll never be truly happy if you don't forget about me." He said as he tried to convince me.

"I'll try new things, but I'm not forgetting about you." I protested as I stood up.

"You're compromising your own happiness if you do." He shouted out to me.

"No I'm not, because if I can't talk to you, I'd have no happiness left." I smiled smugly as I waved to his ghost. I walked back to my car, and sighed when I got in.

Is this really what I want?

Is this what Jaden wants?

Is he going to hate me for getting pregnant?

What if he wants me to get an abortion?

Is that what I'd want?

With all of my thoughts circulating in my head, I drove back. I went around the city a few times, just trying clear my head of everything going on. But it didn't really work.

When I had parked my car, everything was slowed. All of my movements felt heavy, and my head felt heavy. All of this strain isn't good for my mental state. I trudged my way to the elevator and waited for it to take me up. When I got out and turned the corner, I did not expect to see Jaden sat there, leaning against my door. He looked to be asleep, and his breathing was heavy. It looked at his face, and it was wet. He must've fell asleep not that long ago, since the tears look fresh.

"Jae. Wake up." I said as I approached him.

I was kind of hoping he didn't wake up, so that I could open the door and let him fall back. It seems mean, but I needed a laugh. Much to digress, he woke up at the sound of my voice.

"Roxy?" He asked in his sleepy state.

"Morning sunshine." I laughed as I opened the door, causing him to still fall back. But I held his head so he didn't hit it on the floor, and just placed it down.

"Where'd you go?" He asked as he stood up, stumbling from being sat down for too long.

"I went to see Liam, why?" I explained as I walked over to my kitchen and got out a bottle of water from the fridge, throwing one over to him too.

"Didn't want you doing anything stupid." He said as he opened the water and took a sip.

"Stupid like what?" I asked, genuinely interested.

"Well, I didn't want you going out and getting drunk, or doing something else to stop the overwhelming emotions. Didn't want the baby to be at risk." He explained.

"It's a clump of cells for starters, but I'm not stupid and reckless, I wouldn't do that." I said as I sat on the counter, facing him.

"So are you aborting it?" This is going to go one of two ways for him, I can't see either of them working.

"Why, is that what you want me to do, so you don't have to deal with another child?" I asked in a defensive tone, crossing my arms over my stomach.

"No! Oh my god, I just realised how bad that sounded. No, Jesus, I didn't mean it like that. What I meant was, is that your decision? Because you were talking about calling it a clump of cells, which I agree it is, but that's normally what people would argue when they argue for abortion being the right thing. Which it's all a choice by the way. I wouldn't hate you if you wanted t-" I cut off his rambling by kissing him. He seemed shocked but kissed back.