He Thinks He's the Best - J.H

Chapter 70

Jaden pov (one month time skip)

It's been over a month since Roxy and Jordan had got cleared to go home, but ever since then, Roxy isn't the same.

At first it just started with the lack of interest in everything. It was nearing the end of the summer break and so Leela would go back to school in the September, but Roxy couldn't be the least bit interested in any of it. She tried but you can see it deep in her eyes she just physically couldn't care for it.

And then it turned into all of the sleepless nights. Jordan kept disturbing in the night, and when she wanted milk, there was only so much I could do. She refuses to feed out of a bottle, we've been trying to get her to do it for over a week now and she still isn't taking to it. It seems that whenever Roxy feeds her, once she's fed, Jordan will literally start screaming until she is put down, or I eventually come and take her so Roxy can sleep.

At random times throughout the day, Roxy will be completely out of it. It's like her consciousness completely leaves her body for an amount of time. You can see her eyes gloss over whenever happens and her breathing becomes uneven. It's like she's having a panic attack inside her own head. What's scarier is when that kind of thing happens while she's doing something. She becomes completely like a robot or a programme. The other day she almost took her own fingers off because it happened while she was cutting cucumber, she had zoned out and didn't stop when she got to the end of the cucumber.

It's really difficult to deal with this, especially when Roxy doesn't recognise what's going on. Like she could be crying, and as soon as you break her out of the trance she will have absolutely no idea what is going on. I knows she needs help, but I can't do anything if she can't acknowledge what's going on.

I had just gotten back from dropping Leela off at my moms house for the night, and as soon as I had opened the door, I was met with screaming. I walked into the living room to see Jordan in her cot screaming and crying, while Roxy was curled up in the corner of the room with tears streaming down her face. I went to pick Jordan up and she stopped crying almost instantly, which only made Roxy appear to cry harder. I quickly got Jordan into some form of a sleep before walking over to Roxy.

"Baby, what's going on? Talk to me." I told her as I slid down the wall next to her.

"She'd been crying for over a fucking hour. I couldn't touch her or she'd get louder. You just fucking came in and picked her up like it was nothing." She said in disbelief.

She looked pale. Sick almost. She was also a lot skinnier than she was before she was pregnant, and her face is really hollow. She has major bags under her eyes, and they look swollen.

"You're not okay baby." I said as I wrapped an arm around her.

"Don't you think I fucking know that? I know I'm not okay, but my health is not what I'm concerned about. What I'm more fucking worried about is why my own daughter won't let me fucking touch her without screaming bloody fucking murder. What I'm more concerned about is why I can't feed her, she won't feed from me anymore. Breast milk or otherwise, she won't fucking do it. She would much rather fucking starve herself then have me feed her. So yes, I know I'm not fucking okay Jaden, but that is not on my top list of priority." She completely detached her body from me as she stood up and started to pace.

She's going to pass out any minute now. I can see it in her eyes that are fighting to keep any but of glimmer in them. The angrier she gets herself, the harder she's making her body work. I stood up and walked over to her. She tried to walk away, but her body completely shut down. I caught her and laid her on the sofa.

"Mom." I said when she picked up the phone.

"What's up baby?" She asked.

"Can either you or dad come and pick up Jordan? I need to help Roxy and it's be easier if she wasn't here." I explained.

"You do realise she hasn't been cleared to have sex and probably won't for another for weeks right?" She laughed.

"Jesus Christ, not every single thing in our relationship has to do with sex mom. Can you just come and pick Jordan up please?" I groaned as I walked over to the baby.

"Okay okay, I'll be there soon. I'm leaving Leela with your father." She said as a car engine started in her end.

"Thank you." I said as I hung up.

I looked down at the baby in the cot. I leant forward and picked her up. She opened her eyes and looked at me. Her big blue eyes were shining as she looked around the room.

"You need to stop giving mommy such a hard time. She's trying her hardest and I really need you to cooperate with her. She's strong, but I don't know how far she'll let you push her before she topples over. I can't risk losing her again baby, I really can't. So I need you to work with me here." I whispered to her as I felt my eyes start to sting.

The thought of losing Roxy scares me half to death. I knew I wouldn't be able to continue on if I didn't have her help, but there is almost nothing I can do to help her. There isn't much that I can do if she won't talk to me, but I know she's not going to.

"Hey baby, I'm here." My mom said.