Frozen soul

Chapter 49

I DON'T OWN VIDEO

Chara didn't go outside of cabin in a week. She barely eat and sleep. Her dreams were haunted by her loved ones dead. She feel herself be like a ghost. She had find Loki's shirt from laundry basket and has wear it whole time. She has forced herself in shower once. She has wound in her heart which still bleed out. She has cried for two days, after that tears has run out. Only pain and emptiness accompany her after that. Kiba couldn't cheer her up. He has spent more and more time in forest but has always returned in evening. Chara hug him all night. 

Chara has woke up in small hours again because of nightmare. She sigh tiredly and rise from bed. Kiba whine worried and jump after her. She slouch to kitchen and put tea kettle on stove. She wait until it was ready and pour big cup to herself. She let Kiba outside and curl under blanket in armchair. She sit in dark and stare front of her without seeing anything. She didn't know how long she has sit in there when she hear Kiba scratch door. She blink her eyes couple times and look at her cup. It is already cold and she has drink only half of it. She sigh and put it on coffee table and stand up. "Coming Kiba." She yell and walk to door. She open it. 

Kiba yip happily and rush past her. "Hi Winter." Chara slowly rise her head and see Thor standing in her porch. Chara stare at him confuse. "Can I come inside?" Chara slowly nod and make way. Thor slip inside and look around. Chara close the door and turn to look him. "How did you get in here?" She ask with croak voice. She clear her throat. "I have been in forest for two days already actually. This morning Kiba find me and lead me here." Thor explain with smile. Chara turn to look at wolf. He grin happily and look proudly between them. Chara shake her head. "Unbelievable." She mumble. "You want something?" She ask. Thor shake his head. "Can we sit down and talk?" He ask. 

Chara frown but wave toward couch. Thor sit down on it and Chara sit down on armchair. "Ho-How is Loki's wounds? Are they healed?" Chara ask quietly. She lower her gaze in her lap. "He is healed completely. Banner was impressed how good you have treated those." Thor answer proudly. Chara let out breath she didn't noticed holding in and relax. They sit in silence for a moment. "Winter. Can you tell me what happened? Loki came back alone and only told us that you break up, that you didn't want him." Chara whip her head up. "NO. That wasn't the reason we broke up." She answer desperately. "Then what happened?" Thor ask gently. Chara swallow and lower her gaze again.

Thor sigh after a while. "Is that his shirt?" Thor ask gently. Chara nod and feel how tears come in her eyes again. "You miss him?" She nod a little. "You love him?" "I... I can't." Chara whisper. Thor frown. "What do you mean?" He ask confused. "I can't love him." she explain with pained voice. "Because he is Jotun?" "NO!" Chara answer with angry growl. "Then why not?" Thor push her. "Because everyone I ever loved or even cared end up leaving me or die." Chara snap. Tears are now streaming down her cheeks. She stare at Thor in misery. "He almost died already. I don't want him to die because of me." Chara cry. Ragged sobs come from her. "I can't handle it too." She whisper before hiding her face in her hands. 

Kiba move to nudge her gently with whine. Chara mindlessly move her left hand to pet him. She feel how Thor move front of her. For her surprise he pull her in hug. Chara hide her face in his chest and cry. "Shhh, it is okay Winter. You're not alone anymore." Thor comfort her gently. "I'm cursed to be alone." She sob. Thor gently rock her. "No you're not. You are not alone anymore. You are one of Avengers now. You are not alone." Thor continue to comfort her. Chara managed to take control over her emotions and gently push Thor away. He obey and sit down on couch as close to her as possible. 

"I am cursed Thor." She rise her hand to silence his protest. "I loved my mother like any child do and she abandoned me. My grandfather abandoned me without even giving me a chance. I loved my adopted parents and they got killed. My friends" Chara spit term angrily. "Either scared me and left me or tried to kill me after finding out my powers. Everyone I ever cared, even a little, leave me one way or another." Chara explain darkly. Thor stay quiet for a while. "You told that alien commander that you always had found someone who accept you." He say confuse. Chara let out sad laugh. "I lied. I didn't want your pity or that you mistrust me because of it." She answer. "Then what have changed?" Chara smile sadly to him. "I don't care anymore." She answer. 

Thor lean back and cross his arms. He stare at Chara thinking something. Chara drop her smile and slowly stand up while rising the cold tea cup from coffee table. She manage to take one step toward kitchen until Thor open his mouth. "You should know that your decision isn't only hurting you." Chara turn to look at him confuse. "This is also hurting Loki." Chara feel bang in her chest. "He should forget about me and look for someone more suitable to him." She whisper with pained voice. 

"He hasn't loved anyone like you Winter, never before. Trust me, ladies have tried. You were first one who didn't care about his status." Thor answer serious. "Don't." Chara plead. Thor stand up and walk to her. He grab gently her shoulder. "He need you and it look like you also need him." Thor say gently. Chara swallow. "He hate me. I'm the reason he got hurt and then I push him away." She whisper in grief. He smile to her gently. "Why you won't come with me and try to speak with him?" Chara shake her head. "He will get hurt or worse if we become close again." Thor gently rise her head with his finger. "He is in pain right now because you aren't together." Chara's lips start to tremble. "You should talk to him. You can try again. You're not alone anymore Winter. We have your back and we help you to face whatever you had to." Thor assure her gently. Chara feel how her decision crumple down. "Okay." She whisper. Thor smile widely and Kiba yip next to her.